31 Valley Village, United States
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My self-summary
You know all those dudes who send you really terrible messages on here? I'm worse. Like, the douchiest douche who ever douched. I'll probably try to bone your friends and dad.

My spirit animal is the lion, because my dream is to live with half a dozen who do all the work while I just have unprotected sex and sometimes fight dudes.

Let's do butt stuff and make fun of old people.
What I’m doing with my life
Rich idiot with no day job. Hobbies include trippin balls, cultural appropriation, and kicking beggars.
I’m really good at
Pimping out my relatives and offending SJW's.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm staring at your tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Atlas Shrugged, The Divine Comedy, Kama Sutra

Movies: Mostly horse porn.

Shows: Fox News and Sesame Street.

Music: ICP, Skrillex, and Creed.

Food: Pizza, sushi, and Funyuns.
The six things I could never do without
Booze, bitches, and weed. Twice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Honestly? I try not to.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think Donald Trump is a pretty rad dude.
You should message me if
You really shouldn't.

(Okay, the reality is I'm not looking to date anyone new, but figure I'll keep this up here in this state in case anyone's up for a laugh. Fair warning, all messages received will be responded to in character. It will be graphic and possibly horrifying.)