31San Diego, United States
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My self-summary
Current events: It turns out we have to move... Again. We're losing the house we rent with a few roommates. This time we want a yard for a husky, but we don't want to leave this central San Diego area (Banker's Hill, Point Loma, Mission Hills, Hillcrest, all ideal). It would be SO great to find a nice house with a like-minded couple!

I'll try to be proactive. What am I looking for? Ideally, a few more local, amazing, likeminded people to be the kind of friends you see all the time. Yes, I am in a committed, stable, fulfilling partner/lover-type relationship.

Why do I hide my identity? Because it's a good choice. When I feel like it, I share my identity with individuals. There's just no need to offer myself up for judgement to the Internet in general.

Who am I? I think of myself as a mixed ethnicity Californian, but I am sometimes assumed to be Asian or Hispanic. I am not a fluent Spanish speaker, but I do speak video game decently. =P My unlawfully wedded husband speaks video game pretty constantly. He's a white guy with Irish and Russian ancestors.

I don't try to speak for him on this OKCupid account, just in this section.

I'm going to use a few shortcuts in this description and leave my paradoxes as a side note. I'm a quiet atheist. He is a respectful atheist. I am a casual gamer female. He is a hardcore gamer. I majored in a social science and minored in art. He went to the school of life-experience and is still considering dabbling in academics. I love ideas and abstract thinkers. He loves the art of story-telling and rationality. I feel deeply and work hard. He goes with the flow and withdraws to recharge. We believe in polyamory ideals, but we are content. We are pretty low on money and resources at the moment, but we live a great life.

I am trying to figure out how to describe the kind of life that I and my partner are enjoying and building together. The kind of paradise that is made. I found one of my soulmates and I am deeply in love with him. He is an intelligent, playful, easy-going, nonconformist, amazing person, and I just got lucky enough to find him before the rest of society noticed. I think he will make an awesome dad. I have no doubt that his inner calm will attract others as he is able to come into his own space in the world.

I am "bisexual" or "heteroflexible" when I am in intimate (trust-based), committed (which for me means time investment on both sides) relationships with other poly minded people I am also sexually attracted to. If any of those ingredients are missing, I am not generally open to intercourse. Right now I/we have all the sex I/we need, and it's amazing.

We are still in a transitional time of life, building our own family, career, and space in the world. I dream of sharing a home, tasks, and resources. I believe in complimentary differences and basic equality in relationships. I see the value in sharing responsibilities and accentuating strengths. I am strongly oriented towards tribal communities that are not really supported in today's society. And maybe, just maybe, we would be so compatible with, say another couple, that we could join forces in life, share resources and tasks, share laughter, support, and successes, buy a home even, raise our kids together... who knows how good it could be when you believe in multiplying instead of just adding. Somewhere out there, other people are thinking similar things and are daring to aim for more. This is just one more way that makes that slight chance of connecting not just a dream, but a possibility.
What I’m doing with my life
I am loving life. I am actively pursuing the next step in my career, but ever since I received my Master's degree in 2011, I just carry on and keep getting things done, no matter the obstacles. I hope to stay involved with issues I care about, especially social justice. And I hope to get even more involved. I will continue to deepen my relationships, invest in my health, and challenge myself to grow. What that probably looks like from the outside is a broad interest and fleeting focus, lol.
I’m really good at
Having too many lofty ideas to follow through with.
The first things people usually notice about me
...depends on the kind of people they are.

You might notice my humanoid appearance and state and deem me moderate or above average or deficient. You may experience me as friendly and open to interacting. Or maybe I will seem awkward. Or distant. You might categorize me as unthreatening and therefore mistakenly assume that I will be a follower, or even submissive. You may notice that I don't blend in with the herd very well. Or maybe you'll catch me at a moment when I am. Maybe you will find me intelligent and, occasionally, articulate. Maybe you'll think I am soothing or laid-back. Or formal and intimidating. If you're lucky, maybe you'll find me enthusiastic, passionate, joyful, and intense. Maybe.

I am all these things and it really depends on who you are. I like to think I'm pretty awesome. But you might need to live in the same awesomeness dimension to appreciate that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I enjoy serial sci-fi, fantasy, and Radiolab.

