37Old Orchard Beach, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a gay/queer guy in a long term poly relationship. Up until recently, I lived with my husband and my boyfriend, but the boyfriend has gone his own way, though we remain friendly. I also have a pretty serious partner down in Boston, and other in NYC.

I'm looking ideally for a meaningful emotional/romantic relationship with another partner, but I'm also totally open to a FWB (with the "friend" being as important as the benefits), or play partners.

Physically I try to keep in good shape between biking and hitting the gym, but I've let that slip some over the last few months. I have a number of tattoos and piercings, but I won't scare mom if you bring me home to meet her.

I spend a lot of time with a camera in my hands, and I also enjoy reading, biking, hiking in the woods, and visiting museums or other interesting places. I'm something of an information sponge, and I'm constantly learning new things, especially about history and how things work, be they machines, business models, or anything else.

It's worth mentioning that in my erotic life I am quite kinky, although I'm open to and enjoy non-kinky activities and relationships too. That said, if you think being kinky or poly is "wrong" or want someone to "save" I am really not your guy (learned that the hard way).

If you have a Fetlife account and want to know more about me from that perspective, my profile is:
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a photographer, working both in mainstream photography (mostly landscapes and portraits) and in the alternative lifestyles world (mostly kink and body modification). I love capturing images that reveal something about the world that is usually hidden or unobserved. My mainstream work is at: and my (very) NSFW photography is at

I'm also a kink, spirituality, and LGBT issues educator, and up until a couple of years ago, I was the assistant producer for a BDSM event company. I do sales and marketing consulting in and out of that industry on the side.

LGBTQ activism is important to me and I was an associate editor, and regular contributor to the LGBT politics and culture blog "The Bilerico Project" for a number of years.

My spiritual beliefs and practices are a significant part of my life. I am a polytheistic pagan and involved in the pagan community as a religious leader and as an educator. That said, my spirituality is my own, and I don't expect everyone I'm involved with to share it. But like with the kink, I'm not interested in folks trying to "save" me or convert me to their faith or lack thereof.
I’m really good at
Public speaking. I may be happiest when speaking in front of a group about something I care about. I've done everything from recreational and academic conferences, to internet video, storytelling shows/podcasts, and have even been in two TV documentaries.

Being a photographer, I like to think I'm "really good" at that too, although I'm always trying to push myself and improve.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a fondness for fabulous and unusual glasses.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
It's hard to have a favorite book, I'm a big reader. Sci-fi and fantasy books remain a love of mine, but I also have a good collection of historical and military non-fiction, and a terrible weakness for M/M romance novels.

Fiction Authors: Tanya Huff, Ilona Andrews, Jack McDevitt, Lynn Flewelling, Anne Bishop, David Weber, Heidi Cullinan, Amy Lane, Eli Easton, TJ Klune, John Scalzi, and Andy Weir gets a mention simply because I loved The Martian *so hard*.

I listen to podcasts quite regularly as well. My favorite podcasts include The Dollop, The Risk! Podcast, Planet Money, 99% Invisible, Reply All, Snap Judgement, Radiolab, This American Life, Ask Me Another, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and My Favorite Murder (a guilty pleasure).

I'm a fan of movies and TV too, although I can't really go to movie theaters. @Midnight, Last Week Tonight, Full Frontal w/Samantha Bee, and The Daily Show, are regular watches for me, and I miss the shit out of The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore. I've also seen every episode of Air Crash Investigations (many times) because I'm a giant dork. And other than that, I watch tons of documentaries, anime, and the occasional action or comedy flick. Right now I'm loving every moment of Yuri on Ice.
Six things I could never do without
-My glasses, I'm blind as a bat without them
-My partners, lovers, and family (of choice & birth)
-Modern medicine
-Some way to express myself creatively, be it a way to write, take pictures, or an audience to tell stories to
-My spiritual life and faith
I spend a lot of time thinking about
All manner of things, from politics to spirituality, science and invention to science fiction, deep thoughts to bad puns.

And of course sex, from both a personal and professional perspective.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either on the road presenting, editing photos, reading, watching TV or a movie online, or participating in an online discussion group.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Ok, it's not really private, in that there's no real way to keep it a secret, but I have Tourette Syndrome. I don't have coprolalia (the "swearing" tics), but I do have some pretty noticeable symptoms.
You should message me if
- My profile was interesting to you
- You are experienced with/open to polyamorous relationships
- Talking about sex doesn't bother you. Given what I do for work...
- You aren't transphobic! While I am cis-gender, many of my closest friends and some of my partners are trans. Transphobia is a deal breaker for me.
- You know what an "intactivist" is and/or are one yourself
- You can be civil to someone with a non-traditional faith
- If the idea of going shooting (photos or guns), having sex (of some form), and watching a documentary or comedy show over a dinner of Thai food sounds like an awesome day to you.
The two of us