41Culver City, United States
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My self-summary
In the third grade, my Language Arts instructor gave the class an assignment: write a two to three paragraph personal essay explaining what you would do if you had one wish. My eyes lit up. This was the kind of brain exercise I had been waiting for. Constantly reprimanded for reading too much fiction, I finally had the chance to flex my imagination.

I penned what I still consider to be one of my best essays ever, entitled, "If I Was 100 Feet Tall." In those three paragraphs, I chronicled my journey through jungles where I'd converse eye-to-eye with giraffes while parrots flew round my head, and explained how I'd walk across the Atlantic ocean. It was a hoot. Truly, it was the most fun I had ever had with schoolwork up to that point. Yep, that's right. It even beat out finger-painting in kindergarten.

The next day, we all arrived in class eager for feedback on our magna opera. However, the teacher entered the room with a solemn look that instantly drained the class of its energy. She began a presentation on gigantism; it was a cautionary tale about a man known as the Alton Giant. "Sonuvabitch, she's calling me out," I thought. At first, I was mortified, but that quickly gave way to anger. She explained that this gentle giant died at the age of 22 due to his medical condition. The moral of her story: be careful what you wish for.

I had been set up.

Two things happened as a result. One, it spawned a lifelong mistrust for institutionalized authority. Two, I decided to ignore her practicality and promise myself to never stop imagining what might be, because who wants to live in a world where third-graders have to worry about the consequences of being 100-feet tall?

I also really like the Wu-Tang Clan.

[To the dozen+ people who have sent me a message telling me how sad this anecdote made them, you're reading it wrong. To the girl who wrote me and said, "Damn, I literally just burst into laughter at work when I got to I also really like the Wu-Tang Clan," you totally get it.]
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a writer, which I know can be a bad word in LA. So, to be clear, I'm not one of those guys that just sits in a coffee shop without a real job. I'm employed and established. Though, I do like sitting in coffee shops.
I’m really good at
Tetris and bourbon sipping.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I have more tattoos than you'd expect.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like things like hole-in-the-wall cafes and dive bars that make you happy you wandered off the beaten path, and all things a little odd and unique. Lots of art too.

Movies: I'm a major film nerd so this list would be too long. Favorites tend to be indie, foreign, and sci-fi.

Books: Literature, graphic novels, and science stuff.

Music: Very eclectic. Basically, everything except country (a few minor exceptions).

TV: Game of Thrones, Atlanta, Rick and Morty, Stranger Things, Westworld, Always Sunny.
Six things I could never do without
salted caramel anything
sparkling water
the creative life
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where my next passport stamp will come from. Also, how much I miss thunderstorms.

Oh, and this quote:

"The amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way they could get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today." -Lawrence M. Krauss
On a typical Friday night I am
Who wants a typical anything?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One time I voted Republican just to see how dirty I'd feel.
You should message me if
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -Jack Kerouac
The two of us