49Medford, United States
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My self-summary
tl;dr: I'm awesome. Face-to-face chemistry is totally different from anything electron-based. Meet me for drinks or snacks or dancing or whatever. Double your money back if not completely satisfied!

I am a work in progress, as is this profile....

If You Don't Stop That
- a favorite from Hafiz

I used to live in
A cramped house with confusion
And pain.

But then I met the Friend
And started getting drunk
And singing all

Confusion and pain
Started acting nasty,
Making threats,
With talk like this,

"If you don't stop 'that'--
All that fun--


I am tall, red-brown haired, blue eyed, sometimes red-bearded, usually clean-shaven, massively mutton-chopped of late, professional, Pagan, poly, pervy, well read, college educated. I am a cook (not a chef, as I don't usually create menus or recipes, but a damn fine cook and/or sous chef, as I have much technique and can often tell whether an herb or spice is lacking or will spoil what we're preparing), seamster (again, not a tailor, as I don't create patterns nor modify things well, but I can run a sewing machine or needle-and-thread just fine), walker, gardener, camper, equestrian, actor, drummer, dancer, singer. Experienced with silk and leather; ice and wax; fire and water; soft and hard; heavy and light.

Curmudgeonly and misanthropic at times, my friends know there are few better to have in their corner when the chips are down.

I am polyamorous by nature, currently involved in no serious relationships (though there are a few long-distance and/or local-but-infrequent playmates on my dance card), but usually with two or more regular locals of varying intensity and commitment, all of whom always know about each other, and who would know about you (and about whom you would know as much as you chose). Flirting with many, as always, with some interest in, but not solely focused on, taking these further. Useful books if you're curious about this are Love Without Limits -- The Search for Sustainable Relationships (now in its second edition, retitled Polyamory : The New Love Without Limits) and The Ethical Slut.

I hope to find more people who are interested in exploring the potentials of their bodies, minds, and spirits, through sensation, conversation, sex, ecstatic experiences, and more, whether as friends or otherwise.

I'm generally not looking for one-night-stands, though the occasional purely hormone-driven romp is wonderful, and if that is how we click, I'm not dead-set against it. I much prefer to find long-term friends and playmates, which may or may not include "romance" or "sex" in the traditional senses. I've been a few years without a "primary" partner, and I'd really like to find my "home"/lifemate/whatever -- but I'm more interested in exploring out where each relationship fits naturally, whether that's friends, lovers, playmates or otherwise, than in forcing any connection or relationship into a pre-defined shape.

I am a Witch in the Glainn Sidhr Order, and help facilitate the goings-on of EarthSpirit. For the past several years, my most visible and demanding role has been as a staff department head for Rites of Spring, our annual May gathering of about 500 like-minded folks for song, story, ritual, and celebration. 2015 will be my 27th year, and EarthSpirit's 37th Rites of Spring.

I'm about 90% Top and 10% Switch, if that question matters to you. My favorite toy is the mind, and my favorite ways to play are through stimulation and sensation, neither of which necessarily mean "pain" or "pleasure"...

Bottom line, I try to practice ethical hedonism.

Once upon a time, OkC asked for three adjectives; mine were charming, wyrd, and inscrutable.
What I’m doing with my life
  • + Being the change I want to see in the world -- we are the cool kids; where we are is where the party is; and we make a difference with everything we do.

  • + Searching for more people who think and feel vaguely like I do

  • + Working on next-generation Web 3.0/Linked Data/Semantic Web/Data Portability-enabling database and data access technologies (can you imagine, joining a new social networking site and simply (and selectively) importing your profile and connection information from Twitter and/or GOOG+ and/or Facebook and/or LinkedIn -- rather than re-entering everything and searching for friends over and over again?)

  • + Building community with other Pagans, drummers, dancers, singers, musicians, dreamers ... in part by helping EarthSpirit to plan, organize, and otherwise bring to life multi-day gatherings (Rites of Spring, Twilight Covening, others) for 100-500 people and 2-3 hour public rituals for 25-100 participants; by performing and recording with MotherTongue; by building labyrinths, stone circles, peace cairns, and other monuments to magic...

