30 Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
It's weird to try, and describe yourself in just a few paragraphs, but i'll try my best.

I love to be the funny guy in the room, I usually can't help myself when it comes to cracking a joke...if something seems funny to me, I just have to make a comment about it....When no one laughs at the comment, I then realize it wasn't really that funny to begin with....then i go into a corner in shame....I like to call that corner "Shame-corner"...Probably should have came up with something more original than that.

I love sports. I am a die hard NY sports fan!! (Go Mets!!!.....depression rising...rising)

My Hero is, and will always be Humphrey Bogart

I like taking care of people....I dislike when someone takes a bite out of sandwich and says "Wow this is awful...do you want a bite?"
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to convince the ladies at the bagel place that I am from 10 different countries by changing my accent every time I go in there.(It does not help that all of my accents sound like a bad Australian farmer...except for my Irish accent which sounds like a leprechaun on speed....so I got that going for me)


I work for a wonderful summer camp I work all year round. That's what I do for a living, recruit kids to come to an AMAZING summer camp that I run every summer. (Who ever thought that could be a real job? When I was 6 I imagined being a professional wrestler, fireman or hosting the tonight show...yep I was that kid)
I’m really good at
Making three really funny jokes in a row while watching a bad movie, and then failing horribly on the fourth one.

Also for some reason I am good at getting applause for belting out Beatles songs at 5:30am on the 4 train with my eyes closed...lots of stories there. (Change Beatles to Meatloaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love" and this would be 1000% more accurate)


ODD TV Trivia (I'm your guy for bar trivia night when you say to your other teammates "I've never heard of that show before")
The first things people usually notice about me
The patch I wear over my left eye on MWF...and over my right eye TTH...weekends are optional...

Seriously though when I was younger people thought I looked like A mix of Fred Savage (Kevin Arnold) from the Wonder Years & Ben Savage (Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World)...so that got me a lot of dates....Wait....it did the opposite of that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: The Godfather Part 2, Casablanca, Anchorman, Naked Gun, Forget Paris, Animal House, Major League, Love Actually, The Usual Suspects, When Harry Met Sally, Aladdin, The Lion King, Jurassic Park, Toy Story 1-3......About a million more.

T.V. Shows: Game of Thrones, Modern Family, HIMYM, 30 Rock, The Simpsons (my fav of all time), The West Wing, The Newsroom, Community, Happy Endings, Brooklyn 99

Music: Way too many to name...but I love Motown so...The Temptations, Bill Withers, Sam Cooke come to mind...Also I have man crushes on Bruno Mars & Justin Timberlake...so their music as well....and the Beatles (Much love & respect)

Food: Love Thai food!!...Also the French came up with these fries a while back that I have always loved...Amazingly I don't like freedom fries so go figure (Man that is an outdated joke....I'll leave it in there though)

Books: To Kill A Mockingbird....even though it gave me no insight on how to actually Kill A Mockingbird.

Also I love Michael Chichton Books (Jurassic Park = Even Better Book than Movie...GASP!!!)
The six things I could never do without
1.) My Dad - He is the source of most of my comic relief...and I love him

2.) My DVR - This awesome invention allows me to watch Oprah over and over again...or other shows (Note: I wrote this before Oprah went off the air but out of respect to her, I am keeping it in my profile...Praise Oprah!)

3.) Toy Trains - How else would my toys figures from 1840 get their supplies shipped to them in a timely matter...boats you may suggest...well screw toy boats, they are super lame.

4.) Pants - When a person starts to think that they don't need wear pants anymore, that person instantly starts to spiral down into a world of despair....also their legs get cold more easily.

5.) Texting Friends - How else would I be able to quickly send the
message "Donald Sterling is in front of me on line in the bakery...he keeps asking for them to split the black & white cookies in half, and flat out refuses to take the black part home.....then he muttered something about NOT being a racist"

6.) My Sense of Right & Wrong- For Example: It is RIGHT to give up your seat to a pregnant woman on the subway...It is WRONG to give up your seat to a woman who looks pregnant, but just happens to be overweight...this usually leads to a lot of profanity, and getting hit by a purse that holds a sandwich inside of it.

My real list most likely would include more real things like:

- My Friends
- Comedy
- My Future
- Finding Someone Special
- Yada Yada Yada

but that's totally boring, though still important.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?? Has no one ever done a study on this before??? For the love of god how hard can it be to determine how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?? That damn Mr. Owl can't be right...for it can't take only two licks...it has to be more then two. By the way when did we start trusting owls for our scientific research in this country??? Something is fishy about this whole situation I tells ya...
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing the board game "Guess Who"... but only allowing clues that boarder on racist...I said boarder, if they are truly racist you lose the game, and I make you listen to MLK's "I Have A Dream" Speech on loop until you either cry or pass out from exhaustion...

Oh, also on Fridays I am usually at bar to discuss finance, politics, and who looks better in a tucked in shirt...(it's always the guy you least expect)...plus movies sometimes...pretty regular stuff.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was 15 years old, I got turned down for a date with Lindsay Lohan...I asked her out at while we both played ski ball next to each other at the premiere to the movie "The Rookie"...looking at her now...it might have been the best thing to have ever happened to me.
You should message me if
You want to meet a nice guy who can make you laugh... I am honestly looking for friends who could turn into more...I believe in friends first, and worse case scenario you meet a guy who will actively make you shoot milk out of your nose (I think that's a good thing)