In my spare time I'm an aspiring house music deejay. I think this makes me very cool. So far I've learned how to hit play on the Alesso essential mix. I'm pretty confident that means I've made it.
I think Google is sort of like the Wizard of Oz, except it does have all the answers. That, and it has enough $ to buy the Emerald City and put it in a room at Google headquarters, probably right next door to the indoor beach. Google's Oz probably isn't hiding behind a blanket using the Fake Caller ID app to trick people either.
2) My tattoos. Permanent tattoos are boring, I like to go with the fake neck tat from time to time so I can mix it up. The butterfly is a go to. Also, I killed a fly in the kitchen the other day and a teardrop tat is definitely in my future.
3) My witty sense of humor. I like to constantly tell people that I'm funny and clever, because there's nothing wittier (read: ironic) than someone explaining how clever they are right before they tell a bad joke.
I love books, mostly the ones with lots of pictures but some of the ones with just words are ok too.
I prefer to listen to suburban college kids turned rappers. There's nothing more genuine or musically inspiring than a kid making it rain in his own YouTube video with Daddy's money.
Seriously what happened to Amanda Bynes?
Occasionally when I lived in NYC I would sneak into Brooklyn wearing a suit and pass out job applications, while drinking Bud Light. Needless to say, the hipsters' minds were blown.
2) You're a zombie. (Didn't know this was a thing until coming on here)
3) You're still bitter they didn't pick you for the cast of Jersey Shore.
4) You're actually a middle aged dude sitting at home in your underwear.