I am caring, honest, and anachronistic
I am a hopeless romantic who does not know enough to give up hope, even after repeatedly having the soul torn from my body by liars and deceivers and people who would rather use me as they would a kleenex.
I have also pretty much given up on this or any other site working for me. Prove me wrong? Friends are a welcome change from my loneliness.
I don't agree with the less emotional tag at the bottom of this profile, perhaps I haven't taken tests or answered questions that indicate just how emotional I am and can be. I do admit to embracing logic and reason, and that I like to think of myself as a Vulcan-in-training, but learning to control emotions and make good choices is not the same as not having feelings or emotions at all.
I have been accused of being too nice; if you are looking for a bad boy who won't treat you half as well as I would, there are plenty of other profiles for you to read. If you make the foolish assumption that my being a nice guy means I can't possibly be interesting in the bedroom, let alone outside it, then you are sadly mistaken. I shake my head for you and give you the same advice, there are other profiles for you to read.
If a rain storm and thunder gets your adrenaline flowing like it does mine, if the laugh or smile of a child you don't even know makes your heart sing, if you could give up every material thing you own and still believe in happiness, if Thomas Jefferson and John Adams are your hero, then we might have something in common.
If you have ever rushed out into a torrential downpour or near blizzard so that you can help a pet or save a wild creature, then you might understand me. Conversely, if you have ever worried yourself sick over the most efficient and humane way to euthanize a suffering creature for which nothing else can be done, you probably do understand me.
If your religion or your drugs rule your world, we are most likely not compatible. I can be 420 friendly, and candy is dandy but liquor is quicker is ok too. If you need any harder drug than that, please move along unless you would like help in quitting, I can be non-judgmental. If you need a mythical magical being to hold your hand (a deity) instead of a person (hopefully me), move along.
I will expand this more later, but for now I will simply post this poem. I wrote this about 12 years ago, I have never changed it as I have some of my other works, and it still makes me cry today. Because, not for lack of wanting to, I have never done any of these things with someone I cared about. It is simple, but it is a very basic part of me.
Watching the sun set every night
Running in the spring rains
Feeding the ducks by a river
Walking through the park holding hands
Sharing a hug and a soda at the movies
Dancing in the moonlight, alone
Candlelit dinners at home
Saturday morning cartoons
Watching the sun rise every morning
I guess what I am doing with my life right now is looking for someone who will not lie to me or use me.
Being terribly shy about some (not all) things, I find that I envy people who dance. I don't know how, never learned, never went to even one sock hop...and certainly not Prom or anything else. But I worked in theatre as a Lighting Tech, so I do have an excellent sense of timing even if my rhythm might be a little off.
Anyone want to learn with me, or teach me, to dance? I always thought that I might like myself more if I could manage to let go. Perhaps ballroom dancing would be a good start, I'm not sure.
Some people notice that my head is round. Not many angles too it, nice and round. Makes shaving it a bit trickier, and as you saw in one of my pics, I do shave it quite often. I decided years ago to accept that genetics have pressed me toward early baldness, so I embrace it instead of being embarrassed by it. I'm told it allows for better grip when it is smooth too.
I never understood why, but even when I am in a bad mood sometimes, random strangers will open up to me and tell me their deepest problems. Maybe I just bring that out in people, maybe they see someone who might listen and offer comfort or advice. I've never asked, just tried to help as best I can.
The best thing is a good short story. My opinion is that one must craft such a story to be powerful and immediate in its grip of the reader. You have limited yourself to the short form, so every word counts, every nuance, every subtext. You are trying to paint a vivid picture and have chosen to use less then the proverbial 1000 words to do it; that's my take on what GOOD short stories are like. Not enough pages to waste on excess, you have to describe the scene and your characters and your point in the most efficient manner possible, while still allowing creativity to flourish.
I think they are harder to write correctly than novels. No extra chapters to use for clarifying. Get it right the first time. When an author succeeds in this, I find I enjoy those works more than most anything else I might read.
MOVIES: Bogart! Cagney! Cary Grant! and a few others I suppose. SciFi movies with "science" in them (see above about stories). The Black Cauldron (disney movies where noone dies just don't have the same effect on me; sorry, but Pocahontas died not lived happily ever after.) Not to mention that I identify very closely with Gurgi's self sacrifice.
Also, just about anything off-the-wall or seemingly unique will get a screening by me. (Run Lola Run, The Big Lebowski, Guy Ritchie films, too many others to list.)
FOOD: Polish ethnic (similar to much of german and russian but my family origin was Polish).
Sandwiches! Dagwood has nothing on me! Ok, well maybe he has a couple things, like the ability to keep those sandwiches stacked so high. But my sandwich artist skills are FAR beyond anyone who ever worked at a subway.
My Cats (someday they may let me have another dog, I haven't had one in years and I miss them.)
My computer, at least until they finish that chip they can install in my brain with the encyclopedia, dictionary, thesaurus, and an external EEPROM port so I can upload my books. I find i-pods too restrictive and prefer the cranial interface idea. BTW, would reading in my head count as mental masturbation? =P They are also working on a retinal display (no BS) so I guess I'd have to wait for that too.
My books, oh the feel of a good short story anthology in my hands is hard to beat. Why don't you come try and distract me, I'm sure you'll succeed.
Earl Grey Tea, hot and only a little sweet. Oolong is a close second.
More to come
Ask me a question you think most people would lie to, or at least, attempt to conceal their true feeling or answer to. I might surprise you.
If you want to talk to someone who is just a bit "touched" in the head as they used to say, someone who doesn't see the world in the same way as anyone else.
If you want someone who is willing to give himself 100% to you. I might get hurt by saying this, I have in the past I think, but I am loyal like a dog. Once you have that loyalty, it is near impossible for me to break it.
If you need a devious RPG Dungeon Master (or a player) for a good session of D&D, Shadowrun (bit rusty) or *cough* Gamma World though most people have never even heard of that last one.
If you read this whole profile and didn't blink, groan, or cry out in fear, then you have gone past the point where most of the world writes me off as useless or crazy for only the reason that I am not like "they the world" think I should be. On that basis alone you should probably message me.