Jacquar
29Swansea, United Kingdom
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Jacquar
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My self-summary
A quick word in advance;

1: If I seem to be visiting your profile a lot, I apologise profusely - you're not being stalked by a person, but by a browser which insists upon periodically reloading pages that I've tabbed for later when too busy/too ADHD to take a look at the time.

2: I'm listed as looking for anyone, but my romantic tastes run hetero thus far in life, to give fair warning. I seek friends, however, so don't let it stop you saying hello, whoever you are.

3: This is a big, ancient mess of a profile, cobbled together over multiple updates to OkCupid's profile format and years of personal development. Feel free to skim, or call me out on anything that seems contradictory or confusing, or to simply say hello without reading it if you don't have the time for now.
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Salutations!

I am Jack's Outdated Profile.

It's a mixture of the old and the new, broadly accurate, but too interesting a record of my development for me to want to start it from scratch. I've been here forever, though I've not always been an active user, and I've many friendships and experiences to thank this place for.

I'm in my mid-late twenties as I rewrite this again, I'm biologically male, I suspect, but really have no time for all that gendered nonsense, except in jesting excess. I dress 'male', I suppose, but that's because the boys got to wear all the practical clothing.

I'm interested in very nearly everything. As long as it's interesting. Count out professional sport, music industry gossip, the front-end of politics, and fashionable cars/clothing/materialist nonsense in general. Everything else has a good chance of fascinating me, one way or another. I am particularly excited by getting lost in the woods, making interesting video games, almost all forms of art/creativity, photography, psychology, and martial arts - unarmed playfighting, melee combat (anything from steel HEMA to LARP boffing), everything from nerf guns to paintball to real firearms, knife and axe throwing

I aspire to take over the world, as a means of rescuing it. I have plans, and backup options, though I'm going to need help. That's where you might come in.

I do not discriminate against anyone for anything except stupidity. Not foolishness; silliness is vital - I mean real stupidity. Wilfully being a bloody idiot rather than cope with the challenges of reality in a way that wastes time, energy, materials and potential, and endangers others.

OkC once had a three-part self-descriptor beneath one's photograph, and when it was removed these words were added beneath my self-summary. I still like them;

"I am restless, dangerous, and strawberry-flavoured."
What I’m doing with my life
Getting lost in the woods as often as possible, finding myself again, hunting new friends and creative collaborators (ideally combined), and learning as many practical creative skills and artistic applications as possible. At the moment I'm trying to get on with the chainsaw carving and rotary tool engraving/sculpture, alongside masks, prosthetics and special effects for short films.

I travel as often as I can, personal demons and finances permitting, chiefly around Wales, over to England when I've the excuse, and would love some more international adventures - but I get incredibly restless when I have no-one to talk to, read stories to or make things with, so solo travel rarely inspires me to go far.

You'll almost never find me going anywhere without a camera - wildlife is my favourite subject, but I feel like a camera is an extension of me - it lets me remember things better than my brain could ever manage. I recently acquired a modern shiny phone, and I'm training myself to rely more upon the excellent built in camera instead of carrying the DSLR lenses everywhere, if only to save my back.

I'm also looking for the keys to eternal life, so all you transhuman life-extension types, do get in touch.
I’m really good at
Many things. I'm one of those frustrating people who is generally very good at things, so instead I'll clarify the ones I'm worst at as a fair warning in advance.

Motivation. I've a damaged headbox, from a variety of childhood events, plus a pre-existing natural predisposition to poor memory, concentration and motivation, adding up to a hearty ADHD diagnosis - the pills keep me working, but I can't get up and do things very effectively every day without fail - when I can, though, I engage with the world with enough energy to make up for the days I hide under the table.

Music, mathematics and programming: Remember the bit about ADHD above? My attention span just doesn't stretch wide enough to get through the above, or similar.

Swimming: Can't. I sink. Bone and muscle density? Wrath of Poseidon? Inherent magnetism? Who knows. Don't tell me it's a matter of willpower, or that 'anyone can' - some of us just sink like a stone, and all the effort and will in the world can't stay up. I can swim underwater, at least ;-;

Keeping my mouth shut: ... especially when someone is being offensively wrong/wrongly offensive about something, bullying others, or misleading someone.

Most other things, I'm pretty good at - or tend to pick up quickly. I consider myself very lucky x.x
The first things people usually notice about me
"Weird." or "Amusing." or, apparently "Unf pretty elf vampire boy D:", depending upon the person.

Slim, pale, long hair, high cheek bones, looks a bit like a background extra in a Blade film, but derpier.

They often think I'm much taller than I actually am. I'm Welsh, and not from up the valleys - we're small here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books, oh god... Come and have a look. Message me and I'll take a fresh photo of the shelves.

