36Washington, United States
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My self-summary
Hello men of Earth C-137. Show me what you got!

Ever fancy a tomboy that likes to dress up as well? I can operate a radial arm saw with the same ease as a tube of mascara, though I prefer one to the other. I have an excellent credit score, no police record, and all of my own teeth. Can fold a fitted sheet so perfectly it looks like a flat sheet (oooh aaaah).

I am reasonably smart, fairly opinionated, quite idealistic, and will tell people what I feel and think. I am not demure, am subtle like a sledgehammer, and do not suffer fools. I aim to be kind and compassionate but sometimes fall short and land in snarky and skeptical. I'm a sucker for baby animals.

Cards on the table: I am looking for love, my big spoon, the guy I am proud to admire and call "my man," my equal and my inspiration. "My man" isn't intimidated by intelligence, strength, passion, and (let's face it) a little weirdness. "My man" inspires me to take on every adventure life brings my way with gusto and with the confidence that he has my back. He is always willing to finish off my leftovers or drink cocktails that I don't necessarily like. He's smart but not insufferable, he's social but not a lush, he's good with his hands and generous with his heart.

Fair Warning: I will make your dog love me more than it loves you.
What I’m doing with my life
In my 9-5 — herding lawyers.
In my 5-9 — running away from the lawyers
I’m really good at
panicking and saying something terribly awkward.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Sports: diehard NY Giants fan (they never make it easy). Love playing softball, miss playing volleyball (too much compression for my back... read below), am a fish in open water.

books: Shakespeare (my collected works is full of post-it flags and penciled in notes in the margin), forensic thrillers, non-fiction on a variety of topics (especially nutrition, food science, and forensic anthropology).

tv: Dr. Who (favorite Doctor? Vale Decem. 11 is great too. Not sold on 12) , Blacklist (behind because it is not on Hulu), Hannibal (RIP), Castle (RIP), Elementary, Marty Stouffer's Wild America, American Horror Story.

movies: more romcom/drama/comedy than action/horror.

music: I skew towards singers/bands that have amazing lyrics and solid melodies/harmonies. See, e.g., Elbow. And I think this may be the sexiest song, ever. Feel free to disagree but I require citations. Also check out the new Kishi Bashi album.

foods: Bacon. Garlic. Avocado. Everything else is secondary. Recently diagnosed with Celiac Disease. This is terrible for a New Yorker (and no, GF pizza is NOT the same).
Six things I could never do without
1. My friends (they are "the stars I navigate home by").
2. Modern medical technology (check out the photo of my artificial disc and new L5-S1 fusion!).
3. Music (Nietzsche said "without music life is a mistake" and I happen to agree)
4. A fully-loaded kitchen (both hardware (sharp knives) and software (fresh produce and proteins))
5. Buddhism (helped me be a happier person -- Thich Nhat Hanh, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield)
6. Otters (cute little psychopaths)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...why so many men on OkCupid have horrible photos of themselves and then say they don't have anything recent. EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW IS CARRYING A CAMERA. Make a friend, use good lighting, get it in focus, lay off the filters....

...why all you manly mens don't like cute little kittens...
On a typical Friday night I am
...pondering how I will try and takeover the world.

More recently telling @realDonaldTrump that he is an asshat.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't drink coffee. In fact, I quite dislike it.
I get my caffeine from tea.
You should message me if
Can you talk to a girl like she's a normal human being that deserves to be treated with respect and courtesy? And if I politely decline your overtures, please let me do so without interrogating me as to the why or calling me a slut. I'm just not interested for one reason or another. But good luck in your search. [And I know it's not just me — please stop being rude to my friends as well.]

Deal makers (and yes, these matter to me. Sorry to all of you aimlessly wandering smoking midgets):
1. Taller than me (I grew up with a dad that's 6'1")
2. Non-Smokers (My desire to kiss a smoker is absolute zero)
3. You have a reasonably full command of the English language (though if it's not your first language, that's cool too)
4. You have good manners and are a gentleman.
5. You know who you are, what you want out of life, and are in pursuit of that life.

Bonus Round: You have a husky, akita, malamute or pit-dalmatian.

To answer many your one-line emails that really waste my time/your time (I'm just deleting your email after your (minimal) effort):
"Hi, how r u?" (and variations thereof) -- I'm fine. Thanks.
"Hey, what's up?" -- The sky.
"Hey." -- Hey yourself.
"UR Beautiful" -- Thanks. My dad tells me that too, but he also tells me how talented, smart, compassionate, wise, and creative I am as well. Cause dad knows that being beautiful means zip if the rest of you is ugly.

If you have a moment, please check out my "OkCupid Exit Interview." I'm very curious how people react to my profile.

And to show me you actually read this, please include your favorite kind of cheese in your email.
The two of us