TheNextBigChing
33 Toronto, Canada
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
TheNextBigChing
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
First off, I hope you're not disappointed at the lack of shirtless pics in front of the mirror. Just for the record, the reason I chose not to include shirtless pics is not because it’s a douchebag thing to do. Nope. The true reason is that I have no 6 pack to show off. Trust me, if I had a 6 pack, my profile would be nothing but shirtless pics. I would even have a picture of my 6 pack as my computer’s desktop wallpaper. I suppose I could take a picture of my chest and photoshop a 6 pack on, but I lack the photoshop skills to pull that off. So, if you're looking for an awesome photoshopper with a great 6 pack, you may want to click away from this profile.

Maybe I should be the first person ever to bombard my profile with nothing but me taking pictures of myself in the front of the mirror, while using the shake weight, in every single recommended infomercial position. I just may do that! Stay tuned...

Writing a profile for myself is really difficult. But, maybe my struggle to write a good profile about myself shows a lack of narcaccism, which is good, right? Though if narcaccists are your thing, you should probably click to another profile. At least know I would never cheat on you with a clone of myself.

I’m a comedy writer. Hopefully the jokes I wrote above made you laugh or at least smile. If not, then I have failed miserably at my craft. My humor is typically a mix of South Park dark comedy with the raunchy humor of Judd Apatow. I try to throw in small doses of philosophy as well.

These profiles are weird. It’s like you’re marketing yourself like a brand name. You’re creating this image of yourself and “If you click this profile and send me a message, I will enter your life and make it...AWESOME!”...with that in mind, people in marketing should be the best at writing these dating profiles...not writers. Yeah, that’s what I’ll tell myself if people think this profile is bad.

If you click on this profile, and we start getting to know each other, will your life become awesome? I don't really know how to answer that. I'll just be safe and say...maybe. Life is a long unknown path of maybes. I could be the one unnoticable speed bump, or the one to change your path completely. Okay, road metaphors aren't my thing. If you're good at road metaphors, help me out here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, It's Such a Beautiful Day, Matchstick Men, To Be or Not To Be, Pleasantville, Singin in the Rain, City of God, Finding Nemo, Punch Drunk Love, Magnolia, Hannah and her Sisters, 500 Days of Summer, Little Miss Sunshine, The Weather Man, The Savages, Before Sunrise & Before Sunset, Moonstruck, Mary & Max, The Grey, Waking Life, The Descent

Music: Jukebox the Ghost, Frank Turner, Fun, Reel Big Fish, The Format, The Straylight Run, 1997, We Are the In Crowd, I The Mighty, The Creepshow, Fake Problems, Valencia, Antarctigo Vespucci, Strung Out, Thrice, A Wilhelm Scream, Bayside, Four Year Strong, The Rocket Summer, My Chemical Romance

Shows: Six Feet Under, South Park, Frasier, Bates Motel, Veep, Rick and Morty, The Carmichael Show, Pushing Daisies, Workaholics, Curb your Enthusiasm, It's Always sunny in Philadelphia, Through the wormhole with Morgan Freeman, Freaks & Geeks, The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, Real time with Bill Maher, Superjail!, The Inbetweeners, The Office (British version), Corner Gas

Books: My Sister's Keeper, John Dies at the End, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, High Fidelity, Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity, Have a Nice day: A tale of Blood and Sweatsocks, A Study in Scarlet (first Sherlock Holmes novel), The Lovely Bones
More