38London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I was walking down the street the other day, fending off the zombie hordes, as you do, and thinking about what you women on this site would want to see on my profile. "Kittens!" I thought, as I staved in another brain-muncher's skull with a deadly banana. "Why don't you just post lots of pictures of kittens? Chicks love that shit." But it seemed like a bit of a cheat though, and it didn't really tell you much about me.

I thought I could tell you about my makeover on Channel 4's "Gok's Style Secrets", but I was worried you might fob me off as one of those reality TV show muppets. If you want to see me looking like a plank though, you can search YouTube for "Zoe Gok's Style Secrets". I'm in the last 10 minutes of the episode.

Then I thought I could just post a list of my accomplishments, my Cosmopolitan award-winning blog, my best-selling book, the articles I've written for magazines like SFX, the successful iPhone games I've created, but I thought that I might look like Braggy McBraggerson, from Bragtown, USA - and frankly, if ladies wanted to sit around reading CV's they could go and work in HR. "So what then?" I thought, as I tripped over a loose paving slab, narrowly missing a lunging zombie, and conveniently demonstrating my dual mutant abilities of extreme clumsiness and luck.

"It's not as if I can just say that I'm a super relaxed, well-maintained, lovely guy who gives good chat, is extremely respectful and non-controlling, but also knows how to give you the butterflies with a single look? I can't just tell you that I like culty things, and cultural things, and ambition, and pin-ups, and kink, and cooking, and comics, and Mario Kart, and art, and travel, and japes, and auteurs, and vinyl, and weirdness, and dusty old books, and adventures and kissing and laughing."

I paused for a second, as zombie crept up behind me. "**** it," I thought. "I'll just write that I like staying in and going out, and watching movies, and breathing. That'll do." And then I hit the zombie in the face with a dustbin lid.
What I’m doing with my life
Pretending to run a company, but secretly making you Spotify playlists. Like this one.
I’m really good at
Making stuff. Tragically hilarious accidents. Big romantic gestures*.

*These have occasionally backfired a bit**.

** This is an understatement.

FYI: The links in this section don't work on the app, so you'll have to click them on the main site. Or you can just go to and have a read. Sucks, I know, but then life isn't fair. Unless you work in a Funfair. Actually, I wonder what carnies say to their kids when they complain about perceived inequalities in the distribution of good things happening?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
* Harold and Maude is your favourite Rom Com...
* You like reading (personal fave authors include John Irving, GK Chesterton and Neil Gaiman)...
* You love films, but you'd be just as happy watching either Drive, Alien, Life Is Beautiful, The Thing (Carpenter edition), Head, Suspiria, Kind Hearts and Coronets, Spinal Tap, The Guard, a daft Blockbuster or an Almodavar...
* You listen to the even numbered BBC Radio stations...
* You think Parks and Recreation, Girls, Gravity Falls, Mad Men and Breaking Bad are awesome...
* You like Deerhunter, Alt-J and Ratatat as much as rawk, punk, knackered old vinyl and old school hip hop...

THEN we're probably all good. And if you can introduce me to some new stuff - even better.
You should message me if
I guess now I'm just looking for an awesome bright young lady for holidays, hugs and a third thing that also begins with 'h' (you always need three things in an alliterative list. It's one the laws of writing)*.

Hopefully you're sharp-witted, like dresses, and possibly a bit odd. But the good kind of odd, around a 7 on the Deschanel Scale of Kookiness - I don't want to find you going through my bins at 1 AM trying to find scraps of cardboard to construct a cardboard effigy of my face or something.

You should not be afraid to voice your own opinions, and be prepared to occasionally zing me when I do something daft**.

Oh, and if you're fucking brilliant at killing zombies, all the better.

* Someone messaged me and suggested 'Happy endings' as the third thing, but I thought you might think I was being smutty.

**NB. This will happen surprisingly often.
The two of us