30Pittsburgh, United States
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My self-summary
I have decided to include a template in my profile to help others in the creation of their own profile! It's difficult to be original, I know, but with this handy template, you can't possibly go wrong.

[Begin with disclaimer about not really wanting to using this site, but using it anyway. Be sure to reference that a friend recommended the site to you - the more you distance yourself from the site, the more insecure you look, and everyone loves insecurity! Spelling is overrated - you're searching for a date, not writing a paper for your English professor, am I right or am I right?

Don't be afraid to add a lot of history about yourself. When people tell you that they don't want to hear your life story, it's because they actually want to hear your life novel!

Remember, the more you write, the better. After all "Brevity is the soul of wit" which I'm pretty sure means you should write a shit ton.]
What I’m doing with my life
[Be sure to be as vague as possible - everybody loves a mystery, especially about whether you're employed or not!]
I’m really good at
[Talking about things you can do while inebriated is appropriate here. Remember, being wasted is hilarious, and discussing whatever dumb stuff you do while wasted (like drunk-dialing the ex, pissing on beds, or eating at taco bell) is good content.]
The first things people usually notice about me
[Regardless of what this template says, you're probably going to put "my eyes" because having a section about "The First Things People Usually Notice About Me" is pretty stupid in the first place".]
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
[This paragraph is for your interests. Make sure you state that you enjoy laughing and having fun, because there's lots of people who hate laughing and having fun, and this could be a serious dealbreaker later on.

I recommend against saying that you "enjoy" stuff you were forced to read at high school, like Moby Dick or Tale of Two Cities. Because everyone knows that nobody born after 1950 actually enjoyed either of those novels, and even if you did, you definitely shouldn't tell anyone about it.

Also if you talk about music, make sure that you just say you love "everything" except, of course, rap music.]
Six things I could never do without
[Make sure to mention water or air, because that's extremely original and hilarious!]
I spend a lot of time thinking about
[You're going to end up lying here, so don't worry about it. Everybody does on this section]
On a typical Friday night I am
[If the person reading your profile has made it this far, they probably already know]
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
[This is an OKC version of a trick question! Despite what the question is asking, nobody really wants to hear about what you do with your used condoms, dirty tampons, or how you had to use the sink instead of the toilet when it got clogged. Nobody.]
You should message me if
...you like/want to go hiking or cycling, message immediately.

...you can read between the lines.

...you can give me some decent book recommendations. I have a pretty bad habit of suffering through terrible books after I start them because I'm a completionist like that. So I try not to start them in the first place unless I'm pretty confident that they're not going to suck.

And for those who need something to go off of: I love listening to music (anything but rap), laughing, and just having fun!
The two of us