26Indianapolis, United States
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My self-summary
I wish I could change my body type to "Tore up from the floor up."

Your cat or dog will probably understand me a little better.

I commonly find myself on here when I can't sleep.

I take better care of other people than i do myself. Which usually doesn't end well for me.

Super optimistic.

The most laid back person you may ever meet. I can have fun doing anything and i can find the positive in nearly every situation.

Right now I'm probably indulging in fine flowers and singing Randy Newman.

Even Hitler had a girlfriend. I'm literally less desirable than Hitler.

What I’m doing with my life
Reflecting on the past experiences I've had with cheesecake. Filming/sound man extraordinaire. Installing audio and video systems as well as office furniture installation. But I, somehow, someway, keep coming up with funky ass shit like every single day.
I’m really good at
Stroking the shaft, working the pipe, and subsequently swallowing the gravy.

I'm a cat whisperer in my free time.

I can do nearly any guitar solo with my mouth.
The first things people usually notice about me
My boyish charm, of course.... Then my great set of tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Ender's Game
Everybody poops
The holy bible

Don't be a menace
Plenty of Mel Brooks

South Park
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Arrested Development
Anything that can hold my attention.

Late 80's/early 90's death metal
Old school funk
Terrible 80's pop
Classical and jazz

Spicy food > food.
Six things I could never do without
Other than food, air and all that jazz..

My life would literally end the day I can no longer eat cheese.

In the event that Dave Chappelle dies, I will give up on all things.

I will spontaneously combust the very moment that I'm not able to express my inner being.

I'll lose the will to live as soon as all the buffets are shut down.

If I couldn't sing and dance to 80's music, I would have already pulled the trigger.

The day that people stop making cheesecake is the day that I lose all faith in myself and humanity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How do I fit all dat ass in my jeans?

If I were a boy, how different would my life be?

If I never hopped on the gravy train, would I still be this much of a floozy?

I often wonder what I'm talking about. Half of the time, i have no idea.
On a typical Friday night I am
In a 40-year-old, married mans bed. Lying in a bed full of cats. Pretending to be the thinking man when I use the restroom, number one or number two. I only do that on Friday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You're the meaning in my life. You're the inspiration.

I have the soul of a 40-year old black man.

I am very experienced in love making, I borrow heavily from the Latin culture.
You should message me if
You want me to sing a love song to you. Eight out of eleven times, that song will be Kiss From a Rose.
The two of us