In my spare time I volunteer at an animal shelter, play video games, take long walks, browse the internet for funny pictures of cats and spend far more time watching the history channel than I'd care to admit.
I won a beauty contest in Monopoly. Twice.
Yelling at the tv when sports are on
Building forts out of couch cushions
I don't mean to brag, but I know how to say "Hello, I am a werewolf." in three different languages (you never know when you might contract lycanthropy when traveling abroad).
I was also named Time's person of the year in 2006. (Bonus points if you just googled that)
TV: I love football and like hockey. Basketball is ok. As for shows; Rick and Morty, Breaking Bad, Lost, Lucky Louie, Tosh.0, Archer, Dexter, Parks and Rec, Community, Arrested Development, It's always sunny, Law and Order
Movies: Fight Club, Star Wars, Billy Madison, Gladiator, the Nolan Batman movies, The Hangover, The Thing, Anchorman, Back to the Future, Full Metal Jacket, The Avengers, Shaun of the dead and pretty much any zombie movie.
Music: I like most classic rock and some hip-hop, some of my favorites are Queen, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Eminem, Jay-Z, Kanye West
Games: FFT, Chrono Trigger, Portal 2, Terraria, pretty much any old JRPG
If I was a porn star, what would my name be? I can't decide between "Reginald Rageboner" and "Chad the Impaler".
I'm thinking of getting a Gangnam Style tattoo on my face, it seems like the kind of thing I'll never regret.
edit: got the tattoo, I regret nothing
edit2: I've made a terrible mistake
Why doesn't Netflix have a dating service? Like "Here are singles in your area who also watched Archer for 6 hours straight".
My roommates are both bald, so whose shampoo is that in the bathroom?
You would be willing to date a robot. Not for me, I'm uh... asking for a friend.
You don't have any stories about that time you were abducted by aliens, or a pile of torsos in the trunk of you car.
You've ever had one of your oxen injure itself fording the river and/or a member of your party has died of dysentery.
You are Morgan Freeman and want to narrate my life.
If I messaged you, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan