Uberhans
26 Chicago, United States
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Uberhans
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My self-summary
Holy shit, it's may 15th 2016 already.

So, admittedly, i'm drunk, and this is a plug profile. So listen to my shitty band and instant message me if you think i'm cute.

Here's a link to the discography of my shitty band:
http://hoboblood.bandcamp.com/album/ghost-radio

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on whether or not you like terrible music, hoboblood performed their last show on halloween '14. So... if any musicians are lurking my profile, send me a message if you want to throw down on some crunchy jams.

Here's a link to my facebook profile for all you lurkers who happen to run into me in real life:
https://www.facebook.com/tom.bennett.7921975

I just moved to Chicago a week ago from Fargo ND, and just found a place to live today on the east side of humbolt park. For the last week I was crashing on my brother's couch in the Ukrainian village; so please, don't rape/murder me as I'd like to enjoy living here.

I've met maybe five individuals from this site, and they've all been positive experiences with lasting friendships. I can't tell you what I'm looking for; all I can say is I'm exploring all the possibilities. If you're ambitious enough to want to meet someone off the internet, and I don't totally creep you out, well...

That makes you either interesting or crazy, I haven't decided yet...
What I’m doing with my life
In 2012 I graduated from Mankato State University with a major in theater and minor in mathematics. Basically I was a faggoty otaku with a fondness for D&D, video-games, weed, and pizza when I started college. I had no idea how to be an adult, or how to talk to girls, or how to hold my liquor.

I graduated high school with 69 college credits, and was given a full ride scholarship to to Itasca Community College for engineering. Well, long story short, I fucking hated it.

But I was still young and dumb, and I thought I knew what I wanted. So I transferred schools and majors and got the previously stated degree, which looks something like a poorly patched up tranny a la hedvig and the angry itch.

So nowadays I do what most 26 year olds do:
Try to survive crippling college debt along with all the other life altering decisions inherited from a dumber age.

I'm currently working at umami burger as a line slave. I also make pizza at craft pizza. I'm auditioning for plays in the meantime and hoping for the best.

When I finally get my shit together (and the day is quickly approaching) I'd like to buy some film equipment, and an arc welder, and build custom installations for music venues. That way I could just install a few external hard drives behind the staging, and get paid to edit video for music performances, without having to watch another terrible show in person.
I’m really good at
smoking, bull-shitting, sleezing, hustling, skeevy things mostly
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm emaciated and I have pink hair.... currently... Last week it was blue..... last month was green, etc....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I read a lot of Vonnegut, and sometimes I tell people I read Ayn Rand, mostly to quickly tell if they're idiots or assholes. Sometimes I give my Wadesworth anthology of drama a look over.

I watch an insane amount of movies. I'm not going to make a list, because the truth is most movies really fucking suck, and that used to make me mad. Ok, it still makes me mad. But hey, Wes Anderson is still making movies, and I think Quentin Tarantino has another one on the way. Mostly when I watch movies I just think about the shot selection, composition, etc far more than the usually terrible story lines.

when I'm done trolling around hulu, or when netflix angers me with it's constant suggestions of Adam Sandler movies, I spend much of my time on piratebay being a mobster. Mostly I download adult swim series, WWII documentaries, and a lot of shitty anime. I've got a couple of terabytes between movies/games/music

my taste in music would be something between david allen coe and nas. underground hip-hop, deathmetal, alternative, electronic, jazz, funk, old ass country, hula, garage punk and basically anything else I feel is honest. fuck top 40s.

Most of the food available tastes like human paste to me since I grew up in Phoenix. I like spicy things, meat, peanut butter, and cheese. Everything else is, for the most part, tolerable
The six things I could never do without
Music
Video games
The internet
Mary Jane
Mi familia
Beer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
anthropology, social structure/order, meticulously catagorizing archtypes of.... everything, movies in general, physics, conspiracy theory, people! Mother fucking people dude. how people move, how they talk, what they're trying to emphasize, what they want, what they're trying to get, people people people!
On a typical Friday night I am
Working or drinking. If I'm too poor to drink, i'm watching a movie, eating pizza, getting stoned with my friends, and playing videogames. Every once in a while, when I'm feeling extra kinky, I enjoy a nice game of chess or a session of dungeons and dragons
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
*I'm basically a Marxist
*I was a nude model for my school
*I'm too shy to pee in a public urinal
*nihilist for the last 10 years
*my profile is so old that OKC made me an admin... is that pathetic?
You should message me if
you wanna talk to a hobo, or if you wanna piss off your mom. You should absolutely message me if you play any music and want to collaborate.

Dude, I'm not gross or weird. If you just wanna fuck, like, free will and everything, but to be honest, I'm really looking for something meaningful. Like message me if you want or whatever, but yeah, I'm like really actualized as an individual and I feel pretty confident about my ego... whatever that means. I guess just message me if you want? whatever I don't really care about anything lol
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