  • + Having spent a few years exploring the art of living alone in a small but reasonably luxurious condo, I concluded I need more human contact by default, and returned to living with others. I now share a fabulous 3-story Victorian-esque single-family near Wellington Circle, Medford, MA, with 3 compatibly crazy people (and currently 1 small and well-behaved Basenji–Chihuahua cross). (We will probably be looking to fill a vacancy in early-to-mid 2015; ping me if you've any interest in such!)

  • + Over the years, I've been a paperboy; a grocery bagger; a dental receptionist; a college dropout; a radio DJ; a radio newscaster; a babysitter; a camp counselor; a college graduate; director of accounts receivable & systems coordinator for a small publishing company; document processor for an architecture/engineering firm; administrative assistant for a corporate reengineering project; IT guru for a medical-technology venture capital firm; technology evangelist for a database & data access company; a graphic designer; a desktop publisher; a tinkerer/handyman; a Pewter merchant (Fellowship Foundry), a Bud Stud, and a Wings merchant at King Richard's, the local Renn Faire; and likely some things I've forgotten....

I’m really good at
  • + making good first impressions

  • + wasting time

  • + eating sushi

  • + translating concepts from one discipline (computer tech, most often) to another (medicine, politics, architecture) and back

  • + attracting children and animals

  • + intuitive massage and energetic healing

  • + making computers behave better, sometimes just by standing near them

  • + getting myself in trouble with the people with whom I'd most prefer not to be in trouble

  • + playing 3-D Tetris to fit far too much stuff into moving vans and too-small living spaces

  • + being a repository of useless trivia

  • + finding obscure information on the Internet, and in traditional research materials

  • + overusing ellipses...

The first things people usually notice about me
Wow, he's tall... and his eyes are so blue... and so sparkly... is he still smiling?...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The following lists are horrifically incomplete, and aren't necessarily favorites, just the first names that came to mind when I created them. I'm a media and information junkie (Radiolab, TED Talks), and I basically love food, so ... bear that in mind.

Another of my favorites from Hafiz --

These Beautiful Love Games

Young lovers wisely say,

"Let's try it from this angle,
Maybe something marvelous will happen,

Maybe three suns and two moons
Will roll out
From a hiding place in the body
Our passion has yet to ignite."

Old lovers say,
"We can do it one more time,
How about from this longitude
And latitude -

Swinging from a rope tied to the ceiling,

Maybe a part of God
Is still hiding in a corner of your heart
Our devotion has yet to reveal."

Bottom line:

Do not stop playing
These beautiful

+ For books, Ysabeau S. Wilce's Flora Segunda series, Weaveworld, and Imajica are rather high on the list. Most anything by Theodore Sturgeon, Clive Barker, Robert A. Heinlein, Robert Rimmer, George Alec Effinger, Anne Rice, Cecilia Tan, John Grisham (I told you I liked the occasional mindless romp...), Anonymous, William Tenn, Neal Stephenson, Poppy Z Brite, and several dozen more. I have a large stack of non-fiction to be read, mostly involving income disparity, interpersonal relationship, and other light topics.

+ For movies, anything involving John (and/or Joan) Cusack, or David Lynch (Twin Peaks!), or Harrison Ford, or M. Night Shyamalan, or Chuck Palahniuk, or... just bunches. From Shakespeare in Love to George Lucas in Love to Fight Club to all the Star Wars episodes (yes, even The Phantom Menace, though I do eagerly await the opportunity to see The Phantom Edit...), and the Star Trek movies, and the John Hughes collection, and....

Favorite TV shows range from Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure to Millennium and the X Files. Much of the Whedonverse (especially Firefly, Dollhouse, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and Sorkinland (The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, The Newsroom) are also high on my list. I'm not a complete addict (I don't arrange my schedule around the broadcasts; thank you, TiVo!), but I do enjoy a fair number of shows (Dexter, Big Love, Weeds, Six Feet Under, Mad Men, Scandal, Walking Dead, Top Chef, Glee, CSI/NCIS and their progeny, Top Gear, Bang Goes the Theory, American Horror Story, Orphan Black, Californication, Da Vinci's Demons, Game of Thrones, Crossbones, Graceland, Black Sails, Person of Interest, The Missing, Stalker, Criminal Minds, Castle, etc.), and tend to have the jumbotron on in the background while working or playing on my MacBook.

