I won't grow up,
I don't want to wear a tie
and a serious expression
In the middle of July
and If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree.
I'll never grow up, not me.
Well, how do you shove a whole human being into this tiny space? Well, I’m not average by any means, and most likely not even your type. (But please keep reading, I mean I did go through the trouble of writing this novella of a profile.)
According to OkC, I'm apparently some sex crazed nut job, and I do consider myself sexually liberated, but I do desire actual genuine connections on the spiritual, mental and physical planes, I've never had all three, but I'd like to.
I believe every individual has the right to define their own existence, as I believe we are all just nerves in an all encompassing collective consciousness of the universe that is in essence just experiencing ourselves, and I want to make as many connections and gather as many experiences as I can in this manifestation of existence.
Overall, I'm trying to float down-stream in the tides of this cosmic ocean.
I believe life is prefect in its imperfection
I've been told my profile is "to verbose" and my attempt to make it shorter just ended up making it longer...so fuck it. Who wants to attract that type anyways? I think my last summary I made myself sound like I take myself too seriously, and even in this one I still feel portrays me as "woah, deep man" but in “reality” (or whatever you want to call this somewhat mutually shared delusion of perception.) I don’t take myself or anything else for that matter very seriously. I mean how can anyone take themselves seriously anyways? We're just made of meat after all. I think life is just a joke and I’m living from toke to toke. I’ve become bored of possessions, so instead I’ve become a collector of memories I go where the wind takes me or my desires lead me.
I have found that life's only certainty is uncertainty.
I believe tomorrow and yesterday are just concepts and there is only now.
I consider myself a hedonist and I am not afraid to enjoy life. I exist to drink, get stoned, fuck, and laugh while trying forget about the bleakness in which we surrounded by as a species.
I enjoy the simple things in life. The sound of the rain on a cool fall evening, listening to the waves crash against the beach, and being in the presence of the people in my life just for the sake of doing so.
I am an extreme person. My personality is hard to describe besides random. I often feel there is more than one of me trapped inside the personal universe I call my brain. I’m a quiet loudmouth, the world’s most intelligent idiot, the narcissist with crippling low self-esteem…you get the idea.
I am a lover of endlessly and pointlessly pondering philosophy , trying to futilely understand the insanely paradoxical nature of quantum physics, failing utterly at understanding human psychology and most of the time just trying to figure out how make a better brisket.
I bore easily and I love mischief, paradox and mayhem to easy the tediousness that our overly comfortable society drowns us in.
I'm obsessed with Human behavior and have always felt like I was more like Dian Fossey cohabiting amongst the gorillas than an actual member of society. I'm the type of guy that will purposely exit through the turn style someone is about to enter just to see their reaction...or better yet quickly making jarring eye contact with someone on the train who I've caught staring at me from the corner of my eye, as the subsequent eye ping pong that results from this has never ceased to amuse me even after 20 plus years of subway riding.
I’m a libertine, I fold to my desires more than a slightly retarded ( Yes, retarded. Fuck political correctness in it's gaping asshole, thanks.) poker player does to card sharks.
I believe there is more to reality then our limited biological human senses (and our current sciences) can accurately observe.
Also, if your interested strangely enough still at this point proceed with knowledge of the following as I'd hate to miss lead anyone at this stage in the game (There will be plenty of time for that later. )
I'm an Egalitarian. Who is in-tune with and in control of my own primal nature.
I identify myself as polyamorous. (Which, according to science. Is just plain old human nature. I just choose to be honest and open about it. ) However, I am seeking a primary partner. (Who, ideally would also be poly and open to unconventional sexuality) There is no room for negotiation on this. I will not tell you what to do with with your genitals and I expect you do the same. (Unless it's in the context of "Stick X in Y!" or whatever, you get my gist.)
I'm also ultra sex positive (no slut-shaming here) and am strongly (Well when I find time for it anyways. ) into kink .
You accept me as I am or click the X in the right corner of your browser. Left, if your one of those Mac users that still hasn't realized they are awful yet.
I believe that life is the grandest masquerade.
We are merely its ephemeral dancers.
None of us can really comprehend its origins and nor can we grasp at its end.
Yet still we dance onwards steadily swaying and pivoting to its ever transmuting song.
To the great song we absent-mindedly cavort to our own inevitable demise.
It's enchanting melody forces us to dance, change our costumes and layer our masks to match its ethereal tones.
Maybe we will catch each other’s eye on the floor of this cosmic ball.
Just maybe we will stop for just a second to pull our masks down and catch a glimpse of each others true faces.
Or maybe we will just waltz on by and briefly dream of what could have been...
Besides that I'm living it...or wasting it depending on your perspective. I try to enjoy life as much as possible during my limited stint on this rotating ball of rock.
I am up for it, all the time.
That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact.
I put it round you know.
And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it.
It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats."
~The Libertine opening monologue John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester
I'm also very good at assembling Ikea furniture. The combination of the former and a latter always make for an interesting evening.
That I am the whitest man on the planet.
No, seriously, I've never needed reflective tape to be seen in the dark even during my "goth" years.
I look like a 15th century nobleman.
I have really great bone structure, and striking eyes that change from blue to green depending on mood.
My ever-changing hair length and facial hair.
You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today."
~Alan Watts: The Dream of Life
There is a lot more six things I could never do without.
I would think that air, water, and food should take up half of everyone's list.
(unless certain types of bacteria have gained the ability to make OkCupid profiles, and from what I've heard from the female OkC userbase I believe that maybe the case.)
The amount of thought and time I've put into messages I've sent out to prospective mates that have been tossed into the great OkC blackhole of rejection. (The worst of which are the conversations that weren't even initiated by me! Seriously, I don't understand this, why are you wasting my time?)
Then being aware that I'm self-aware.
Then being aware about being aware about being self-aware. Then being awa...( Ok, sorry, I'll stop...)
That I don't belong in this time period.
The shape and true nature of the cosmos.
Finding meaning in my own existence.
The human condition.
When that "male privilege" that was beaten into my psyche since I was a boy is suppose to kick in...any day now...Now? Still nothing. All I can think of is "Peeing standing up" but that's more of a biological advantage rather than a privilege and totally made null and void by the SheWee anyways (Go ahead Google it.)
That there is no way in hell I am "More Sex-Driven" than the majority of OkCupids straight male population. In reality that bar should read "More honest in answering his questions" I've seen the messages most of these dudes send out, and for fucks sake even I've been creeped on by them. Just look at those guys down in the lower right corner! Shame on you guys! Similar users my ass!
Wondering why the outworld song from Super Mario Bro's 2 is consistently stuck in my head after all these long years.
Also, I have no idea why I think this, but I believe when I bite the big one, I'm going to hear the Mr. Softie theme.
All of the remaining brain power is devoted to the acquisition of pleasure.
but I'm most likely hot gluing googly eyes to spray painted chicken bones for some prop I'm making for my show…what I can say I'm an odd guy.
When I was younger my fears were rooted in the inevitable end of my life.
Now they manifest themselves in thoughts of doubt and uncertainty that I will actually get to live my life at all.
( I like to put a good amount of mental energy into replying to new people, and this does nothing but drive me crazier than I already obviously am.)
When you were a little girl your panties got wetter for Gaston then they did the prince. Or even better the beast.
You believe in actual gender equality and have never used the phrase "Well that's the man's job" or "You want to buy me X,Y,Z"