31 Oakland, United States
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My self-summary
NOTICE: For your browsing convenience, I've added a TL;DR to the bottom of my lengthier sections. So scroll down if you're impatient!

Hello! I'm Thistlebee! I'm an early-thirties Californian human! I'm polyamorous, I'm nerdy, I'm quirky, I strive to be aware of and check my privilege, and I use humor to hide the chasm of ennui and pathos that yawns beneath my soul.

I've struggled with social anxiety for much of my life, but then:

1) I got into acting for a hot minute (read: high school and college), which improved my ability to [CONVERSE] and also [EMOTE], so I think I do a good job at actually communicating my thoughts and feelings.

2) I became non-monogamous in 2012 and started dating brand spanking new people, and as it turns out, romantic interactions are totally and completely my jam, while casual platonic interactions remain a game of Twister with the literal devil flicking the spinner over and over and over and...

I'm in excellent committed relationships with foulowl and Loki-d, who are both awesome and lovely and supportive in their unique ways. And they don't put up with my sass for very long, which is also fine, I guess.

TL;DR: I'm a sometimes-awkward, thirty-year-old, polyamorous, Bay Area gamer dork.
What I’m doing with my life
Testing games for a living, sipping craft beer for fun, and chilling with my partners. Trying to get back into my homebaking and homebrewing hobbies, but the going is slow. Just started up blacksmithing again. I'd only ever taken intro classes before, but I'm still raring to hit hot metal with cold metal until it is a different shape of metal.
I’m really good at
Finding misplaced objects, baking bread (though it's less "really good" and more "not terrible"), self-mockery, proofreading, carrying groceries, and cat-wrestling.
The first things people usually notice about me
People have commented on the following:

- My eyes.
- The sometimes-odd way I emote.
- My accent (California-raised, but I can stretch my vowels weirdly at times).
- My rings. I like rings. They are precious to me.
- My tattoos.
- My vocabulary ("oh my, it's so big").
(...Also "oh my, it's so weird.")
(...And "oh my, it's unnecessarily complicated.")
(...I should probably distance myself from this penis joke.)

Also, a quote from a friend.

"You look really kind. Like, after all the tiredness and irritation and despair, you come across as a really kind person."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Disclaimer: These aren't necessarily my favorites, but they spring to mind.

Authors: N. K. Jemisin (The Inheritance trilogy), Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy), Octavia Butler (Fledgling), Terry Pratchett (Good Omens), China Miéville (Perdido Street Station), Alan Moore (Top Ten), and Neil Gaiman (Anansi Boys).

Movies: Most things Pixar, Fury Road, Lord of the Rings (I prefer the movies to the books because OMG ACTUAL PACING), Brick, The VVitch, Princess Mononoke, Alien, The Prestige, Pan's Labyrinth, Star Wars: Episodes IV through VII, the Fifth Element, and Die Hard.

Shows: Stranger Things, Jessica Jones, Jane the Virgin, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Brooklyn 99, Steven Universe, Bob's Burgers, Adventure Time, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Cowboy Bebop, Buffy (though I'm cooling on Joss Whedon), Luther, X Files, Clone High, and the Wire.

Music: Most of my music collection is gaming soundtracks, remixes, and chiptunes. Exceptions include Johnny Cash, Daftpunk, Nicki Minaj, and Beyoncé (there is a time and a place for "Blow" to get stuck in your head, and 2:00 PM in the office is NOT it).

Food: Burgers and bread are passions for me, and I can speak at length about both. Sandwiches of any kind are high in my esteem. I love Mexican, too (like any good Californian boy). Korean food is fucking amazing.

Beer: Stouts and IPAs are my favorites, with all manner of Belgian ales close behind. I'm also starting to like sours. The only styles of beer I come close to disliking outright are most types of lagers, and that's just because I'd rather have an ale. In terms of brewers, I like Cellarmaker, Cascade, Dogfish Head, Lagunitas, Green Flash, Ballast Point, North Coast, Stone, Allagash, and Goose Island (begrudgingly, since Anheuser-Busch owns them). Also, I have a "cellar" set up in my closet. Lemme tell ya, aging beer is VERY difficult. It just keeps disappearing on me.