+ I listen to (and try to see live whenever I can) HUMANWINE, Goli, Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band, The Builders and The Butchers, Kim Boekbinder, Zoe Boekbinder, Vermillion Lies, Dresden Dolls, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley, Maggie Drennon, Kit Holliday, Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band/ENSMB, Berlin, Mary Lou Lord, Cocteau Twins, Depeche Mode, NPR/National Public Radio, WZBC (90.3 FM, Boston College Radio, where I used to DJ among other things), the sadly dead WFNX (101.7 FM, Boston Phoenix Radio), RadioBDC (Internet radio from, staffed and programmed by a great many 'FNX refugees), WERS (88.9 FM, Emerson College Radio), Bauhaus, Marillion, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Ice-T, Dead Can Dance, Fairport Convention, Renaissance, SixMileBridge, Oingo Boingo, and many, many others. Again, the CD rack is over there, and the iTunes library is also expanding, well past my iPhone's capacity.

+ As for food... I enjoy spicy dishes involving things other than capsaicin (I don't generally consider pain to be a flavor) like good curries, Korean, real Mexican, and more... sushi, french onion soup, single-malt scotch, mead, rum, tapioca, bubble tea, peking duck, General Gao's chicken, Thai, French, Indian.... Aw, heck, I like food and drink!
Six things I could never do without
Yeah, some of these are kinda cheesey sounding. Oh well. magic, music, my Mac and a good net connection (yes, I count these as one), books, adult beverages, regular social events…
I spend a lot of time thinking about
  • + how I'll ever dig my way out of this hole...

  • + scheduling

  • + whether OkCupid is good enough that I don't need to build the site I was designing in my head, when it came along...

  • + who invented liquid soap and why

  • + when this country, and world, will realize that it can provide for all the basic needs of all the people, without unreasonably depriving the motivated from enjoying comparatively higher standards of living

  • + who to meet for dinner, and where, and what we'll do afterward

  • + why OkCupid programmers insist on breaking things like list and paragraph HTML markup within profiles, and eliminating fun and useful features like the WTF reports, while replacing them with uselessness like "Icebreakers" (`You both like music, so clearly you should talk!`)

  • + why OkCupid continues to present me with matches from New York and further, when I've set a 50 mile radius around my home ...

On a typical Friday night I am
What is this "typical" of which you speak? On any given Friday, you may find me ...

  • + at the first party of the weekend

  • + just plain recovering from the work-week's madness

  • + driving from Boston to Northampton-ish for a meeting or a rehearsal or just because

  • + catching up on the TiVo spool

  • + futzing with my profile and/or catching up on reading updates to LiveJournal, MySpace, Friendster, Orkut, LinkedIn, Facebook, Flickr, Tribe, Twitter, Instagram, and all those other whacktastic social networking sites

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
First -- come on, all you coy folks -- admit something. Maybe the most private thing you're willing to admit here (on the Internet!?!) is that you like asparagus, or that you hate anchovies on your pizza, or that you made an OkCupid profile. That's fine -- just say so. Saying "it's private!" just says you don't understand the question.

As for me, I'm a very rare breed. A male calico. Starting when I was two (if not younger), I've had white streaks in the hair on my head -- not gray bits, and not shocks, but tiny little patches amidst the predominant red/brown/blonde. People sometimes think I've had paint splattered on my head. As time's gone on, anywhere hair grew (yes, anywhere), there's been no such thing as solid coloration. And white isn't the only out-of-place color. If hair naturally grows that color, I've probably got it ... somewhere.
You should message me if
  • + A casual evening of food, drink, and conversation appeals.

  • + You're a walking contradiction, a dichotomy come to life -- punk on the outside, prissy on the inside; straight-laced exterior, rock-em-sock-em personality; etc.

  • + You like cuddling and cosomination at least as much as rumpy-pumpy.

  • + You know how to use apostrophes, semicolons, spell-checkers, and ellipses (not to mention the Oxford comma) -- and do, when appropriate.

  • + You're not violently allergic to movies or TV, nor to their addicts.

  • + You have a fetish for tall men.

  • + It's been too long since you were last on the receiving end of a massage, a flogging, or...

P.S. My OkC-IM is OFF. Even if it says it's ON. It's not. I swear. Send an OkCupid fake-mail. Or a wink. I love a good wink. Or use one of the real IMs or email addreses you can find on my LJ profile. Please.
The two of us