Okay, I need to add this since people don't seem to get it:
1) yes I'm in an open relationship. I'm here for whatever I might find, from platonic friendship to casual sex* or anything in between. My girlfriend is much the same, and if you and I and she end up friends, so much the better.
2) I take things at face value. If you talk in riddles and subtext I'm not going to understand you, and if you think I'm talking in riddles it's only going to end badly. Please be direct and honest, and assume that I'm doing the same.
* I don't care about sex, but physical intimacy is fun.
I am: Loyal ~ Honest ~ Intense ~ Kinky ~ Open-minded ~ Crazy ~ Tactile ~ Affectionate ~ Romantic ~ Non-judgmental ~ Thrifty ~ Generous ~ Kind ~ Hilarious ~ Idealistic ~ Intense ~ Inappropriate ~ Communicative ~ Aspergic ~ Literal ~ Oblivious ~ Polyamourous ~ Child at heart ~ Impulsive ~
I like: kissing, reading, watching butts and crotches, intimacy, feminism, intensity, imagination, being taken out of my comfort zone.
I hate: homophobia, slut shaming, transphobia, liars, prejudice, discrimination, dehumanizing mainstream porn.
I talk a lot about other people. This doesn't mean I prefer them over you, I just think about people a heck of a lot.
I also giggle a lot.
I can be, like, totes intellectual and shit.
I have zero interest in Harry Potter but I find Potterheads entertaining and endearing, along with members of fandoms in general. It's cool to be passionate about stuff. Geek on!
I love the sound of road trains.
I sleep badly in my bed but well in cars.
I have strings of LEDs all over my house. They're pretty :3
I love cold weather and hate hot weather. I overheat like crazy if I'm even slightly active, and I like to be active. I go ice skating in shorts and t-shirt and it's still too warm.
Also, cold weather makes for amazing cuddles!
I dislike wearing shoes. Or clothes in general for that matter. But especially shoes.
Cigarettes are vile. I don't much care if you smoke them when not around me but do not approach me if you reek of them and DO NOT let your smoke get on me. That shit is disgusting. If you do, I don't think we can be friends. Sorry, not sorry.
-Writing D/s erotica, apparently.
-Befriending ALL the cats.
-Catching things before they hit the ground.
-Hugs. I'm Adelaide's free hugs guy and I get great reviews. The world needs more hugs.
-Noticing sexual inyourendo
I'm really BAD at:
-Being on time.
-Remembering where the hell I parked my car.
-Picking up on body language and subtext.
-Related: Understanding people. They're all fucking crazy! Wait, does that mean I do understand them? o.O
-Remembering things. I'm terrible with names and faces, and if I don't get to know someone pretty well to begin with then I'm liable to forget anything and everything we've ever spoken about, although I do remember feelings. So, good communication early on is VITAL.
People tend to badly misjudge me. Appearances are deceiving.
I'll eat just about anything, although I probably won't like it.
TV: Doctor Who (duh), Daria, Game of Thrones, The Big Bang Theory, Red Dwarf, Elfen Lied, Battlestar Galactica, and Firefly. Etc.
Games: I'm first and foremost a PC gamer but some games are simply better on console - fighting games, driving games, beat-em-ups, etc. I do not play MMOs. MMOs are evil things which suck the life from people. I mostly game when I'm bored. It's certainly not an obsession, although I do get impassioned about it.
Phone & tablet: Pokémon Go, pinball, Scrabble, racing games, Slay, backgammon.
(PC) Deus Ex, Unreal Tournament, Civilization 4, Fallout 3 / Fallout: New Vegas, Killing Floor, TimeShift, Vampire - The Masquerade: Bloodlines.
(Xbox (360)) Dead or Alive series, Need for Speed series.
(DS) Tetris DS, Dead or Alive.
(Wii / Wii U) Mortal Kombat: Armageddon, Top Spin 3, Tiger Woods golf, Sports, Fit, Splatoon.
Xbone: Fallout 4.
Sony: Sony is evil. EVILLLLLLLL!
Books: eBook user here. Why do so many people hate on them? I read on my phone or, more commonly, my tablet.
I'm working my way through Larry Niven's entire collection, and I enjoy horror and science fiction in general, plus Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children series.
Music: I love music so much. It brings me to tears in the most wonderful way.
~The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return~
I have a decent range of tastes: celtic, dance, pop, rock, some classical, some metal, etc.
Mostly I listen to things I can dance to in clubs: Pink, Lady Gaga, Wynter Gordon, Rihanna, Cascada, Ke$ha, Basshunter, Skrillex, Nickelback, Sia, and Katy Perry.
I love music videos with slutty-looking women in them, like Ke$ha & Miley Cyrus. Yum.
I think Inception is highly overrated.
Movie genres: science fiction / action / comedy / drama / animated / thriller / tearjerker / cheesy b-movies, and some foreign stuff.
I bawled my eyes out watching Bridge to Terabithia in the cinema, and was still crying ten minutes after I left. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen. Much the same with The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
The ability to connect with people.
The Game of Thrones theme music.
Fuck your arbitrary numerical restrictions!
Philosophy, the (lack of) meaning of life, psychology, how much it sucks that karma isn't real, obsessing over mistakes. Efficiency. Usability. Language & communication. Utopia. Dystopia. Banana milkshakes.
Why people, women mostly, who are of perfectly average height think they're super short.
Why people are arseholes.
Why why why?
I lost my virginity at age 35.
When I see cute things I squee like a teenage girl.
I once decided to kill myself.
The word 'twatwaffle' amuses me.
I identify very strongly with movie scenes about trust and protection, like with a strong person protecting someone weak or vulnerable, and the bond they end up sharing. These scenes make me bawl my eyes out.
I'm a brony.
I may have masturbated to your photos.
I'm an intensely emotional person at times, and extremely cold and aloof at others. This has both positives and negatives. I'll probably end up either really liking you, being completely indifferent to you, or not being able to stand your presence.
Sometimes I really, really need a shoulder to cry on, and I don't have one.
Love and friendship are the driving forces in my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for those few people close to my heart. I need people in my life who can appreciate this, and ideally share it.
I dislike many people, but hate few. Even those who have screwed me over and betrayed me, I know there is much good they can do.
You're weird, outrageous, insane, broken, or fucked in the head.
You're brilliant, hilarious, manic, nerdy, and just a little bit hopelessly optimistic.