WickedMuse13
31 Philadelphia, United States
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WickedMuse13
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My self-summary
I am not concise, I talk a lot. If my profile is too "verbose", wordy, or long for you, then we can safely predict that we're not compatible.

I am a polyamorous, Feminist, atheist, slightly tomboyish, Geek of many fandoms.
I LOVE comic books, steampunk, cosplay, cartoons, books and movies (fantasy, science fiction, horror, comedy). I love storytelling; good communication* is something I do not take lightly- I have much to say and I am never impressed by those who have nothing to say. I love the arts- literature, music, museums, theater- especially theater, I pine for the stage. I like camping, hiking, and the outdoors, but if the Charmin bears aren't shitting in the woods neither am I.

I'm a social addict, ENFP-A / ESFP-T, my primary Love Languages for receiving affection are touch and time, I relate heavily to the Audrey Hepburn quote "I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." My fascination triggers are Lust and Vice.(http://www.howtofascinate.com/get-my-profile)

I've been to a lot of events, Philly Wizard World, Wicked Faire, Dorian's Parlor, Gilded Festival, Steampunk World's Fair 2013, NYCC Comic Con 2015, DragonCon 2015, PoNYCon 2016, Philly Ren Faire 2014-2015, New World Magischola Summer 2016.

I am fiercely loyal to my friends, and honest to a fault. Nothing earns my trust like honesty (full, open disclosure without loopholes, blind spots, or playing 20 questions), consistency, and dedication to the free will of maintaining a relationship that we both want and are consenting to.

I am looking for quality partner material, someone who has time to date and is open to having a relationship. I practice non-hierarchical, less "couple-privilege" oriented polyamory than is typical in most poly circles, but I need consistent, reliable, and structured relationships and corresponding labels, as well as clear boundaries and expectations, too much to be a relationship anarchist.
I'm attracted to men who are confident, funny, honest, and articulate.
I practice polyamory that allows all partners involved to experience the full spectrum of physical and emotional attachment- no second-class partners, no power trips, and no romantic glass ceilings.
I believe that love happens and lasts when we weigh the positive traits of a person we like with more value than we weigh their flaws, otherwise we can never see the true value of a person let alone be romantically compatible with them.
Potential metamours MUST be polyamorous and comfortable with me, if they don't want me around, if they distrust me, or my presence causes insecurity, or we're just not compatible, the relationship WILL NOT WORK.
I'm not into swinging, dating couples, cuckolding, or casual sex.

*I define "good communication" as: carefully considered articulation of one's thoughts, plans, feelings, and opinions; complete honesty and full disclosure without "semantic loopholes", as well as clear standards of definitions for words and concepts. This also means direct statements that provide clear answers, especially about things that you do/not want to do, I prefer candor over roundabout excuses that I have to translate to be considerate of you.

Mystery and anonymity are turn offs.
For the D&Ders out there- I am looking for a man wants someone to quest with, a partner who is on your team. I am NOT Princess Buttercup or the Childlike Empress, and I'm not looking for someone with a hero complex and a misguided, outdated sense of "honor". If your profile talks about how "words/text can't really describe you" or how you "can't be summarized", then you sound like a one dimensional extra in the scene and I don't want to quest with you.
But if Princess Lili and Evelyn Carnahan O'Connell are more your type, then you're in the right place.
What I’m doing with my life
I am a writer and a performer. I write fiction- mostly fantasy and horror, some historic fiction/steampunk (no, I'm not published). I perform in plays, Philly Ren Faire, and was recently in a burlesque troupe. I make costumes when I can afford them, and go to conventions/events when I can afford to. (The best way to ask me about my writing is in person, but not about my "writing process". And the best way to talk to me about my cosplays is to talk to me about the source material or your favorite characters rather than asking what my favorite cosplays are.)

I work at a popular bar in Old City, and I really love it. Previous awesome jobs include being a gatekeeper for an animatronic dinosaur exhibit in The Academy of Natural Sciences, a candy clerk at Shane Confectionery, and being Princess Anna at children's birthday parties (Best. Job. Ever.)

I eat a lot of junk food and take out (I don't like to cook), and watch cartoons or movies when the rest of the East Coast is asleep.
I'm also in a long distance relationship with a great guy, the two hour drive is worth it.
I’m really good at
Writing, making costumes, crafts, acting (I'm told), talking (it still surprises me how inadequate some people are at talking), working with kids, being loyal to people I care about, believing in the good in people, trivia and word games like Catch Phrase, being exuberant, entertaining kids (Especially by dressing up like a princess), listening to people without judging, making people smile, speaking honestly and directly- including saying things that provoke males to be dickstumps*.

