29Tradeston, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I am Bobbu. I am not actually a man, I am 72 goldfish in a reasonably convincing man suit.

Based in Bristol, but spending Mon-Thursdays up in Glasgow for work at the moment, so looking to meet new humans.

I used to have dreadlocks, hence them appearing in several of my photos. Wised up to cultural appropriation, now I don't have them. Check your privilege, cockwombles.

I'm non-monogamous/polyamorous. If you don't know, that means I have multiple intimate and romantic relationships, with the full knowledge & consent of everyone involved. To be honest, I've become a detached from the 'polyamory' label as time has progressed - I've found the community to be really lacking in intersectionality, and terrible at dealing with its abuse and racism issues. Especially as I actually lean very heavily towards relationship anarchy, it doesn't feel like such a good fit any more.

If you don't like the fact that I share my love, my life, and my bed with multiple, incredible people, then I suggest you shit off right about now.

I prefer open, honest and straightforward communication. This can come across as confrontational and uncompromising sometimes, especially as I am unfortunately prone to impatience. They're character flaws and I'm working on them, but I do try my best to be a reasonable human being despite them. They're also partially a result of my bipolar (the impatience definitely is), but you have to work with what you get.

Usually things I don't compromise on are the big stuff; respecting people of different races and genders; not supporting bigots and abusers; being aware of and taking ownership of your privilege; that sort of stuff.

Some of the labels that can be applied to help you get a handle on me are: bipolar, pansexual, polyamorous, geek, designer, techie, sadist, atheist, artisan, intersectional feminist, writer, ethicist and anarchist.
What I’m doing with my life
For my day job I am a UX consultant. Basically, I design experiences based on user research and psychological insight, which is awesome fun; design is how my brain works.

I'm an all-round techie geek, and I love my gadgets. Also science. Because science is fucking cool. So I spend what time I can playing with gadgets and finding cool science to learn about.

I'm also a creative bugger across a lot of different media. I've made videos; written articles for a couple of magazines and published a lot on my blog; edited a polyamory website for a couple of years; done a lot of painting, sculpture and photography; I took up taxidermy a few years back, and have also worked with leather, metal, wood - all kinds of things.

I post my creativity on my website at

I love me some video games, reading and LARP whenever I get the chance. Which is not often, annoyingly; even though fantastical worlds are some of my favourite places to spend time - the people in them are much easier to deal with. I do get to listen to short fiction podcasts reasonably regularly. though. The Escape Artists selection are really good genre fiction podcasts, I can highly recommend them.

I used to drink a lot, I used to go out a lot, I used to take drugs; I used to be much more brash and blustery. These days I don't do drugs or drink as it makes my bipolar more difficult to manage. I am much more reserved and thoughtful nowadays. I do still smoke a pipe, and am still a mad bastard with a penchant for daft ideas; I just prefer chilled out ideas I can do at home.
I’m really good at
Making cool things out of whatever I have to hand. Cynicism. Procrastination. Looking like a very well dressed hobo.

Accidentally acquiring pets. I have managed to take on a number of reptiles over the years, mostly as last minute rescues or impulsive Gumtree purchases to give the wee buggers a good home. I currently have two different terrapins (Mississippi map turtle and a yellow bellied slider) a bearded dragon, a crested gecko, a corn snake, a boa constrictor, and a whites tree frog. They are my family and I loves them.
The first things people usually notice about me
My style, usually. My misanthropic dislike of humanity is strong, so I have to armour up when I go out. This armour tends to be made up of a three-piece suit, with some form of hat. Whenever it's even vaguely cold enough I also wear my greatcoat and scarf. Also I have pretty decent facial topiary going on, so that often gets compliments.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
For books, anything by Terry Pratchett, Alan Moore, H.P. Lovecraft, Kurt Vonnegut. I also love The Earthsea Quartet by Ursula LeGuin, and enjoy a lot of the fiction set in the Warhammer 40,000 universe. My favourite graphic novels/comic series include Preacher, The Authority, Watchmen, Ghost World and Transmetropolitan. Recently got into Saga, too.

When it comes to movies I like a well put together action movie, such as Mad Max: Fury Road, Pacific Rim, or Dredd. I also love indie movies with some dark depths to them - Perfect Sense, Code 42 and Franklyn to name a few of my favourite British ones. Plain old weird stuff like Bunny and the Bull or A Fantastic Fear of Everything are always good. Wes Anderson is a legend, as is Guillermo Del Toro. Basically, I like Good Movies, and have a soft spot for Fun Movies. Ask me if you aren't sure about the difference.

For TV I have similar tendencies as I do with movies. Farscape is one of my all-time favourite SF shows. Love me some Game of Thrones, and Penny Dreadful was excellent. I thoroughly enjoy a good cartoon, so Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Avatar, Archer, Venture Brothers, Rick and Morty and Code Monkeys are all great watching for me. Gravity Falls is a new watch for me, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

Music-wise my taste is best described by the Bill Hicks (yes, I know he's deeply problematic) quote 'Play from your fucking heart!' At the moment I am listening to a playlist on Spotify I created called 'Folk off, folk-face', including such bands as Show of Hands, Steeleye Span, Lindsey Stirling, 3 Daft Monkeys, and Blackbeards Tea Party. Other playlists include my comedy playlist, which consists of things like Professor Elemental, The Beards, Tim Minchin, Bil Bailey, Garfunkel and Oates and Jonathan Coulton.

Though my formative years were rock, grunge, punk and metal (especially nu-metal), so I will always enjoy a good bit of Nirvana, Korn, The Distillers, Rage Against The Machine and bands of that ilk.

I like most food, though I tend to lean towards a vegetarian diet as much as I can; try to be an ethical eater, though sometimes lack the motivation to give enough of a shit.
Six things I could never do without
Mobile phone
A good hat
Splendid lovers
Honest friends
Inventive swearing, you wankspangled fucktrumpet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
All the things I'm interested in. Haven't I been through this earlier?
On a typical Friday night I am
Honestly, I am likely at home or cuddled up with one of my partners. I might be watching TV, a movie, or creating some form of arty thing. Because I am old and boring and have partied hard for many years - I have earned my lazy weekends through an exceedingly mis-spent youth.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Anything you wish to know, ask. I'm not prone to keeping secrets - not any of my own, anyway.
You should message me if want to. Who am I to tell you what to do?
The two of us