The helium doesn't react.
... Strike one.
I also really enjoy beer.
Bourbon is good too.
I have poor time management skills.
I have only a few hobbies and writing fake Craigslist ads is one of them.
I can fix bikes.
Slowly learning what "financial responsibility" is. That is, until the next shiny thing I HAVE TO FUCKING HAVE pops up on an Amazon Prime Lightning Deal.
I have two cats. I take a lot of pictures of them. A LOT. They are named after Pokémon. Strike two.
Struggling with bikes while sober.
Justifying collecting useless bullshit.
Making poor impressions.
Abusing the quicksave/load feature.
(Alternatively, being bad at videogames.)
Being bad at most kinds of games.
Making jokes only I find funny.
Forgetting someone's name the second I stop talking to them.
Accidentally ending text messages with " b" instead of "."
I bought a copy of Atlas Shrugged for $2.99 at a thrift store. Way cheaper than buying firewood at a convenience store!
I don't like mushrooms, but I ate one recently and didn't hate it.
I've been known to watch a TV show or movie here and there.
Self deprecating humor.
My ability to count to six.
Why I don't use the word "hubris" more often.
Is peanut butter an addictive substance?
How I can abuse the power I'm given.
Did I use enough emojis in that last text?
Why Charizard and Gyarados aren't Dragon type, but Alola-form Exeggutor is ???????!?!?!?!!!
When society will ultimately collapse into pure dysfunction and chaos. Though I'm guessing the answer is 2016.
That thing I just did that I should've fucking done differently god dammit, fuck, I'm so goddamn stupid.
That being said, if you enjoy bikes, beer, coffee, podcasts, sci-fi, distilling the mechanics of Pokémon Go into a fine science, etc we may get along.