I am a work in progress, as is this profile....
If You Don't Stop That
- a favorite from Hafiz
I used to live in
A cramped house with confusion
But then I met the Friend
And started getting drunk
And singing all
Confusion and pain
Started acting nasty,
With talk like this,
"If you don't stop 'that'--
All that fun--
I am tall, red-brown haired, blue eyed, sometimes red-bearded, usually clean-shaven, massively mutton-chopped of late, professional, Pagan, poly, pervy, well read, college educated. I am a cook (not a chef, as I don't usually create menus or recipes, but a damn fine cook and/or sous chef, as I have much technique and can often tell whether an herb or spice is lacking or will spoil what we're preparing), seamster (again, not a tailor, as I don't create patterns nor modify things well, but I can run a sewing machine or needle-and-thread just fine), walker, gardener, camper, equestrian, actor, drummer, dancer, singer. Experienced with silk and leather; ice and wax; fire and water; soft and hard; heavy and light.
Curmudgeonly and misanthropic at times, my friends know there are few better to have in their corner when the chips are down.
I am polyamorous by nature, currently involved in no serious relationships (though there are a few long-distance and/or local-but-infrequent playmates on my dance card), but usually with two or more regular locals of varying intensity and commitment, all of whom always know about each other, and who would know about you (and about whom you would know as much as you chose). Flirting with many, as always, with some interest in, but not solely focused on, taking these further. Useful books if you're curious about this are Love Without Limits -- The Search for Sustainable Relationships (now in its second edition, retitled Polyamory : The New Love Without Limits) and The Ethical Slut.
I hope to find more people who are interested in exploring the potentials of their bodies, minds, and spirits, through sensation, conversation, sex, ecstatic experiences, and more, whether as friends or otherwise.
I'm generally not looking for one-night-stands, though the occasional purely hormone-driven romp is wonderful, and if that is how we click, I'm not dead-set against it. I much prefer to find long-term friends and playmates, which may or may not include "romance" or "sex" in the traditional senses. I've been a few years without a "primary" partner, and I'd really like to find my "home"/lifemate/whatever -- but I'm more interested in exploring out where each relationship fits naturally, whether that's friends, lovers, playmates or otherwise, than in forcing any connection or relationship into a pre-defined shape.
I am a Witch in the Glainn Sidhr Order, and help facilitate the goings-on of EarthSpirit. For the past several years, my most visible and demanding role has been as a staff department head for Rites of Spring, our annual May gathering of about 500 like-minded folks for song, story, ritual, and celebration. 2015 will be my 27th year, and EarthSpirit's 37th Rites of Spring.
I'm about 90% Top and 10% Switch, if that question matters to you. My favorite toy is the mind, and my favorite ways to play are through stimulation and sensation, neither of which necessarily mean "pain" or "pleasure"...
Bottom line, I try to practice ethical hedonism.
Once upon a time, OkC asked for three adjectives; mine were charming, wyrd, and inscrutable.
- + Being the change I want to see in the world -- we are the
cool kids; where we are is where the party is; and we make a
difference with everything we do.
- + Searching for more people who think and feel vaguely
like I do
- + Working on next-generation Web 3.0/Linked Data/Semantic
Web/Data Portability-enabling database and data access
technologies (can you imagine, joining a new social networking site
and simply (and selectively) importing your profile and connection
information from Twitter and/or GOOG+ and/or Facebook and/or
LinkedIn -- rather than re-entering everything and searching for
friends over and over again?)
- + Building community with other Pagans, drummers,
dancers, singers, musicians, dreamers ... in part
by helping EarthSpirit to plan, organize, and otherwise bring
to life multi-day gatherings (Rites of Spring, Twilight
Covening, others) for 100-500 people and 2-3 hour public rituals
for 25-100 participants; by performing and recording with
MotherTongue; by building labyrinths, stone circles, peace
cairns, and other monuments to magic...
- + Having spent a few years exploring the art of living alone in
a small but reasonably luxurious condo, I concluded I need more
human contact by default, and returned to living with others. I now
share a fabulous 3-story Victorian-esque single-family near
Wellington Circle, Medford, MA, with 3 compatibly crazy people
(and currently 1 small and well-behaved Basenji–Chihuahua cross).
(We will probably be looking to fill a vacancy in early-to-mid
2015; ping me if you've any interest in such!)
- + Over the years, I've been a paperboy; a grocery bagger; a
dental receptionist; a college dropout; a radio DJ; a radio
newscaster; a babysitter; a camp counselor; a college graduate;
director of accounts receivable & systems coordinator for a
small publishing company; document processor for an
architecture/engineering firm; administrative assistant for a
corporate reengineering project; IT guru for a medical-technology
venture capital firm; technology evangelist for a database &
data access company; a graphic designer; a desktop publisher; a
tinkerer/handyman; a Pewter merchant (Fellowship Foundry), a Bud
Stud, and a Wings merchant at King Richard's, the local Renn Faire;
and likely some things I've forgotten....
- + making good first impressions
- + wasting time
- + eating sushi
- + translating concepts from one discipline (computer tech, most
often) to another (medicine, politics, architecture) and back
- + attracting children and animals
- + intuitive massage and energetic healing
- + making computers behave better, sometimes just by standing
- + getting myself in trouble with the people with whom I'd most
prefer not to be in trouble
- + playing 3-D Tetris to fit far too much stuff into moving vans
and too-small living spaces
- + being a repository of useless trivia
- + finding obscure information on the Internet, and in
traditional research materials
- + overusing ellipses...
