My friend Ashley just decided to take this profile away from me and write it herself.
Hi. Ashley here. Seriously, girls. I have not ONE good reason not to go out with Darren myself. He is hilariously funny...dashingly handsome (what?? Dashingly is a totally legitimate word.)...up for anything...responsible...successful...a good dresser...smells good. I could really go on... I know what you're thinking...if this Darren guy's so great, why don't YOU just go out with him yourself? It's a valid question. Here's the kicker about Darren. And something to consider before hitting the button to message him:
While a night out with Darren is a GUARANTEE for a good time, in the end, this guy is a one-woman man...loyal, steadfast, ready to actually BE in a relationship...find love and, eventually, settle down and have some kidlets. And I'm more of a Good-time Charlie. (Darren just pointed out that I like to THINK of myself as a good-time Charlie, but really, I'm just a commitment-phobe. Whatever, Darren...this profile isn't about me.)
Okay, I'm back.
Food: An avid eater-outer (Oh MAN, that came out ALL wrong.) he'll take you to GORGEOUS restaurants all over town. Just make sure that your order doesn't have peanuts or shellfish if you want to share...he's allergic. (Darren is under the impression that "allergies are a turn-off". Ridiculous, I say. This is life or death here, people.)
Books: He's a busy fella...but when he DOES read, it's mostly fiction--things that other people recommend--Jeffery Archer novels...and things with too many numbers on the page.
TV shows and Movies: Y'know...all the usual stuff that smart, funny people like: The Daily Show, Friday Night Lights, Dr. Katz, Arrested Development, Family Guy (which is so obvious, he says.) Modern Family, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia...True Romance, Goodfellas, The Royal Tenenbaums and Anything with Bill Murray (Darren would like me to qualify that Bill Murray MAY be a polarizing topic...and that if you happen to be in the "Bill Murray is Crummy" Camp, he can live without him--so don't let that stop you from reaching out.)
A well-made cocktail
A comfy couch and someone to cuddle on it with (Darren doesn't want that to count as two.)
his car. ( I told him that was lame, and quietly, reverently, Darren replied "I love my car".)