I'm on here to have fun times with cool folk. If you are cool OR folky, let me know, and fun times can be arranged.
My ultimate dream is to make television - you know the "Created by" credit at the end of your favourite show? That's where I want to live.
I also host two weekly podcasts (starting a third soon) and do a lot of freelance consulting.
I like being busy, but I also like dating because it gives me time where I'm -not- working, and I can really relax and be in the moment with whoever I'm spending time with.
My friends didn't understand it. "Who wants to be turned into a safari animal?", they would ask, and so I invited them to watch me as I work.
That was where it all went wrong.
Clients would come in, asking to be turned into a lion, or a giraffe, or sometimes even a hippopotamus. I'd ask for a gold coin donation, and then I'd get to work. Ten minutes later, there would be a small pile of clothes on the ground and a new animal stalking the streets of Toronto.
At first, my friends were weirded out. But then they saw it - the joy that my clients got from the transformation, from the change. As a safari animal, they never had to worry about mortgage rates or pick-up lines - they just had to follow their new animal instincts, living life in a way that we humans can't even comprehend.
Inevitably, one of my friends - Tom - decided he wanted to try it. He asked me to help him leave his human life and see how he fared as a zebra. I was reluctant - no children, no friends, that was my rule - but Tom was very persuasive. He told me about the rough time he'd been having, and how seeing me work had awoken something inside of him. He offered me anything - his car, his house, his mint condition Charizard foil.
Finally, I yielded. I told him I'd transform him, but only for a gold coin donation (I can't accept anything more than that, for reasons too complex to go into here) and the promise that if he wasn't happy, he'd return.
Tom never came back.
After that, it was Gavin. Then Kevin. Allysha, Christopher, Tania, Tom (different Tom)...all of them wanted to be transformed, to abandon humanity and become safari animals.
I did it, of course. Maybe I'm just a sucker, or maybe it was the look of desperation in their eyes. Their two-dollar coins (my friends are generous) clinked into the jar, their clothes fell to the floor, and they scampered (or, in Kevin's case, flew) away, never to be seen again.
Whenever I make a new friend, I have one condition: You can ask me about my hobby, but you can never watch me work. I've lost too many friends already - I don't think I could handle losing another.
If I'm not, probably the fact that I'm not wearing pants.
-An almost fanatical devotion to the pope
-Nice red uniforms
...hang on, I'll come in again.
*I do not record a podcast with a ghost.
OR if you can work out what I write for a living. I have hidden a single clue on this profile; the first person to find it gets a character named after them!