36Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Below is a very straight forward and thorough over view of my sexuality and relationship style. I sometimes wonder if this is too much information off the bat and I should just be vague and mysterious but I'm an open book and I figure if you're not going to be ok with my sexuality and relationship style, well it would just be a waste of time to find out in person.

I am a loving, loyal, communicative, playful, kinky, cuddly,
bi-sexual, (1.8-ish on the kinsey scale, considering claiming pansexual) switch, (almost exclusively dominant with women but still flexible and tend to be submissive with men). I was introduced to polyamory 13 years ago and have been more deeply exploring alternative sexuality in the Bay Area for the past 11 years. I more identify with creating "openly defined" relationships rather than polyamory. I am personally attracted to the model of having one deeply committed partner and then integrating our current lovers into the partnership ideally and creating relationships with new lovers together. All the while still having openness and fluidity within that ideal structure when we're not together. Though for now I'm just wanting to openly date and explore with others until I am really clear that I've found that partner to dive into such a container.

I have a very high standard and commitment to the intention of always being able to return to a place of friendship if a romantic/sexual relationship isn't serving or working anymore. This fundamentally means staying committed to finding the most appropriate relationship which could also mean ending a partnership but still staying lovers. It is important that whomever I get deeply involved with is willing to live up to this commitment and work through whatever needs to get resolved to be able to get back to a place of friendship or find the most appropriate relationship. Because of this value and standard, I am close friends with a number of my past partners, still lovers of 7 years with someone whom I see about once a week and pretty much best friends with my most recent past partner.

With all of my lovers and partners of the past 7-8 years I've explored kink, D/s dynamics. My desire to delve deeper into those dynamics and exploration is getting stronger. As a Dom I'm both very loving, kind and patient but firm, direct, demanding and know what I want. I'm also open and flexible, enjoying meeting my sub where they're at while still getting what I want out of it. I enjoy introducing individuals to BDSM by making it more light and playful, as it doesn't have to be this serious and intense thing. As I often say, when I bring up BDSM and people say "oh, I'm not into that stuff!" I respond with "well, do you enjoy being nibbled on your neck, having your nipples pinched, hair pulled or being held down?" and they're normally like "oh yeah, I like most of those things" and I say "well to me that all falls under BDSM, there's just a wide spectrum". In addition, even though I lean towards rough play and BDSM it doesn't mean that I can't be adaptable and play with people in other ways as I enjoy a wide spectrum of sensuality and sexuality.

Now that we have sexual orientation and kinks out of the way, some of favorite activities include any combination of the following; dance (especially contact improv), yoga, massage (giving and receiving), acrosage (massaging someone while lifting them off the ground with your feet), AquaProv (contact improv in water), soaking in hotsprings, hanging out on the beach (especially tropical), being in nature, intentional journeys through medicinal substances (ayahuasca, peyote, etc.), less intentional recreational drug induced adventures, self-improvement/exploration classes/workshops, cuddling, passionate kissing, wrestling (one of my fav!!), open sensuality/sexuality, playing with kink (BDSM, ropes, roleplays, fantasies, etc.), threesomes/foursomes, play parties and anything adventurous.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a private massage practice, specializing in Aquatic Bodywork (massage in warm water) and Thai Couples Massage. Because of this, I have a warm pool in my living room (yep you read it right) including a movie projector above the pool to watch movies in while soaking in warm water, it's pretty great.

I'm really into continually growing and learning more about myself.
I'm currently in this training:
And will be assisting this training this year:

With such a lovely space and an indoor warm pool to host people in, I organize a wide range of events. Ranging from movie nights in the pool to make out parties to themed play parties. My favorite and most recent one was called "Get Your Frottage On!". It was a 2nd base party (no direct genital play) with a lap dancing class to start it out. Such a great way to get everyone into their bodies and reminded how erotically turned on we can get without barely touching each other. Make out parties or 2nd base parties are my favorite to host because it's a great space for people that are totally new to the concept of exploring open sensuality/sexuality and also expands what's possible when there's boundaries in place.