Another of my favorites from Hafiz --
These Beautiful Love Games
Young lovers wisely say,
"Let's try it from this angle,
Maybe something marvelous will happen,
Maybe three suns and two moons
Will roll out
From a hiding place in the body
Our passion has yet to ignite."
Old lovers say,
"We can do it one more time,
How about from this longitude
And latitude -
Swinging from a rope tied to the ceiling,
Maybe a part of God
Is still hiding in a corner of your heart
Our devotion has yet to reveal."
Do not stop playing
+ For books, Ysabeau S. Wilce's Flora Segunda series, Weaveworld, and Imajica are rather high on the list. Most anything by Theodore Sturgeon, Clive Barker, Robert A. Heinlein, Robert Rimmer, George Alec Effinger, Anne Rice, Cecilia Tan, John Grisham (I told you I liked the occasional mindless romp...), Anonymous, William Tenn, Neal Stephenson, Poppy Z Brite, and several dozen more. I have a large stack of non-fiction to be read, mostly involving income disparity, interpersonal relationship, and other light topics.
+ For movies, anything involving John (and/or Joan) Cusack, or David Lynch (Twin Peaks!), or Harrison Ford, or M. Night Shyamalan, or Chuck Palahniuk, or... just bunches. From Shakespeare in Love to George Lucas in Love to Fight Club to all the Star Wars episodes (yes, even The Phantom Menace, though I do eagerly await the opportunity to see The Phantom Edit...), and the Star Trek movies, and the John Hughes collection, and....
Favorite TV shows range from Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure to Millennium and the X Files. Much of the Whedonverse (especially Firefly, Dollhouse, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and Sorkinland (The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, The Newsroom) are also high on my list. I'm not a complete addict (I don't arrange my schedule around the broadcasts; thank you, TiVo!), but I do enjoy a fair number of shows (Dexter, Big Love, Weeds, Six Feet Under, Mad Men, Scandal, Walking Dead, Top Chef, Glee, CSI/NCIS and their progeny, Top Gear, Bang Goes the Theory, American Horror Story, Orphan Black, Californication, Da Vinci's Demons, Game of Thrones, Crossbones, Graceland, Black Sails, Person of Interest, The Missing, Stalker, Criminal Minds, Castle, etc.), and tend to have the jumbotron on in the background while working or playing on my MacBook.
+ I listen to (and try to see live whenever I can) HUMANWINE, Goli, Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band, The Builders and The Butchers, Kim Boekbinder, Zoe Boekbinder, Vermillion Lies, Dresden Dolls, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley, Maggie Drennon, Kit Holliday, Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band/ENSMB, Berlin, Mary Lou Lord, Cocteau Twins, Depeche Mode, NPR/National Public Radio, WZBC (90.3 FM, Boston College Radio, where I used to DJ among other things), the sadly dead WFNX (101.7 FM, Boston Phoenix Radio), RadioBDC (Internet radio from Boston.com, staffed and programmed by a great many 'FNX refugees), WERS (88.9 FM, Emerson College Radio), Bauhaus, Marillion, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Ice-T, Dead Can Dance, Fairport Convention, Renaissance, SixMileBridge, Oingo Boingo, and many, many others. Again, the CD rack is over there, and the iTunes library is also expanding, well past my iPhone's capacity.
+ As for food... I enjoy spicy dishes involving things other than capsaicin (I don't generally consider pain to be a flavor) like good curries, Korean, real Mexican, and more... sushi, french onion soup, single-malt scotch, mead, rum, tapioca, bubble tea, peking duck, General Gao's chicken, Thai, French, Indian.... Aw, heck, I like food and drink!
- + how I'll ever dig my way out of this hole...
- + scheduling
- + whether OkCupid is good enough that I don't need to build the
site I was designing in my head, when it came along...
- + who invented liquid soap and why
- + when this country, and world, will realize that it can
provide for all the basic needs of all the people, without
unreasonably depriving the motivated from enjoying comparatively
higher standards of living
- + who to meet for dinner, and where, and what we'll do
- + why OkCupid programmers insist on breaking things like list
and paragraph HTML markup within profiles, and eliminating fun and
useful features like the WTF reports, while replacing them with
uselessness like "Icebreakers" (`You both like music, so clearly
you should talk!`)
- + why OkCupid continues to present me with matches from New
York and further, when I've set a 50 mile radius around my home
- + at the first party of the weekend
- + just plain recovering from the work-week's madness
- + driving from Boston to Northampton-ish for a meeting or a
rehearsal or just because
- + catching up on the TiVo spool
- + futzing with my profile and/or catching up on reading updates
to LiveJournal, MySpace, Friendster,
Orkut, LinkedIn, Facebook,
Flickr, Tribe, Twitter, Instagram,
and all those other whacktastic social networking sites
As for me, I'm a very rare breed. A male calico. Starting when I was two (if not younger), I've had white streaks in the hair on my head -- not gray bits, and not shocks, but tiny little patches amidst the predominant red/brown/blonde. People sometimes think I've had paint splattered on my head. As time's gone on, anywhere hair grew (yes, anywhere), there's been no such thing as solid coloration. And white isn't the only out-of-place color. If hair naturally grows that color, I've probably got it ... somewhere.
- + A casual evening of food, drink, and conversation
- + You're a walking contradiction, a dichotomy come to life --
punk on the outside, prissy on the inside; straight-laced exterior,
rock-em-sock-em personality; etc.
- + You like cuddling and cosomination at least as much
- + You know how to use apostrophes, semicolons, spell-checkers,
and ellipses (not to mention the Oxford comma) -- and do, when
- + You're not violently allergic to movies or TV, nor to their
- + You have a fetish for tall men.
- + It's been too long since you were last on the receiving end
of a massage, a flogging, or...