... Dune, Discworld, Gormenghast, Robin Hobb's trilogies, H.P. Lovecraft, Garth Nix' Old Kingdom, Peter F. Hamilton, a pile of comics, from Transmetropolitan to Judge Dredd, some Atwood, Tolkien, PKD, and I'll mention Pratchett again even though I listed Discworld because the man was a genius, gone too soon...

Films? Carpenter's 'The Thing', and 'Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence' are among the finest works of cinema yet made, as far as I've seen... Fury Road recently joined that list, and I think I might love Snowpiercer. Anything Luc Besson, Tarantino can be fun, when he isn't lost up his own arse. Dredd. Nausicaa is glorious. James Cameron lives in a very similar imagination-world to me, and makes me so very happy with his monsters and his robots and his grand adventures. John Carpenter is a genius. Danny Boyle gets better and better, Zack Snyder and the Wachowski Brothers make fun things. Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, V for Vendetta, The Green Mile, Fight Club, Wall-E, too many more to sensibly list. Chat with me about it.

Music? There I'm harder to please... Nine Inch Nails, Daft Punk, Gorillaz, Lorn, a remarkable amount of game-music - including the soundtracks of Silent Hill and Shadow of the Colossus, and a pile of console classics... A fair bit else besides, but no list so copious as the others - I am the least musical person I know. Happiest with ambient instrumentals while I'm making things or discussing the universe.

Food's tricky. Ethical concerns, both about meat and sources. Medication leaves me with little appetite, but I'm a terrible, guilty carnivore by necessity, with no taste for spice but an insatiable sweet-tooth. Mostly I settle for huge piles of pasta with parmesan, perverted pineapple pizzas, and other alliterative repast.

Strawberries and blackberries may be proof of the existence of a loving god.

Games, you ask? Oh, how thoughtful, OkCupid. My favourite games include the great Fallout, as well as Grim Fandango, Thief, Deus Ex, System Shock 2, Metal Gear Solid, Red Faction: Guerrilla, Planetside 2... STALKER, Rain World, Assassin's Creed, Shadow of the Colossus, Silent Hill, Hitman, and plenty else. Games are a big thing for me, as a field of study and a creative pursuit as well as just a hobby.
Six things I could never do without
The sanctity of my own mind is important, my ability to think and reason. The idea of losing that... Unsettling.

Sight. Sound and touch and taste are wonderful things, but if I couldn't see, I'd lose so much.

My ability to communicate, both as a speaker/narrator/storyteller and as an artist, sketching my ideas crudely but quickly.

Optimism. I've precious little of it, and I'll need every drop if I'm going to achieve anything I hope to.

The internet. It's our species' greatest achievement. Without global communication and access to an infinitely large library of information that grows faster than I can absorb the content, life would be a far darker and less purposeful experience.

People. Can't let them live, can't live without them... I'm arguably misanthropic, but I depend upon the reactions and feedback of others to spark my motivation to act, to travel, to make things. I have good self-awareness, but no 'sense of self', so my motivations must come from without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything. Too much everything.

A lot of time imagining, creating worlds, creatures, monsters, machines, characters and factions in my head. Or as the years go by, fighting not to, because it gets too depressing not actually bringing them to life in real projects.

How to fix things, to optimise the efficiency of everything from a cupboard door to a government. Similarly, this isn't a good one to think about too much when you can't enact the changes.

Mental health, psychology, and the madness of crowds... Humans frighten me.

Sexuality in general occupies at least as much of my mental runtime as you'd expect. Not specifically 'thoughts/thinking', but feeling/wanting. This does depend upon my level of social activity at the time - when I don't spend a lot of time around people, I don't tend to think so much about physical sharing with them.

... the nearest escape route/how to improvise any nearby object as a weapon if needed/whether the people around me are about to try to kill me/steal my things. I don't think it's paranoia so much as too many bad experiences granting me a baseline of caution, coupled with ADHD-brain being bored and using the constant analysis as a way to keep itself amused.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably not aware it's Friday, and doing all the things I might be doing on any given day.

Recently, specifically, Victorian Self-Defense classes with Glamorgan School of Arms!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't really have any sense of personal privacy, or have any secrets. I am not sure why. They do seem to make other people's lives more complicated and difficult.

Nope. Can't think of anything.
You should message me if
... you feel you can cope with an energetic, somewhat mentally and physically hyperactive individual who suffers moderate, rather than manic moodswings, and can be very gloomy for a few hours, then bouncing around excited by everything, then calmly contemplative and quiet, all in the space of an evening.

... you're inclined to deep conversation rather than shuffling through a collection of platitudes and anecdotes.

... you want to collaborate creatively in any artform.

... you want an adventure, especially one involving deep woods, rocky coastal cliffs, wendigos, goblins, the undead, or outer space.

I think that'll do. Thanks for reading =)
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The two of us
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