The_ArchNerd
34 Washington, United States
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The_ArchNerd
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My self-summary
Teacher, event planner, occasional actor (stage and film), writer/producer/director, one-time stunt zombie, full-time raconteur.

Professionally, I work with people from every corner of the globe (and have visited a few of those corners, including teaching joints in Afghanistan, Peru, and Russia, and touristy castle-gawking in Belgium, Wales, and India) and am endlessly interested in culture, history and language. The relationships I've formed with people all over the world, and the perspective they have given me, have played a huge part in making me the person I am. I won't always be doing what I'm doing, but I suspect I'll always have an international, cross-cultural focus.

I spent the night of the election watching returns come in live with a friend in Tajikistan. Spent the next week chatting nonstop with people from absolutely everywhere, who don't know any other Americans to ask their questions to. That was fun.

Meanwhile, I am also capable of expounding vehemently, and at surprising length, about voice actors in Batman cartoons (Kevin Conroy or death). It's not ALWAYS a Tolstoy novel with me, I promise!

My ideal arrangement is one where there's really no such thing as a typical day, which is the situation I currently enjoy.

I believe the foundation of a romantic connection is a great friendship, so I'm looking for a teammate and adventure partner, with a cosmopolitan outlook, voracious intellect, and a desert-dry sense of humor.
What I’m doing with my life
I work with international students and professionals, teaching them (and sometimes their children) high-level English and whatever other sage wisdom I think they might find useful for living and working in America, or with American counterparts in their fields. Basically I'm a freelance know-it-all for hire.

I'm also a senior programming department head for a giant annual nerd party called MAGFest (the Music and Gaming Festival). We have 20,000 people descend on a convention center in National Harbor, MD every January to spend four straight days playing games, listening to music, and generally boogeying down. It's a hoot.

Meanwhile, I train and occasionally write and perform with, or act as producer or director for, a local community of stunt performers. It's an awesome group of martial artists, gymnasts, dancers and actors, who get together to trade skills and work on projects. I've also picked up some of the very (very very) basics of stage and screen combat and I can perform dialogue rather well, so that's fun. By the way, I wasn't kidding about that stunt zombie thing - there's an episode of an indie webseries called "The Roommate", in which, at one point, I'm at center-screen taking a hatchet to the face from the female lead. Good times.

I'm a committee chair for the DC Sakura Matsuri (the big Cherry Blossom Festival), and work as a stage manager for one of the main concert stages on the day of the event. Japan is incredible, and this is how I get to learn about it for free.

Hmm... what else? I dunno, always reading something, learning something... I think minds are like sharks: they have to keep moving or they die, you know?

Oh, and I'm learning Russian with a wonderful teacher in St. Petersburg whom I skype with about six hours a week (she teaches English for her day job, so I help her out with that in exchange). Haven't been at it very long but certain things are beginning to get easier, which is an encouraging sign.

I'm kind of in a phase where I'm reaching out and trying lots of new things (and hopefully meeting new people). I don't have any trouble going after the things I want in life, but the last few years have left me reconsidering what that is, exactly.
I’m really good at
Many things. A friend once described me as a "jack of all trades and master of most." That said, there are areas of striking, hilarious, childlike deficiency - I'm the classic absent-minded professor.

Also, the time I was a stunt zombie. The makeup artist said I was particularly good at handling elaborate prosthetics (all those years watching Star Trek as a kid, I guess) and really went to town on my zombification. The results are terrifying, if I do say so myself. Anyway, I'm not sure this is the sort of thing that belongs in this section, but for what it's worth, I have it on good authority that I tolerate the special stage eye-blood better than many. So if that turns your crank, look no further.

Once when I was leading a group of Russian students on a tour of DC - the kind of thing I like to do as often as possible - I was busy explaining some statue or other, when one of the girls turned to me with those big beautiful Russian eyes and exclaimed, "You speak delicious!" In case you're wondering, this is what I want on my tombstone, but I bring it up mainly to illustrate that my speaking skills apparently go over well, at least with some audiences...

I'm interested in just about everything under the sun, because it's all connected. This means I learn and remember things pretty easily, and synthesize ideas in ways that people seem to find interesting. I've actually been told by several friends that listening to me talk about nerd stuff is therapeutic for them; it's not uncommon for me to get a phone call along the lines of, "I'm depressed. Tell me something about history?" My favorite of these was the time a friend randomly called me in the middle of the afternoon and asked me to explain the origin of the Armenian alphabet.

Relatedly, the most fun I've ever had was my experience in radio. For three years, back in high school, my best friend and I did a weekly drivetime show on a local FM station. It was an absolute blast from beginning to end and we were shockingly successful. My prom date was the winner of a call-in contest. We sold t-shirts around the school and boosted the station's operating budget by over 10%. We were - dare I say it - popular.

(then it was off to college and everything went to crap)
The first things people usually notice about me
Generally speaking, probably the fact that I laugh like a supervillain. Once, I had a cold that somehow disabled the lower registers of my voice; consequently I was in full-on Joker mode for an entire weekend. The illness was miserable but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss that part...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Oh, everydamnthing. I never stop. The nice thing about this is that I'm completely impervious to boredom. Metro delays, plane flights, long waits for tardy clients, you name it; I generally don't even bother bringing a book anymore. It's stupendous. The flipside, of course, is that it never. sits. still. This makes ordinary mundane activities of daily life surprisingly difficult. Again, think absent-minded professor.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I included "short-term dating" on the list of things I'm looking for below, just for searchability's sake, but honest to God, I have no earthly idea what it means.
You should message me if
For what it's worth, there is a dizzying array of traits I find attractive, but very few particular musts. By far the most indispensable quality is a razor-sharp sense of humor.

Similarly, I should emphasize that if you are very, very smart, and/or knowledgeable about subjects where I'm not, and eager to share, these are good things. Smart women often tell me that the men they meet seem to be put off by this quality, but this is one fault from which I do not suffer. Go ahead and knock my socks off.

With this in mind, message me if you are intrigued, morbidly curious, or otherwise inspired to further investigate the wonder and mystery that is me.
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