Video Games: Overwatch, SOMA, Mass Effect, Dark Souls, Hearthstone, Binding of Isaac, Nuclear Throne, Spelunky, Fallout, Half-Life, Team Fortress 2, Portal, Super Meat Boy, and why the hell not, Final Fantasy VII.

TL;DR: I don't think this applies as much here, but here goes. Sci-fi and fantasy, gaming soundtracks, burgers and craft beer, and first-person shooters and indie games.
The six things I could never do without
1. Entertainment: From games to sci-fi/fantasy novels to sex, having fun is serious business for me.

2. Yeast: In order of priority, beer, bread and kimchi are some of my favorite things to put in my body. Fermentation for the win.

3. Fresh Food, Good Cooking: Avocados, burgers, expensive cheeses, my mom's pie. The application of effort and expertise to well-grown, well-raised organic matter.

4. Information: Namely teh interwebs. And I don't always pay attention to everything, but dammit, I at least want access to knowledge.

5. Rules: Sounds odd, but here's my take: they make language function, they make games enjoyable, and they make sex consensual and fun. Even Calvinball has rules.

(Also, importantly, I mean "rules" and not "laws." The former are structures of action/reaction, and the latter are legislative tools that reflect the political environment, which is now and has always been kinda fucked.)

6. Companionship: From my partners to my pets. I need the satisfaction and contentment that comes from understanding and being understood by other living things.

TL;DR: Fun, fermentation, food, facts, fiats, friendship. Okay, "fiats" is a bit of a stretch for "rules," but I was on an alliteration roll.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
In no particular order:

Wordplay: Humor is the lifeblood of my interactions with other people. I want them to be happy, which then makes me happy, which hopefully makes them happy, and yes, hooray for positive feedback loops.

Social Justice: Usually in the form of reading articles, constructing mental arguments, and listening to my partners and friends.

Dogs: When I see a dog, I want that dog, and I think about dogs and how much I want them. Dogs.

Beer: I follow a number of breweries on social media and I try to keep abreast of brewing trends and technology. I'm also studying to become a certified beer judge!

Sex: Dunno if this needs describing, I figure it'll come up in conversation when it's relevant.
On a typical Friday night I am
Because ANXIETY, I default to staying in to play video games, drink beer, and watch movies. Thrilling, yes? I do enjoy going out for libations, though! Particularly when it is with awesome prospective partners!

(That means you.)

Crowds of hot young people bother me, so I don't leave my apartment during First Friday / Art Murmur. No exceptions. Unless I'm asked nicely. Or bribed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was very young, I stole a unit of paper currency from my mother's wallet during my sister's softball game so I could buy candy at the snack bar. This was before I'd learned to read numbers, but I did know money could be exchanged for goods and services. It turned out to be a twenty, and I was so shocked at the amount of change I received that I hid it in a coffee mug on the top shelf for a month.

Eventually, my guilt overcame me and I tearfully confessed to my mom. Being the badass that she is, she turned it around and called it an advance on the chores I was going to start doing. So I learned math, finances, and work ethic, all because I wanted some illicit Skittles.

...Also, have you heard of my hot new punk band, "The Illicit Skittles"?
You should message me if
I can be pretty terrible at making first contact (though it's a skill at which I'm continuously getting better). Sometimes a particular profile may part the heavens and channel divine inspiration into a message text entry field, but often I click the "Like" button as a bookmark and resolve to come back later.

That said, you should message me if:

- You understand and are down with my commitment to all of my partners.
- You find me attractive and want to determine if I'm worth your time.
- You want to talk about or play video games, talk about or drink beer, or talk about or eat food.
- You are capable of eventually hosting should things between us get to That Point; my apartment is currently unavailable due to ~*~logistics~*~.

Bonus points if you're experienced with open relationships and the EXCELLENT written and verbal communication skills navigating them requires.

Also, bonus points if you have short hair. But, um, if you have long hair, you still get bonus points. Bonus points for everyone!

(To explain: I'm pretty darn attracted to people with short hair, but I'm most definitely not un-attracted to people with long hair. It's your hair, it's your body, it's your aesthetic, you can do whatever you want.)

Also also, I have an unopened copy of Risk: Legacy that needs more players before I'm gonna commit to opening it. So I don't want to outright say that dating me has a gaming-based incentive, BUT dating me has a gaming-based incentive.