I've also done a number events called Playful Kink which is an introductory playshop and play party for folks interested in or new to kink. Did one called Women in Charge, with a playshop to teach women how to be dominant, followed by a play party where all the men agree to be bossed around and used by the women for whatever they want. I've done a couple called Bi-Playful Party which is a play party to explore the gender you normally don't explore with. And to make it safer for the women, all the men agree to not approach or engage with the women so the women can play with each other and not have a guy try to insert himself into the fun. At all of my events I facilitate an opening circle to collectively talk about what has people feel safe in such an environment, create a container for the event and help people start connecting. Let me know if you're interested in knowing about them.

Ultimately though, I'm working towards offering private hands on sessions and workshops that teach men how to be better lovers. One of my ideal dreams is to have a romantic partner that we travel around the world facilitating high end weekend long private intensives for men and come back to the Bay Area a few times a year to facilitate weekend workshops for groups of men.
I’m really good at
Giving and receiving massage.
Long embracing hugs and/or cuddles.
Clear and responsible communication.
Inspiring trust and comfort in people.
Creating comfortable and enjoyable first time experiences.
Rope bondage, spanking, hair pulling, rough play, wrestling...
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically: My glasses with bamboo frames and my attentive eye contact.
Energetically: My presence, calmness, and groundedness.

I also often get that I look like Edward Norton and even stranger I get that I sound like him, once from someone in a locker room that couldn't even see me just could hear me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Well, I don't read books often. Might have something to do with growing up with a speech impediment. Been making myself read lately, currently reading Mating In Captivity.

I'm not a huge movie buff either but some of my favorites are; Baraka, Samsara, Qatsi-Trilogy, Ashes and Snow, Waking Life, Avatar, Matrix, Inception, Borat, Bruno, Ali G, Short Bus, Secretary.

Regular education/entertainment include, Ted Talks, The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight and currently The Blacklist. Past TV shows: Mad Men, Masters of Sex, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Girls, 30 Rock, Louie and Cosmos (one of my favorite)!!

Some of my favorite musicians are; Beats Antique, Wildlight, Lynx and Janover, Goddess Alchemy Project, Michael Franti, Brett Dennon, Bjork (my all time fav), Bassnectar, Glitch Mob, Portishead, Sig Ros, U2, Thievery Corporation, Telepop Musik, Regina Spektor, Imogen Heap, Sia, Frou Frou, and more...

I am committed to keeping my food local and organic whenever possible. I am an omnivore now but was either vegetarian, vegan or raw for over 6 years. Been eating out a lot lately not cooking at home as much as I used to. I normally go with a Red Curry at a Thai restaurant, next comes Sushi and then Mexican but a favorite is Venus in Berkeley. I do enjoy other ethnic foods on occasion and enjoy fine dining experiences as often as I can reasonably afford.
Six things I could never do without
My iPhone and MacBook Air
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The existence of the universe and how it all came to be. The state of the world and what will come of it. How to be self sufficient and living sustainably yet enjoying the lifestyle I have now. How to move forward on creating a service that is mobile, basically a business I can travel with and do from a tropical beach or wherever there is WiFi. What I'd do if I won the lotto (and yes I actually play it weekly). How to improve my life and continue creating the life I truly want to live.
On a typical Friday night I am
Friday nights aren't completely typical but tend to just stay in and enjoy a chill night in. More typically, I attend Ecstatic Dance in Oakland on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've waxed my own genitals. Yes it hurts but it's not that bad after the first two times ;)
You should message me if
Socially interested:
Feel free to message me about anything!

Romantically interested (any of the below):
You're already into or interested in open relationships.
You want to start a conversation on here to explore possibilities between us
You enjoy dancing and want to meet up at Ecstatic Dance.
You wanna meet up and do some AcroYoga/Acrosage
You want to meet over coffee/tea or breakfast/lunch/dinner
You wanna play with ropes/bondage or kink play in general (these go to the top of my list)
You're interested in knowing about the events I hold out of my space.

Disclaimer: I don't tend to respond to one liners and especially from those that are out of state and have less than a 80% match with not much to say like "Hey".
The two of us