26 Chicago, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I like turtles!

So I don't quite have all my shit together, but I'm working hard to get there. Looking for somebody who can understand that, and who maybe is even in the same position as me. The couple who grinds together, binds together. I hate describing myself, but most people describe me as very genuine.
What I’m doing with my life
I just recently started going back to school, I am graduating in the fall. I know, I'm a little late, but there are reasons for that. Also, trying to be a cop.

In the mean time, I'm bartending full-time, and taking care of my elderly, sickly mama. This part is very important; I know a lot of people find it unattractive that I have to live with an elderly woman, but it's a part of my life.

Trying to make time for the gym, but failing miserably. A workout partner would almost certainly help.
I’m really good at
Taking my pants off, whether it's for comfort or for the No Pants Subway ride.
The first things people usually notice about me
MALE BITCH FACE! My eyelashes are freakishly long and curly. My eyes are green. I have a butt chin. I have a crazy widows peak.

Essentially, I look like a stereotypical villain who hasn't yet committed fully.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Shows I actively keep up with:
Game of Thrones
The Leftovers
Peaky Blinders
The Walking Dead (ashamed of myself)
All the Netflix Marvel shows

Food...everything. I like everything.
And I REALLY like beer, wine, and cocktails.
The six things I could never do without
My pets
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- If going back in time and having sex with yourself is masturbation or legitimate sex
- How scarred I am from watching "A Serbian Film"
- Basketball
- Why gravity is such a cruel mistress
- Random dreams like giant Jesus fighting Godzilla for control of the countryside
- Coffee
- Why so many people's whole lives revolve around EDM
- Beer
- Inflicting harm to people who cut me off in traffic. [Note to self: get spy car]
- How beautiful you are
- Why my dog is sooooo annoying
- How many fucks I should give about my typos in a non-professional setting
- Why they only play the Remix to Ignition and not just the regular one [edit: the original one sucks. question answered at karaoke]
On a typical Friday night I am
Hating my life because I work bright and early on Saturday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've never had a one night stand.
You should message me if
If you agree that I am strikingly handsome, even though I'm only 5'7.

You want to grab a drink.

You are a dog trainer who can train my dog.

If you actually want to get to know me; I know my profile doesn't do a very good job of describing me.

I need to make friends who are available during the day!