*For the definition and usage of the term "dickstump" visit this blog
The first things people usually notice about me
People usually notice that I am loud, energetic, and talkative but easy to talk to. As for aesthetics, I suppose they notice my height because I'm 5'2 with a big personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: His Dark Materials- Philip Pullman; Wicked- Gregory Maguire; Feminist Fairytales- Barbara Walker; Dance of the Dissident Daughter- Sue Monk Kidd; The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde; The Canterbury Tales- Geoffrey Chaucer. Authors in general- Stephen King, Clive Barker, Edgar Alan Poe, William Shakespeare (Comedies).

Movies: (By Year)
The Philadelphia Story, Cover Girl, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Funny Face, Some Like It Hot, Animal House, The Muppet Movie, The Blues Brothers, Legend, Labyrinth, The Princess Bride, Spaceballs, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Tank Girl, The Fifth Element, Big Fish, Howl's Moving Castle, The Stepford Wives, MirrorMask, Stranger Than Fiction, Pan's Labyrinth, Coraline, Let Me In, The Cabin in the Woods, Brave, Guardians of the Galaxy,

Shows: Mork & Mindy, The Muppet Show, I Love Lucy, Doctor Who, The Twilight Zone, The Addams Family, Parks & Rec, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Wander Over Yonder (but only the Dominator episodes). Classic Nicktoons/Cartoon Network. I like a lot of the cartoons that have been airing since Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend of Korra, even the things with a younger demographic have been featuring consistent themes of building social and communication skills, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution without violence like Steven Universe and My Little Pony: FiM (seriously, ask me about this).

Music: Arcati Crisis, Lindsey Stirling (I want to LIVE in her world), The Dresden Dolls, Psyche Corporation, 1920s music (as heard on WHRO), This Way to the Egress, Laura Shay, Idina Menzel, P!nk, Bette Midler, Billy Joel.

Food: I love when people want to cook for me or take me out because I hate cooking. My favorite restaurant is That's Amore in Collingswood, NJ (some of THE best Italian food I've ever had). My food favorites are cheesesteaks, pasta, pizza, Chickie's & Pete's crab fries with cheese, GooGoo Clusters, Whirly Berley candy bars, and Franklin Fountain root beer floats

Comic Books: X-Men, Gotham City Sirens, Harley Quinn, Black Canary, Zenesope's Fairy Tales and Wonderland series.
The six things I could never do without
Writing Supplies- I can't just leave my thoughts and imaginings buzzing around inside my head, I can either stay up all night writing or sleep poorly from dreaming all night, but mostly I just love telling stories!
Entertainment- books, music, movies, people!
Food- this seems obvious, but no, I really LOVE food! I take eating more seriously than some other people it seems- I don't eat food that I don't like, I like to relax while eating, and I communicate very clearly about when I need to eat within a two hour range, mostly because I used to starve, while working in a restaurant!
Freedom, Truth, Feminism, and Love
Friends/Loved Ones- I'm a social addict, I thrive being around a lot of people. The emotional support is also invaluable to me, because remembering the kind words of friends is one of the best ways to stop some of the nonsense that clutters my thoughts sometimes.
Comfortable shoes
Abreva- I have gotten cold sores/fever blisters since I was a child.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Writing, books, costumes, steampunk, zombies, school, horror movies, comic books...

How our culture values "niceness" and "Guess Culture" over honesty and direct communication, and where people stand in that spectrum...

How removing the "Mandatory" option from OKCupid's question/answer rankings has severely deteriorated the quality and accuracy of the site's match percentage system.
Why people covet their jealousy, are selfish enough to expect one person to fulfill their every need, and settle for less than the maximum amount of love they can give/receive by only believing in "the one"...

How modern children's programming actively and intelligently counters toxic masculinity, teaches healthy relationship skills and active, direct communication, while also creating content reprograms negative messages, attitudes, and habits in adults.
On a typical Friday night I am
Going on a date, seeing a movie or a play (preferably the latter), making costumes, performing, spending time with my friends.

