You should know that I courtesy flush and that carnivorous vegetation scares me. Dancing with me will change your life. On any given day, the following adjectives always apply to me: kind, generous, creative, dependable, funny, and sweet. I deplore paper cuts, ink stains, all manner of burns, and when moonlit kisses cool in the warmth of the sun. I think sweater vests rock. I love any narcotic-free activity that keeps the endorphin levels up and the serotonin and norepinephrine levels balanced. Oh, and I firmly believe you can never play a car stereo loud enough . . . Why bother stretching speed limits without a righteous groovy tune blaring to boost the thrill?
In case you were curious, my ethnicity is Filipino meaning my Mom & Dad are from the Philippines. This also means I'm fairly good at math and genetically pre-disposed to having mad karaoke skills. Now, because my parents are extremely intelligent, wise, and daring, they spent much of 1967 legally immigrating to the greatest country the world has ever known. Here, they had and raised me and my sister in Philadelphia, a major U.S. city in the southeastern part of the great state of Pennsylvania -- the "Keystone State." I've spent most of my life in this area and only ever entertained thoughts of moving after graduating from Penn State. Fate + luck however led to a decent career path here and so it is here I stay.
Interestingly, my last name is actually of Spanish/Portugese descent and I'm certain I can trace my roots back to 15th century European expansion into the South Pacific. Yeah, in all likelihood, my branch of the family tree begins with the exploits of a drunken, horny conquistador on a three day pass having his beasty way with a gorgeous, nubile, and mocha-skinned island girl . . . Her tribal chieftain father probably arranged it, having seen fit to trade her virtue away for multi-colored glass beads, gun powder, a bottle of Ketel One, a bag of rock salt, the Blu-Ray box set of every season of Gossip Girl, and a pack of Marlboro Lights.
b) Strategically positioning fruit and veggies in my kitchen sink so they don't roll into my garbage disposal's maw while being washed.
c) Sitting still and looking pretty.
d) Creating epically listacular listicles (See Below) ...
Movies: Indie Comedies/Romantic Comedies, Thrillers.
Music: Alterna-Pop -Fountains Of Wayne, Ivy, Brookville, Bird & The Bee, Spearmint, The Ocean Blue, Wild Nothings, Vampire Weekend, Trashcan Sinatras, Pomplamoose, Lily Allen, The Killers, The Kaiser Chiefs, Franz Ferdinand, The Stone Roses, Tahiti 80, The Cymbals, Georgie James, Morning Benders, Mystery Jets, Friendly Fires, Belle + Sebastian, The Pipettes, God Help The Girl, Ladyhawke, The Hepburns, Flight Of The Conchords, Mark Ronson); New Wave - Duran Duran, Curiosity Killed The Cat, Flight Of The Conchords, Mark Ronson, Joy Division, The Smiths, New Order), Electro Pop (Calvin Harris, Junior Senior, Cicada, Capsule, Daft Punk, Chromeo, Pacific!, Miami Horror, Sally Shapiro, Flight Of The Conchords, Mark Ronson; Disco (Jamiroquai, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Flight Of The Conchords, Mark Ronson); Retro Soul - Amy Winehouse, Adele, Duffy, Mayer Hawthorne, Janelle Monae, The Noisettes, Little Jackie, Marvin Gaye -- He's timeless!; Chill/Lounge Eurotrash Groovy Stuff; Middle Eastern Instrumental Hip Hop; Classic Big Band; 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s Kitsch; Klezmer; Himalayan Throat Singing; Austrian Yodeling; Aussie Dijeridooing ...
TV: Veep (So hilariously written!), The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Difficult People (Billy Eichner is such a loveable spaz!), 30 Rock (Tina Fey rules!!), Parks and Recreation, Silicon Valley, Saturday Night Live, Arrested Development, Portlandia!, Louis CK, Anything Maria Bamford does (stand-up, Target commercials, etc.), Zach Galifianakis!! Bo Burnham!! Conan!!, Colbert!!, Jimmy Fallon!! Seth Meyers!! Downton Abbey (don't judge -- that show's compelling!) ... And lest I forget, Game Of Thrones, which a couple co-workers got me into and now I am obsessed with it.
Food: Mediterreanean, Spanish, Italian, Mexican, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Thai, Vietnamese, Polish, Russian, Cuban, Martian (I'll try anything!)
1. Love -- 'cause It's All You Need . . .
(Bonus points if you can name the band and song title I'm borrowing lyrical verbiage from here! ;-D) . . .
(Heh -- Aughts J. Lo ref . . . Blammo!!!)
... clever literary references in non-literary art forms make you chuckle.
... you find Shakespearean insults to be super funny.
... you enjoy dancing, live concerts, and dancing at live concerts to the music of ridiculously groovy bands.
... you enjoy movies and feel compelled to convert me into a fan of your favorite director(s), screenwriter(s), or actor(s)/actress(es) . . .
... you are well-read and feel compelled to convert me into a fan of your favorite author(s)/poet(s) . . .
... you promise to not show up to our first date -- which most likely will be Sunday Brunch (which is always my preference for a first date) -- unshowered, in sweatpants, and without a creative excuse.
... your nickname in college wasn't "Tone Lōc".
... you are not Republican/Conservative in thought, word, or deed. Seriously, Fuck Trump and the Nazi lackeys that staff his "administration"!!
... you do not "stripperize" your first name. It's spelled "Jackie" -- not "Jacquie", damnit! Nor should it be "Jennaphr", when it's screaming in the name of God to be "Jennifer"! Also, if your name is "Lindsay", you will stop writing it out as "Linzie", lest you make my head go 'splodey and make everyone think you're a bad person. C'mon Lindsay! You're better than that!
... your profile doesn't include pictures of you duck-facing in a bar, club, or bedroom, bathroom, or living room mirror. That shit has to stop.
... you think the sentence "I work hard and play hard" or any variation thereof is the most witless and douchy thing to write of oneself. Ever.
... you get to toe tappin' and head boppin' to this tune, whose lyrics are so preposterously apropos to the activity you and I both perpetrate on this site/app with every login!