28 Saint Petersburg, United States
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My self-summary
My name is Joey. It's short for Joseph, long for Joe. My favorite color is yellow. My favorite Ninja Turtle is Michelangelo. In my junior high yearbook, I was voted most kind AND most creative. I consider Snapchat an extension of my art. Your parents would probably love me but I don't want to meet them. I don't have cable or internet so I'm somewhat of a philosopher and a pimp in that regard.

I like; George Carlin, jumping over my couch, bottom shelf rum and people who go along with knock knock jokes.
I don't like; Seth MacFarlane, statists, bottom shelf rum or oxford commas.
What I’m doing with my life
The goal is to become president, fire everybody and quit.
I’m really good at
Parallel parking, being on time, telling the difference between the Olson twins, solving Rubik's Cubes real fast and finding my way around buildings I've never been in.
The first things people usually notice about me
Height, hair, high-top sneakers, devilish good looks.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books; A Wolf At The Table by Augusten Burroughs, Born Standing Up by Steve Martin, 1984 by George Orwell, Generations by William Strauss & Neil Howe, Practical Anarchy by Stefan Molyneux.

Movies; Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, Man On The Moon, Moon, The Outsiders, Evil Dead II.

Shows; I have a bunch of Simpsons DVDs. That's about it.

Music; Eminem, Alkaline Trio, Antarctigo Vespucci, Cobra Skulls, The Flatliners, The Menzingers, Elvis Costello, The Misfits, The Who, Sum 41, Sondre Lerche, Sugar Ray.
I enjoy listening to albums straight through.

Food; Italian or breakfast for any meal.
The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-ancient civilizations
-how I would use superpowers if I had them
-words that rhyme
-words that kind of rhyme
-if Nicky & Alex on Full House were quadruplets(don't tell me)
On a typical Friday night I am
Working then hanging out with my dog.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One time, I was on Space Mountain and all the lights turned on. I stopped believing in magic that day.

Also, I'm serious about the president thing.
You should message me if
...you're interested in wasting your time for a month then being estranged forever.

Seacrest out.