Sometimes I go to awesome conventions and end up on podcasts like this one, Pedestrian Podcast is amazing, in case you haven't heard.
http://www.lifeontheswingset.com/15017/pedestrian-polyamory-45-live-from-atlanta-poly-weekend/
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have HSV-1, yes that's herpes, you might call it a "fever blister" or "cold sores" but let's be mature, this is not just sexually transmitted, most people don't know they have HSV even if they have outbreaks.
I also test positive for Human Papillomavirus (HPV), the strain I have puts me at risk for cervical cancer. I thought I was making safe decisions, which means I have to reset my boundaries to be safer, I'm more afraid that it was transmitted via someone I trusted in a long-term relationship and not from someone I was only with a few times. And think twice before you tell someone you're clean, there is no test for men, you could be spreading it and not even know.

I sometimes have anxiety attacks or mild depression, I do a lot of the work and psychoanalyzing on my own, which sometimes means fixating on my problems to work them out. I spend a lot of time trying to stay mentally healthy, sometimes this means sleeping a lot, or not drinking alcohol. It also means that I pay a lot of attention to my mood, I think a lot about why I feel the way I do and what fuels the thoughts that go through my head, I value being rational and reasonable as much as possible.

I'm hypersensitive to certain scents, the smell of pot, cigarettes/cigars, patchouli, and even lavender, cause overstimulation, headaches, and nausea.

I'm messy and I'm always late. People who dislike me perceive me as "childish and attention seeking", they are overwhelmed by my commitment to ask/tell culture. Alternatively, people who like me value my childlike enthusiasm and sense of wonder; my loud, flamboyant, social personality; my clear assertion of needs and boundaries; and my direct, honest communication style. You either view these traits as pros or cons, as positive or negative, but how you view them determines our compatibility. These are things that have deeply influenced my relationships my whole life, and it has been tremendously hurtful to have people claim they accepted or liked these things about me, when they actually (or eventually) resented them.
You should message me if
You read my "Most Private" section and the details written there are not dealbreakers.

You are Polyamorous (as in open to loving multiple partners), and your wife/girlfriend is also poly. Seriously, your partner HAS to be on board or I can't have a romantic/physical relationship with you. When you are/she is in denial about this, I'm the one who gets hurt/voted off the island. I have a high standard of poly-positivity, this includes being open-minded; able to share; an articulate, informative communicator; self-confident; honest and forthright about relationship expectations/limitations (rules/ lack of rules); and responsible for your own time management and scheduling.

I'm looking for a partner who can keep double booking, plan cancellations, and checking in with others for every plan to a minimum. A shareable electronic calendar is an extremely valuable tool, start one, stick to it, and hold people accountable when they don’t update it.

Intelligence is sexy. I also love to laugh and making other people laugh, I'm not afraid to be ridiculous for comedy, so I hope you're willing to be silly too.

If you want to date me you'll have to say so, and if I want to date you I'll say so. Also I have a narrow view of the definition of "date/dating", the purpose is to determine if attraction is possible and desired and pursuing that attraction in the form of a relationship.

You are sex-positive AND believe in consent. My enthusiasm is usually clearly expressed, I am not afraid to initiate or reciprocate physical contact if I’m attracted to you. I like when men are not afraid to be affectionate with/close to me, all of the best first kisses I’ve ever had were initiated by my date.

Match percentages matter! Your profile page is your dating resume, and your message is your cover letter. Being poly doesn't mean that this isn't a competitive field, if you don't want to put the effort into this site, then you probably don't want a relationship with me.

I'm into Dr. Daniel Jackson (SG-1), John Sheppard (Atlantis), David Tennant- Tenth Doctor and Rory Williams-Pond (Doctor Who), Gambit (X-Men: The Animated Series), Gomez Addams types.

If you're looking for a babysitter who is not going to be weird about your alternative lifestyle. I'm great with kids, all fears about kids expressed in this profile are strictly internal based on my own psychological wounds from having damaging adults in my life. I have a pretty high success rate of kids being magnetically drawn to me and they decide I pass for acceptable "adult supervision".

DEALBREAKERS
Please do not message me if you are any of the following:
A smoker, racist, homophobic, extremely religious/spiritual, sex-negative/slut-shaming, or a misogynist.
Conflict-avoidant, indirect, passive communicators tend to hate me or the rest of my former polycule. We never asked anyone to sell their soul to become friends with us, we're either compatible with you or we're not. As adults, one of the perks is deciding who we actually hang out with.
I don't want to get high with you, I don't want to hear about your penis, and I don't want to be propositioned for one night stands, threesomes, cuckolding, modeling, or anything to do with 50 Shades of Grey.
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