I always wish I had more time to read. I love Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!, The Selfish Gene, and The Philosopher in Arms, which was formerly Lion's Heart and Lion's Soul by Karen Wehrstein, now on There are a bunch of web-lit serials I read regularly. And where would I be without The Ethical Slut to inspire me?

Movies, movies... so many movies... If I have time to watch a movie I'll probably enjoy it greatly. Action, drama, documentary, children's movies, geeky movies... Just don't ask me to do horror.

I <3 Firefly and Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog... so very much. I love most geeky things... I'm an adorkable geek and proud of it! If you're an unorthodox nerd or geek, I'll probably be proud of you too. ;)

People are the reason I love music. I like a lot of it, but musicians, people, love... these things make music come alive to me and become as important as breathing. People make it possible for me to hear the world sing.

Luckily, I have Ping and Pandora to help me try to describe what kind of music I like. It's a long list.

I am always thrilled to meet other vegetarians. Vegans inspire me.
Six things I could never do without
~Good conversation- which usually requires someone who is reflective and who knows how to have an interesting, ever-changing conversation, despite the fact that a topic has come up before. The paradox to good conversation is good silence. Ahhh...
~Authenticity- You may be able to fool me, but you're also deluding yourself if you think that you can hide from who you are and still somehow have relationships. I think the paradox of authenticity is knowing when you don't need to give too much of yourself away, for example, to the untrustworthy.
~Social skills- are tricky, I admit! But we are social creatures and that's what makes life fun. =} I find the paradox of social skill is to be skilled in making others comfortable with you and knowing when it's more important to be uncomfortable and make others uncomfortable.
~Accountability- I cannot grow for you. I cannot make you healthier. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot convince you that you are truly special to me if you cannot believe it yourself. Obviously, you don't value this nearly as much until you have to live with a person who doesn't have this quality. I don't know what the paradox of accountability is. The reality that free will is an illusion probably. Something true that should not be acted on.
~Happiness- as a habit, a lifestyle, a moral obligation! For me, the paradox of deep happiness is also being comfortable with deep sorrow. <3
~Meaning- For we are the meaning makers. On the flip side, hoorah, uncertainty! =D
I spend a lot of time thinking about

all sorts of ideas, as shocking as that must be at this point. ;)

My current Harvest Moon game (ToTT).
My own growth and journey.
How awesome my life truly is, and yet how I need to keep making it more awesome.
The value of conflict and uncertainty.
My loved ones and our relationships.
Gender, power, privilege, and discrimination.
What defines lasting change in the world and how to achieve it.
These poorly constructed questions on okcupid!
Gir quotes, Adventure Time, or other things that make me laugh.

Lots of stuff!
On a typical Friday night I am
I think this question is more about what you spend time doing, and thus, value doing. Although I'm not the most consistent, and I need weekly action more than a daily frenzy, here are some things I have done, some of which I still do.

Yoga. Hiking. Running. Kayaking. Snowboarding. Learning about Ham radios or survival medicine. Reading a lot of books. Rereading my favorite books. Reading authors who post and interact with their readers online. Rocky Horror Picture Show. Comic-con. Wandering around my neighborhood or local shopping center. Singing or dancing in my car. Writing. Table top role playing. Karaoke. Being the singer in Rockband. Gardening. Taking care of my succulents. Bird watching. Meditating. Visiting different religious communities. Driving around southern California. Cosplay. Art walks. Painting. Drawing. Fabric art such as batik. Learning something new. Trying to start a workout routine... again.

Obviously, I don't keep all these time consuming hobbies up... but I like doing stuff. I've gotten to do some and I hope to do a lot more.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I fear an overuse of spellcheck has caused my spelling to decline!

Oh noes! First world problem!!!
You should message me if
...If a blunt response is fine. I don't have a lot of time to answer questions or mating calls. You have the Internet for research and good luck with the sex stuff.

**If you are or know a local couple who would like to be friends!** Good friends are important, so it's worth a shot. Although I am, and we are, poly allies, there is very little chance of poly-participation. I would be very happy if we could find another couple to live with, not sleep with.

Fellow humanists, moderates, critical thinkers, geeks, and nerds are still welcome to say hi, as usual. I will do my best to make time to respond!
The two of us