22Falls Church, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I am a human shaped pun. I'm not saying every pun I make is genius, but I do make a lot of them and statistically, at least SOME will make you laugh.
What I’m doing with my life
Writing music, Theater when I can, School, Work to pay for that school, Writing two chapters in the book I'm working on and then deleting one of them because I don't like the way I wrote my characters.
I’m really good at
What is this america's got talent?
I can wiggle my ears
Making toast and scrambled eggs
I can microwave food without the center being cold like 80% of the time
I can walk in a straight line without falling most of the time.
(vote for me)
The first things people usually notice about me
I have really great calves, They're immaculate and look great in high heels.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Harry potter. After all this time? Always. (Ravenclaw for life)
Movies: Sky High, The Spongebob Squarepants movie, Pride and prejudice and zombies, Halloweentowns 1 and 2, Forrest Gump
Music: Mongolian throatal chanting, Jazz, Chopin's Nocturne op. 9 no. 2, Johnny Mathis, Frank Sinatra, and on my off days top 40s pop stuff.
I swear I can stay in one night watching old disney movies and the next watching a documentary on how serial killers get away with murder. I also dabble in anime and foreign films.
I can and will literally devour any book I enjoy in about 8 hours. I will stop talking to people, texts will not be replied to. Feelings will be hurt. All until the one book is completed. Favorite authors include Neil Gaiman, Charles Dickens, Orson Scott Card, Dr. Seuss.
Food is life and I don't discriminate, just no tomatoes please. Or peaches, I'll literally die.
Casual player of video games, please tell me what a plebeian I am.
Six things I could never do without
Coffee, Tea, Netflix, My car, A stable wifi connection, An unending sense of my own mortality.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If my nonsensical, sarcastic, and oftentimes flippant attitude towards life stems from how I was a child raised on television and associated humor with how life should be in general. If nurture does reign supreme over nature I am the penultimate creation of the late 90s/early 2000s cartoons that flooded tv.
Also how to make the perfect grilled cheese.
On a typical Friday night I am
Sipping wine straight from the bottle and rewatching Forrest Gump for the 5000th time because Tom Hanks is a goddamn national treasure.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm secretly really insecure I'm 1 inch away from being a full six feet tall and it keeps me awake at night sometimes.
You should message me if
You were at all interested by the ear wiggling
You like pizza
You think John Marshall is one of the greatest Supreme Court justices of all time
You listen to the chicken dance almost exclusively
You can appreciate a dude with a really manly sneeze.
If you could tell the majority of what I put here wasn't entirely serious. Except the ear wiggling thing. I can legit do it and it is a very impressive and useful life skill.
The two of us