Friendly introvert. Crown Heights. Bonks front teeth with beverage glasses. Presses AC more times than necessary before using a calculator. Okcupid used to describe me as 'sloppy' and 'suave'.
Pressing elevator buttons with the tip of my umbrella and putting the deck of cards back in the box in their original order.
Flirting with old ladies.
Flinging toothpaste at the mirror
Getting along with people, even if they suck
Peering into your mouth when you yawn and not being discreet at all about it.
Double-bouncing small children in bouncy castles
Building my niecephews giant elaborate igloos in the snow, but I've never been able to make a snowman...
Waking up suddenly with a loud snort. This frightens people on airplanes.
*Not* lying about my height.
And offsetting the 'girly' gender-normative presents (groan) my nieces get with nerdy science-y toys.
I also appreciate suggestions for my next cripplingly depressing novel.
Really satisfying yawn-stretches
Sitting in a warm sunspot in a cool room
I realize this list makes me sound like I'd be perfectly happy with a life as a domesticated pet.
I also really dig asymmetry.
The Helvetica scenario
Will I ever get around to watching The Wire?
How are you supposed to hold your arms when you're going down stairs
I will never truly get all my laundry done unless I go to the laundromat naked
My face would look good on a muppet
The lives of stock photo people
What I'd do in a Groundhog Day scenario. I come back to this a lot...
I secretly wish all my company's clients would crumble and die. Oops!
I have a nasty habit of not finishing books. One day, Infinite Jest, one day...
Enthusiastic little spoon (be my human jetpack!).
When I was little I had the very irrational fear of giving birth. I mean I knew I'd never give birth, but I found the thought of going through the pains of childbirth haunting, and I was still afraid of it. I know. Weird.
There is a single hair that grows long on the right side of my chest, and every few weeks I notice it, decide to yank it out, and it just grows back and the cycle repeats. Now you know.
I feel a little sentimental when I replace my loofah.
You'll eat Nutella by the spoonful with me so I don't finish the jar.
You can beat me at pool.
I can watch you play video games.
You too can rack up an hour long high score in text twist.
You're ok with every once in a while--for about a week after getting a haircut--me (occasionally) looking like Jim Carrey's character in dumb & dumber.
Also, you're not afraid to be ambitious and intelligent. Hearing about what you're into > seeing another selfie.
Also, send me funny internet links.
Also also, if you either have a not-bland profile (laid-back! Adventurous! Netflix!) or your answers to questions are fun to read.
And above all, if you would play monopoly with me while I eat a whole cheesecake.
And it'd be great if you knew how to play the piano, so I could lay suggestively on top of it while you play.