I'm not your average kind of guy. I'm an attorney, which makes me about 78% douche. This is mitigated by my hilarity. I play with Lego. I have a Persian cat named Misha. She pretty much hates everyone but me. This makes me feel special.
I love fish. I have five saltwater tanks. I'm too lazy to go into more detail, but take my word for it, they are pretty kewl. I was once going to buy a shark. I didn't.
I have lived in seven countries and can speak five languages. I only mention this to impress you ladies with my worldliness. I once dated a girl who thought the capital of Italy was France. This is unacceptable. I grew up in Italy and would love to meet a girl who can speak Italian. Obviously, like everyone else on earth, I enjoy traveling.
I am very fascinated by paleontology. My favorite extinct megafauna is the Paraceratherium. If I had a time machine I would go back to the Eocene, then I would berate myself for not going back one day before a lottery and getting the winning numbers. I am also an amature World War II historian. And I play the drums... whatever the hell that has to do with the rest of this paragraph.
If you're into Affliction wearing meatheads, let me know. I borrowed and never returned a shirt from a friend and it just so happens to be Affliction, I will put it on for you and pretend to be illiterate. We can go rent a Ferrari and hit up the club. But goddamn you would have to be so incredibly hot for that to ever happen...
Not sold? I'll let my reviews do the talking:
"A complete douche"
- The New York Times
"Every time we hang out... I die a little inside"
- Best friend
"If by lawyer you mean 'wanker', then yes, he's the best"
- The Guardian UK
"Boy ain't right"
"Yes, he's hung like a horse. My Little Pony"
Movies: I love horror movies. Some of my favorites: Event Horizon, The Thing (John Carpenter version), The Shining, Pet Sematery, 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead...
Food: I will try pretty much anything, but I particularly love Italian, Indian, Turkish, Brazilian, Malaysian and Japanese. And burgers. LOVE a good burger.
2) Crushed red pepper (single)
3) Cardboard box
4) Bird of Paradise
6) Eyeball (x2)