Maybe I should be the first person ever to bombard my profile with nothing but me taking pictures of myself in the front of the mirror, while using the shake weight, in every single recommended infomercial position. I just may do that! Stay tuned...
Writing a profile for myself is really difficult. But, maybe my struggle to write a good profile about myself shows a lack of narcaccism, which is good, right? Though if narcaccists are your thing, you should probably click to another profile. At least know I would never cheat on you with a clone of myself.
I’m a comedy writer. Hopefully the jokes I wrote above made you laugh or at least smile. If not, then I have failed miserably at my craft. My humor is typically a mix of South Park dark comedy with the raunchy humor of Judd Apatow. I try to throw in small doses of philosophy as well.
These profiles are weird. It’s like you’re marketing yourself like a brand name. You’re creating this image of yourself and “If you click this profile and send me a message, I will enter your life and make it...AWESOME!”...with that in mind, people in marketing should be the best at writing these dating profiles...not writers. Yeah, that’s what I’ll tell myself if people think this profile is bad.
If you click on this profile, and we start getting to know each other, will your life become awesome? I don't really know how to answer that. I'll just be safe and say...maybe. Life is a long unknown path of maybes. I could be the one unnoticable speed bump, or the one to change your path completely. Okay, road metaphors aren't my thing. If you're good at road metaphors, help me out here.
Music: Jukebox the Ghost, Frank Turner, Fun, Reel Big Fish, The Format, The Straylight Run, 1997, We Are the In Crowd, I The Mighty, The Creepshow, Fake Problems, Valencia, Antarctigo Vespucci, Strung Out, Thrice, A Wilhelm Scream, Bayside, Four Year Strong, The Rocket Summer, My Chemical Romance
Shows: Six Feet Under, South Park, Frasier, Bates Motel, Veep, Rick and Morty, The Carmichael Show, Pushing Daisies, Workaholics, Curb your Enthusiasm, It's Always sunny in Philadelphia, Through the wormhole with Morgan Freeman, Freaks & Geeks, The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, Real time with Bill Maher, Superjail!, The Inbetweeners, The Office (British version), Corner Gas
Books: My Sister's Keeper, John Dies at the End, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, High Fidelity, Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity, Have a Nice day: A tale of Blood and Sweatsocks, A Study in Scarlet (first Sherlock Holmes novel), The Lovely Bones