28Tarzana, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I spend a lot of time trying to come up with answers to really important questions. Like, how can I turn cleaning my apartment into a drinking game? What's the most efficient and enjoyable way for me to watch my Netflix queue? Why do grizzly bears appear simultaneously cuddly and terrifying? Is there a realistic way I could make money off of the ridiculous ideas I come up with while talking to people at parties? What is the minimum amount of effort I would have to put in, starting right now, to make it to the NBA? How can I make sure I get all of the Velveeta mac and cheese mix out of the pouch? What sort of funny, question-based scenario should I use to open my self-summary that will make me appear both cleverly quirky and emotionally grounded?

I'm a grateful Mavericks fan, a hopeful Rangers fan, and a marginally suicidal Cowboys fan. I haven't watched the Stars since Modano left.

I'm not a responsible human person, but I do a reasonable facsimile of one.
What I’m doing with my life
I drove to LA in a Buick Regal named LeRoi to live with my jackass friends and write comedies. I now write TV dramas, action movies, and thrillers. Don't worry, I don't know how it happened either.
I’m really good at
Spacing out during movies, and then having to rewind them because I don't know what's going on.
The first things people usually notice about me
My shirt is wrinkled. I'll tell you that it's supposed to look that way. It's not.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I still haven't been able to convince myself to make the move to the Kindle. Something about the tactile experience of leafing through a book keeps me browsing used book stores. The smell. The font. The thought that someone else has run their finger over a particularly interesting line before me. I love technology and all, but I don't think I'm ready to give that up yet.

On my shelf: I like both Tom Clancy and Umberto Eco, and I think that's ok. Grisham. Crichton. Jane Austen. Nonfiction about sports, war, or movies. Crime novels: Chandler, Hammett, Lehane, Elmore Leonard etc. That one series with the kid and the wizards and the flying golden balls. Pretending to have read Infinite Jest (it actually just sits on my shelf making fun of me). Still ride for the Hardy Boys.

Movies: Scorsese. Coen Brothers. Fincher. Hitchcock. Nolan. Hughes. Spielberg. Bigelow. McDonagh. The Scott Bros. PTA. Anything written by William Goldman, Tony Gilroy, or Shane Black. I'll defend Michael Bay any day of the week.

I have my top 10 favorite movies in a list on my phone so that I don't forget it. I only show it to people I trust, so be nice to me. (The Princess Bride is numero uno, the rest are in no certain order)

The Tube: Stranger Things. Breaking Bad. 30 Rock. Justified. Sopranos. South Park. Game of Thrones. Jessica Jones. Banshee. Veep. The Wire. Gossip Girl (The Wire of teen drama). Parks and Rec. The Americans. Peaky Blinders. New Girl. Pretty confident in my opinion that Chappelle's Show is the pound-for-pound funniest comedy series of all time.

Tunes: The eternal Phil Collins vs. Peter Gabriel debate. Led Zeppelin. Taylor Swift. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Kendrick. Foo Fighters. Bruce Hornsby. Beach Slang. Dre. John Mayer. Beyonce. Run the Jewels. Elton John. Bob Mould and every band he's been in. Atmosphere. Nick Drake. Madonna. The Boss. Smashing Pumpkins. Death Cab. Em. Dinosaur Jr. Paul Eason, and many Texas country guys like him. Dave Matthews. Ryan Adams. Hova. Third Eye Blind. Yes to Joe Walsh. No to The Eagles. Jagged Little Pill for real might be the best album of the '90s.
Six things I could never do without
Music that makes me happy, Cloudy days, Bourbon, Dad jokes, a good pair of jeans, Movies where someone is told to "secure the perimeter."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
That moment when you're listening to a new song, and the intro is so good that your immediate thought is "Please don't fuck this up. You're really on to something here, please don't fuck this up."
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying to make a well-structured argument to my friends why they should stop badgering me and let me stay home on the couch, or complaining that we don't go out and socialize enough.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not looking for a mother. I have one already and she's very nice.
You should message me if
You're a good person who likes cool stuff and are reasonably ambitious.
The two of us