VincentGrayson
35Mount Airy, United States
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VincentGrayson
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My self-summary
I am a poly husband and father, a relentless optimist, and a pretty big dork. I love people and the complex web of relationships that surround us, and find distinct pleasure in meeting new people and figuring out where we fit in each other's lives.

I swing pretty hard to the left on most things. I'm a pretty agreeable and friendly guy, but I struggle to put much work into legitimately spending time on anyone who is racist, sexist, not LGBTQ-friendly, etc. Basically, if you ever find yourself using the term "SJW" to talk shit about people, we're unlikely to get along.

People tend to open up to me quickly, and I tend to return the favor. I like a big social group, where people are generally comfortable with each other physically, and everyone feels safe.

I feel my feelings pretty thoroughly, and am unashamed to admit that movies, TV, music, etc can make me cry at the drop of a hat.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a husband and father, and I mostly work from home, so this affords me a lot of time with my loved ones. I enjoy writing and am trying to force myself to find fewer excuses to put it off.

Shaking things up. Practicing poly is new, and I'm excited to put myself out there, meet new people, and expand the vast web of interconnected people in my life.
I’m really good at
I'm that guy who's always willing to listen, and likely not going to judge whatever it is you're throwing out there. I like to imagine that in a world where I had any religious feeling whatsoever, I'd be a priest or similar. People often come to me for advice or to just vent.

Picking the right music.

General trivia, especially when it comes to culture. I've always had a knack for memorizing random bullshit, and my kids are convinced I know everything. I assume it's genetic, as my father once did well on Jeopardy.

I've been told I have "good hands". Take that as you will. I'm a pretty affectionate person in general, and I do give a good massage.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm a friendly, outgoing person in general, so I'd imagine that.

Beyond that, I'm a big guy and I think I tend to gesture a lot when I talk, so I'm hard to miss. Also, my hair and beard combination makes me look like some kind of hipster viking, or so I'm told.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I have a hard time picking favorite books, because while I like the process of reading them, I find they rarely stick with me.

That said, "Book of the New Sun" by Gene Wolfe, "Ghostwritten" by David Mitchell, "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" by Haruki Murakami, "House of Leaves" by Mark Danielewski, "Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk, "Children of Time" by Adrian Tchaikovsky, and the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan/Brandon Sanderson would be my top picks.

Movies: Like most people these days, I watch a lot of movies. All-time favorites that duel for the top spot are The Thing (Carpenter 1982 version) and Aliens. I like to consume a mix of bog-standard Hollywood big budget schlock, most comedies not involving Adam Sandler and his ilk, and upsetting horror films.

Music: This year so far, I've seen a bunch of my favorite musical acts live: The xx, Sigur Ros, Charlotte Martin, and in November, Tori Amos! I've been waiting to see her live for like, 20 fucking years. Otherwise, I listen to a pretty wide variety of music. Old favorites include NIN, Autechre, Placebo, Goldfrapp, and Shpongle.

Lately: Miike Snow's "Genghis Khan" and "Heart is Full" on repeat.

TV: Things I can watch perhaps literally forever if called upon to: The Office (US), Freaks and Geeks, The Simpsons (s1-s9 only), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, South Park, and Seinfeld.

And then, like most boring 30-somethings, all that Netflix bullshit to some extent. The last new thing I really loved was Legion.

Foods: I like to eat. I'm pretty partial to Mexican or a good pizza, but I'll try most stuff. I like spicy food, so I'm always up for new and good ways of delivering that lovely capsaicin.

Games: I like games a lot. I don't generally play them for challenge. If it's videogames, I like them easy or focused on something other than the live.die.repeat thing. Give me a world to explore or a complex story or even just repetitive fantasy combat like I was raised on. If it's boardgames or tabletop RPGs, I'm there for the cooperative, social fun. People that get all serious about rules (you know the type: "no house rules") and competition kill it for me.
Six things I could never do without
First, the obvious boring stuff: family - chosen or otherwise, the people I've surrounded myself with are there for a reason.

Now, five other things:

Driving. I know it's coming. Automation and self-driving vehicles are the way of the future. I ain't gonna fight it. But I'll be sad when someday I can't just get in the car and drive aimlessly, with music blaring and the wind in my hair.

Modern convenience. Give me indoor plumbing and a comfortable bed. In an end of the world scenario, I'm proper fucked.

Time for introspection. If I don't have a decent amount of quiet time alone to just sort of run shit through my head, I'm not 100%.

Physical intimacy. I don't want to put sex, because it's not *just* that. I like touching and hugging and just general physical closeness to my fellow human beings. If I had to live some kind of isolated life, I think I'd go nuts.

Music. More than movies or tv or video games, I feel like music needs to be a daily part of my life.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Complexity and simplicity. Politics and people and how disarmingly simple it all seems like it should be if you drill down deep enough.

Humanity. Where we're going, where we've been, where myself, my generation, and my children will fit into the overall picture of human history.

Books I haven't written.

My kids, and the future of humanity. They're fine today, but who knows what crazy shit will happen in their lifetimes. And then I start thinking about all the parents who are certainly worried about the same things for their kids, but less able to make certain they will be safe. I said at the outset that I'm a pretty optimistic person, and I am. But I worry about these people, and I worry about the people who are capable of so callously dismissing their worries (albeit less so).

What it will take to achieve true equality.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either hanging with my wife, or out socializing with friends. I'm not much for clubs or bars, but we're all "real" adults with homes now, and that's way better (and cheaper!)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not a particularly private person...if there's something you need to know, just ask.

I will admit that "particularly" was spelled wrong in this box for 5 fucking years and I never noticed. I am deeply ashamed.
You should message me if
You think we'll click. I'm largely interested in making friends and if there's a physical attraction, that's cool too.

I don't have a lot of deal breakers, and I'm more interested in being positive, so here's some deal *makers*:

You love to listen to music. I am always in search of new groups I'll love, or even entire genres I've never heard of.

You give a shit, generally speaking. While I'm no stranger to sarcasm and apathy, the older I get the less I find the idea of not actually caring to be appealing. Like, if we can commiserate over the vagaries of the modern political landscape, we'll be fast friends.

You laugh easily. I feel like I'm constantly meeting people who tell me they "don't like most comedy". I am not that person. I love laughing, and even more, I love enjoying comedic things with the people I care about. Sharing those moments pretty much immediately endears a person to me.
More
The two of us
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Lifestyle
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Dating
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Other
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Sex
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Ethics
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Religion