Thistlebee
30 Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Thistlebee
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
NOTICE: For your browsing convenience, I've added a TL;DR to the bottom of my lengthier sections. So scroll down if you're impatient!

Hello! I'm Thistlebee! I am a thirty-year-old Californian human! I'm a gamer and a geek. I love craft beer and humor. I've never been the most social individual, but then I discovered POLYAMORY. As it turns out, dating and partnerships are absolutely my jam. So here I am!

In the last six or so years, I've become very aware of my privilege as a cis-gendered, heterosexual white man. It's radically shifted my perspective of, well, EVERYTHING, and in particular how I view my own male gamer demographic and the unfulfilled entitlement that spawns much of our resentment and insensitivity. Overcoming that was (and still is) a challenge, and one I am happy to meet. Boy howdy.

I'm in excellent committed relationships with foulowl and Loki-d, who are both awesome and lovely and supportive in their unique ways. And they don't put up with my sass for very long, which is also fine, I GUESS.

TL;DR: I'm a sometimes-awkward, thirty-year-old, polyamorous, Bay Area gamer dork.
What I’m doing with my life
Testing games for a living, sipping craft beer for fun, and chilling with my partners. Trying to get back into my homebaking and homebrewing hobbies, but the going is slow. Just started up blacksmithing again. I'd only ever taken intro classes before, but I'm still raring to hit hot metal with cold metal until it is metal.
I’m really good at
Finding misplaced objects, baking bread (though it's less "really good" and more "not terrible"), self-mockery, proofreading, carrying groceries, and cat-wrestling.
The first things people usually notice about me
People have commented on my eyes, my vocabulary (oh my, it's so big), the sometimes-odd way I emote, my accent (California-raised, but I can stretch my vowels weirdly), and my rings. I like rings. They are... precious to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Disclaimer: These aren't necessarily my favorites, but they spring to mind.

Authors: N. K. Jemisin (The Inheritance trilogy), Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy), Terry Pratchett (Good Omens), China Miéville (Perdido Street Station), Octavia Butler (Fledgling), Alan Moore (Top Ten), and Neil Gaiman (Anansi Boys).

Movies: Most things Pixar, Lord of the Rings (I prefer the movies to the books), Brick, The VVitch, Princess Mononoke, Alien, The Prestige, Pan's Labyrinth, Star Wars: Episodes IV through VII, the Fifth Element, and Die Hard.

Shows: Jane the Virgin, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Brooklyn 99, Steven Universe, Bob's Burgers, Adventure Time, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Cowboy Bebop, Buffy (though I'm cooling on Joss Whedon), Luther, X Files, Clone High, and the Wire (which may be the most perfect television I've seen).

Music: Most of my music collection is gaming soundtracks, remixes, and chiptunes. Exceptions include Johnny Cash, Daftpunk, Nicki Minaj, and Beyoncé (there is a time and a place for "Blow" to get stuck in your head, and 2:00 PM in the office is NOT it).

Food: Burgers and bread are passions for me, and I can speak at length about both. Sandwiches of any kind are high in my esteem. I love Mexican, too (like any good Californian boy). Korean food is fucking amazing. There's an Off The Grid market near my work three times a week; my favorite trucks are KoJa Kitchen, Mayo and Mustard, and Fins on the Hoof.

Beer: Stouts and IPAs are my favorites, with all manner of Belgian ales close behind. I'm also starting to like sours. The only styles of beer I come close to disliking outright are most types of lagers, and that's just because I'd rather have an ale. In terms of brewers, I like Cascade, Dogfish Head, Lagunitas, Green Flash, Ballast Point, North Coast, Stone, Allagash, and Goose Island (begrudgingly, since Anheuser-Busch owns them). Also, I have a "cellar" set up in my closet. Lemme tell ya, aging beer is VERY difficult. It just keeps disappearing (because I can't stop drinking it).

Video Games: Overwatch, SOMA, Mass Effect, Dark Souls, Hearthstone, Binding of Isaac, Nuclear Throne, Spelunky, Fallout, Half-Life, Team Fortress 2, Portal, Super Meat Boy, and why the hell not, Final Fantasy VII.

TL;DR: I don't think this applies as much here, but here goes. Sci-fi and fantasy, gaming music, burgers and craft beer, and first-person shooters and indie games.
The six things I could never do without
1. Entertainment: From games to sci-fi/fantasy novels to sex, having fun is serious business for me.

2. Yeast: In order of priority, beer, bread and kimchi are some of my favorite things to put in my body. Fermentation for the win.

3. Fresh Food, Good Cooking: Avocados, burgers, expensive cheeses, my mom's pie. The application of effort and expertise to well-grown, well-raised organic matter.

4. Information: Namely teh interwebs. And I don't always pay attention to everything, but dammit, I at least want access to knowledge.

5. Rules: Sounds odd, but here's my take: they make language function, they make games enjoyable, and they make sex consensual and fun. Even Calvinball has rules.

6. Companionship: From my partners to my pets. I need the satisfaction and contentment that comes from understanding and being understood by another living thing.

TL;DR: Fun, fermentation, food, facts, fiats, friendship. Okay, "fiats" is a bit of a stretch for "rules," but I was on an alliteration roll.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
In no particular order: wordplay, sex, social justice, dogs, and beer.
On a typical Friday night I am
Because ANXIETY, I default to staying in to play video games, drink beer, and watch movies. Thrilling, yes? I do enjoy going out for libations, though! Particularly when it is with awesome prospective partners!

(That means you.)

Crowds of hot young people bother me, so I don't leave my apartment during First Friday / Art Murmur. No exceptions.

...Okay well maybe I'll make an exception.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The serious answer is that I suffer from social anxiety, which turns most interactions with other humans into spiraling analyses of power dynamics, motivation, phrasing, tone, body language, and context. It's by no means debilitating, though, and I've discovered that dating doesn't activate it as much as other social situations.

The less serious answer is that I recently spent a rather enjoyable night (well more like twenty minutes) looking through pizza menus and creating a spreadsheet to first determine and then compare the value differences (in terms of square inches per dollar) of the various pizza places in my area. Needless to say, I then ordered a pizza. A valuable pizza.
You should message me if
I can be pretty terrible at making first contact (though it's something at which I'm continuously getting better). Sometimes a particular profile may part the heavens and channel divine inspiration into a message text entry field, but often I click the "Like" button as a bookmark and resolve to come back later.

That said, you should message me if:

- You understand and are down with my emotional commitment to all of my partners.
- You find me attractive and want to determine if I'm worth your time.
- You want to talk about or play video games, talk about or drink beer, or talk about or eat food.
- You are capable of eventually hosting should things between us get to That Point; my apartment is currently unavailable (though that is a situation I seek to resolve).

Bonus points if you're experienced with open relationships and the EXCELLENT written and verbal communication skills navigating them requires.

Also, bonus points if you have short hair. But, um, if you have long hair, you still get bonus points. Bonus points for everyone!

(I'm attracted to people with short hair but most definitely am not un-attracted to people with long hair. It's your hair, you're an adult, you can do whatever you want.)

TL;DR: WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED HUMAN INTERACTION?
More