AND NOW FROM THE CREATORS OF MOTHER THERESA AS TERMINATOR 5!
In a world, where your looks matter more than % of compatibility by a dumb computer... ahmmm... sorry, I had to go there.
Ok. Camera! Take 2.
I just saw this hilarious poster at a gas station: "Smoking during re-fueling can help you quit... FOREVER!". Kind of funny.
Hey! If you are looking for a hook up, then please, PLEASE move on. Absolutely "friends first"! Had you for a second, ha! Oh for heavens sake if you believe that any man in a right mind would seriously write something like this, then you are complete dufus... I made of flesh and blood and "friends first" is massively overrated... Naturally!
Now. If you are old enough to be my mother or young enough to be my daughter, it won't work. If you live 1 to 2 hours away, it most likely won't work especially if your status says "casual, no commitment". Love, getting in my car is a commitment. So let us limit our love search to San Francisco (unless it's a home delivery? ;)
I believe that very few times in your life, if you are lucky, you might meet someone who is exactly right for you. Not because they are perfect, or because you are, but because your combined flaws are arranged in a way that allow two (or three or more - we can't discriminate against the polyamorous audience) separate beings to hinge together. After all, is not love just being stupid together?
I want to find something special...that is not possible to buy with money... such things as warmness, tenderness, care, passion, feeling that makes your heart beat faster... How happy I would be to have the same love and devotion with someone... with someone who will always be there for me, who will be devoted, loyal... who will never hurt and who I can guard as my biggest treasure... I always wanted to be that man, who loves and cares, who will never make her cry... and every day I will feel the happiest man in the world just to be with such a woman... Could this be you?
Lastly. My cat typed all this. She has stolen all the quotes and is a shameless plagiary and... No! I do not approve her message! And neither my dog.
Freaking A! If you don't feel safe to come, then you don't. Brilliant!
Am I a genius or what!?
I dislike alcohol, love tea & crepes and don't watch sports... unless it is my kid playing, then I am cheering like a nut and other parents give me Darth Vader looks. Then of course I lose my voice for a week.
Now in an unbelievable plot twist, I am turning the tables, ladies! Have some more wine, before you read further... Keep it real.
Ok, ye be warned! The first thing I will notice about you is... Elementary Watson! Your first photo! It tells me and other men more about you than you think:
1. If this is the only photo, then I might decide anything. Say chances are that you are a... transvestite? Which is totally cool by itself. Just not my cup o'tea as dating concerned. I cannot stand an idea of going through such an awkward date experience... again.
2. If you sport dark glasses, while the dumb part of the mankind will have a split second to click on your profile or move to the next, then this is counter intuitive as well (which in this context is polite for "stupid").
3. If you are a distant barely recognizable lonely point on the background of mountains, forest, show covering God knows what, downtown of something foreign, invaded and re-invaded by the tourists, then see the conclusion of item 2. Feet on first photo... Seriously?
4. You put your child(ren) on any photos on a dating side. I think that it's simply not right, not kosher.
5. Posing with other women, and let the viewer use the following pictures to determine which one you are. What if he likes your companion (remember? you got a very special audience - single duuuuumb men). I feel for ya... when he asks you if SHE (the other woman, not you it is) is available. Ouch!
6. Have a grainy unrecognizable photo, like HD cameras are unheard of, then you got something to hide, instead of feeling good about yourself. Indeed, you can throw that Freud book back at me... Good luck. Photoshop your face photo? Get out of town! Who's got the time for this? One of your pictures must be a normal full body shot, without a crowd in front or made from a low flying helicopter (to show the boobs and hide the tammy). Whatever your body is there is a man out there who likes you the way you are. You'll be surprised. Is not it the idea to weed out the womanizers and find HIM?
Fair enough? You're welcome (I should charge for this. I know, right?)
Master & Margarita (you should read this one, if you made it so far this will be a small reward for trying... )
"Dial M for Murder"
"Three Days of Condor" (this plot would not be possible now)
"Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy"
"The Russia House"
"A Most Wanted Man"
Absolutely love BBC's "Sherlock"!
Robert Downey, Jr
Yes this is pretty much it in this department. Wonder why?
Mireille Mathieu - my first love (But of course I was 6 at the time!). Try "La Vie En Rose" or "Tous Les Enfants Chantent Avec Moi"
Charles Aznavour, Michel Legrand, Antonio Carlos Jobim.
Only Andy Borowitz!
2. Drinking Water
3. Having Food 2 times a day and snack occasionally
4. Using restroom now and then
5. Sleep 8 hours
6. Being adored (I could use some serious hug)
Love. You have to be beautiful and bright and like me a lot... yes, even when sober next morning. Look at this punim? Why settle for less? Kind above all. Sincere. Be very down to earth and non materialistic. I'd rather spend quality time with you vs receiving material gifts from you (yes you read it right). When you're old, it's the experiences that you will remember, not the things.
Now as to the online dating in particular. I agree with this growing notion of cognitive overload. So many choices, that normal humans end up choosing nothing, emptied with chasing own tail here, wasting precious time. Online dating corrupts us in invisible way... Or it's just moi?
And one more thing...
... you just like me as-is...
... hey, you ARE Monica Bellucci!
... you are ready to ruin your lipstick
If you can make crepes, then I love you, marry me!
In a world... where you are a dream and we don't wake up and forget everything else, because there is nothing more real... let the autumn cry and we only dance and laugh about foolish things! Now. Your hand love...