Leftie Liberal douche with an acquired taste for music that is sonically unacceptable to most healthy - minded individuals. I'm also known to occasionally perform these aural violations for the amusement of 5 perpetually cross-armed pub regulars in venues that smell of ill-aimed urine and male sweat glands.
I have dreams of a vagabond lifestyle. Now that some aspects of my life have improved I plan on travelling various areas of Europe over the next few years. If the idea of being in strange lands with a yeti-looking motherfucker like me has an appeal to you, you could be onto something.
If you aren't immediately repulsed by my tiny eyes and the Humber bridge that is my schnoz, whey! You're on the highway to the danger zone.
I also enjoy the comic workings of Stewart Lee, George Carlin, Doug Stanhope, Richard Herring, Bill Bailey, Reginald D Hunter et al. As well as the comedy writings of Chris Morris and Armando Ianucci.
These things are hard work you know. Being interesting is a difficult art.
It's not like I can make a living playing a fucking guitar eh?
Nothing much else really.
Oh, Mackenzie Crook has let himself go.
Oh, the ensemble cast of Vikings have let themselves go.
I'm going to be straight with you here. I'm a late comer to the world of printed fiction. Spending years being a slave to the more easily digestible media of games, TV, movies etc.
But in the last few months i've been making a change and I have started to make reading a regular thing. So recently, I have read:
Brave New World
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Catcher in the Rye
Johnny Got His Gun
The Sprawl Trilogy
Heart of Darkness
The Truman Show
Ghost in the Shell
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Scent of a Woman
The People vs. Larry Flynt
Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence
Anything generally related to Chris Morris or Armando Iannucci
Stand Alone Complex
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
Mostly that Devil music. Or when i'm angry just play anything with Lisa Gerrard's voice on it.
You may also ridicule my musical taste here: http://www.last.fm/user/The_Noonster
Hairbands. Nothing worse than eating chips with a side-dressing of your own hair.
Fine mature cheddar.
The smooth voice of Matt Berry.
Reddit on my phone.
The sixth answer in the six things I could never do without.
And about how great it would be if Richard Littlejohn and anyone who associates with either the Daily Mail or the Sun could comedown with some kind of degenerative disease.
And why I can't be this eloquent in person.
Or interrupting a netflix marathon because i'll more-than-likely be up early for work on Saturday morning.
Whichever one you find most interesting and/or comforting.
Oh, and don't be a UKIP/Tory voting, right-wing douche-canoe. This is quite important.