32Philadelphia, United States
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My self-summary
This month has been pretty rough, I keep spending all the money I make and after taking out a loan to pay my bills I spent all the loan money on about 5000 copies of Cyborg on Blu-Ray Disc. All I want this month is someone to help me watch all 5000 copies of aforementioned classic cinema. In return I will keep you company, take your kids to soccer practice, if you don't have kids I'll rewind your entire DVD collection all the way to the beginning of each movie. Also I'll give you a copy of Cyborg. I could also repay you with several used up copies of Guns N Ammo magazine from the early 2000's. I even have the one with the rare Holographic cover where two Bald Eagles are holding twin M16's in their talons while the American Flag is waving in the background.

Now for my about me:

Having spent the first few years on my own roaming the country as a Wesley Snipes impersonator I finally decided it was time to move on with my life. After a series of escalating dares I finally got married and moved to the murder capital of the Eastern Seaboard, Thrilladelphia. Where sirens are as common as ring tones and cheeseburgers are the legal tender. While I won't go into the details of my divorce (Lets just say it's never a good idea to jump into a cage of lions while wearing a hamburger suit) I will say I have a big insurance check coming my way so lets blow it all on all you can eat buffets and signed copies of "Goosebumps" by R.L. Stein.

On the weekends you can find me bullet proofing my house, vacuuming my sidewalk, and if my neighbors are away, selling their furniture. As far as my hobbies are concerned I love drinking, driving, and gambling. Sometimes it's a mix of one of the two or all of them at once. Nothing says I'm living life to the fullest like slugging down a bottle of Jack Daniels while driving down the highway and you're playing miniature roulette while you're on your way to A.C. Other hobbies I enjoy include scuba diving in the Delaware river, attending free cable modem conventions, watching 24 hour marathons of 24 on FX, and attending VHS swap meets. You have no idea how hard it is to find a mint condition copy of Rocky IV until you've really tried. I also enjoy many many more respectable activities such as underwater sailing and maxing out other peoples credit cards. In my spare time I like to volunteer at a local soup kitchen in Center City. It’s a great way to help the needy without actually touching them. As for the nightlife I like to attend places where the doorman hands you hundred dollar bills when you walk in or you can usually tell where I am by the amount of ambulances and burning helicopters in any given area. I've come to realize my life is just like anyone else's only more interesting because I can see ghosts that aren't really there.

I am Humorous, Hungry, and Pretty Strong
What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently living in the city and try to go out as much as I can. This may include staying up until dawn at a party in Philly or NYC, going to live comedy/music events, or just being out with friends at a local restaurant talking about the Singularity. On weekdays I usually don't mind staying in acting out my favorite movies in my living room, reading, and or doing research on my favorite subjects.

I'm always up to try new life experiences as long as they are exciting. Big Foot hunting from a helicopter perhaps? Base jumping off the Art Museum? Illegal shark fights? Count me in. Having been to every major city in the States and cross country trips across Canada I would like to travel to Europe at some point soon.
I’m really good at
Bench pressing cars, trucks, dogs you name it I can bench it. Also soothsaying. You provide the chicken bones and I'll provide you your fortune.
The first things people usually notice about me
When people first meet me I'm usually throwing my bank statements out the window of a black SUV while the air conditioning is on full blast. They may think I'm crazy but once they get to know me they usually tell me I'm the greatest person they've ever met.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
As far as books you can read go my favorites would involve the following words in the title. Werewolves, Robot Apocalypse, Photoshop, Space-Time, Offshore Money Havens, and Tax Evasion.

My favorite movies are Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, and Robocop.

As for my musical taste I mostly listen to movie soundtracks. Some of my favorites include the ones from the aforementioned movies as well as current favorite Hans Zimmer's Man of Steel.

Other types of music I enjoy are Techno in all of its variations, Electro, House, Indie Rock, 80's Freestyle, and much much more.

When it comes to food I only eat diamond encrusted Faberge Eggs from France.
Six things I could never do without
1. Internet II Its the sequel to the Internet only its faster and has more explosions.

2. Clothing. Without it we'd be arrested if we're anywhere near a school or movie theatre.

3. Time Travel

4. Numerous anthologies based on the life and times of Robocop. Especially his autobiography.

5. Jurassic Park

6. My skeleton. It keeps my flesh off the ground and my ghost inside my body.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What my obituary will read. I believe it will one day say:

1985 - 2037 Christian

Many knew of the man, but few truly knew him. Those that were closest to him have been mounting a vigil over his grave following his execution hoping for the resurrection promised in his latest book, "The Bible 2 - End Game". As yet their disappointment has only manifested itself in minor grumbling, but this may well turn into a full scale riot once the extent of this false prophets lies become evident.

The details regarding Christian's involvement in mass suicides by his followers are blurry at best, but more than sufficient for the death penalty to be brought back purely for him. One former member of his religion accused the self proclaimed prophet of encouraging his followers to fly, stating that their devotion would keep them aloft, before retracting the statement saying that he was "only kidding". Up to 7 million people died in this event.

His execution, televised around the world by Fox Global on behalf of President Murdoch (long may he reign) is one of the most viewed shows on FoxTube, and has resulted in a national holiday being announced in celebration.

Christian is survived by his 4 wives and 12 children, all of whom are being held in custody for crimes against the state.
On a typical Friday night I am
On a typical Friday night I can be found at the casino or assorted animal racing tracks betting on an underdog. I'm a sucker for a dog or donkey named Hercules or Rocky who looks like he hasn't eaten in twelve days. After loosing about five thousand dollars worth of counterfit bills in such an endeavor I usually resort to a nice swim in the Schuylkill River where I snorkel for hours while looking for underwater cities.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
1. I for one proudly support the closing of schools, libraries, & hospitals in order to boost our police forces cache of military grade weapons.

2. When it comes to having children I plan on just cloning myself so I can raise myself as my own son. I will be the best father a son who is me could ever hope for and I will have the best son I could ever wish for.
You should message me if
I’ve been dating quite a bit lately, getting back into the game. Much of what I’m trying to do, in addition to stealing a few identities here and there, is discover what I do and don’t find attractive in a woman. While I won’t bore you with a list of things that I do find attractive. Here are things I will no longer tolerate from anyone I'm dating:

-Lazy eye that tends to wander into the back of their head and when it comes back into full view it’s a different color
-Spending 30 minutes on the verge of tears talking about your ex and then calling me up at 4am and asking to borrow money.
-Pro-Lifers. If an accident happens, she has to at least consider giving up the kid to baby heaven or at least an orphanage. There’s just no way they make baby-seats for speedboats these days.
- Frequently having loud conversations with "God" like he was perched on her shoulder. Not like saying "Oh Lord help me" or something, but full blown yelling and arguing with God for over an hour.
- Belief that she could contact the past through her car radio.
- Belief that some people she knew were possessed by Ghosts that were going to start the apocalypse and that she might need to "send them to God".

If you don't do any of the previous things mentioned then I think we just might hit it off.
The two of us