Sometimes I've been told by some friends that I should be a stand-up comedian. As someone who uses a wheelchair, my friends are jerks.
I get the best parking, sit in the closest seats, wait in the shortest lines, and use in the biggest bathroom stalls.
I suppose I'm the intellectual sarcastic type who enjoys meeting all kinds of people and hearing everyone's story.
I have no agenda, I'm really just here to meet new people. Life is much more enjoyable when you keep things simple.
I love dogs.
Besides work I enjoy spending time with my dog, watching movies in my modest home theater, and occasional gaming.
I also do 100 squats a day. Gotta keep things tight, ya know?
I truly believe that most of life's problems can be resolved with good communication and patient understanding.
And if that doesn't work just roshambo for it.
I love stories that expose the human condition and make you think. I get bored with predictable happy endings.
TV: The Expanse / Nathan for You / OTINB / Broad City / The OA / House of Cards / BattleBots / Better Call Saul / The Leftovers / Halt and Catch Fire / The Knick / Game of Thrones / Letterkenny / Man Seeking Woman... The list goes on and is always changing.
Books: The Little Engine that Could
Music: I won't voluntarily turn on country, but I find things to enjoy in all genres. Electronica (house, drum and bass, glitch) and polka music are my current favorites.
Food: Bread, sauce, cheese. Sandwiches, pizza, Cesar salad and Gogurt.
One-sided awkward silences
Bass (Not the fish. As in the opposite of treble. The instrument is pretty cool too.)
Dark carbonated beverages. I know, they're unhealthy but I just love a Vanilla Coke or Dr. Pepper. I'd rather die young with a Coke in my hand than live to be 100 with dementia.
I am currently cutting down on my soda intake, however: "I'll just have a water, thanks!"
The Baader-Meinhof effect.
Why is everyone here "down to earth" and "looking for a partner in crime". WHY ARE YOU ALL HUMBLE FELONS?!
If that's a deal breaker, then I'm sorry for wasting your time.
(I lied I'm not really sorry.)
I tend to keep small talk to a minimum and cut right to the chase on just about any topic. If that sounds good to you, then let's do this.
* Pulse is not mandatory.