I'm part robot. I make jokes. Sometimes they are tasteless. Sometimes they make people laugh. Sometimes they only make me laugh. I don't take life very seriously.
Triangles are my favorite shape.
I don't do the whole walking thing, so please don't be a staircase. No offense to the staircases of the world, you guys just aren't for me.
One of my exes once told me that I'm an "adorably entertaining trainwreck" and I'd say that's a pretty accurate description.
Like most other penis-havers my age, I play videogames pretty often. All kinds, really.
Drinking too many beers and then giving myself really stupid tattoos.
I'm also getting into some metalwork since I've been dying to get into a new hobby. More specifically, making knives. About a year ago I discovered the vast genre of knife making videos on YouTube and have fallen in love with the idea of turning a chunk of steel into a useful tool. Update: I am making my first knife! Without power tools! My arms hurt! Thrilling!
Slowing down songs so you feel like you're on opiates http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FmWW0vI6t0
I'm listening to music and can't hear you.
I probably have Giorgio Tsoukalos hair.
Books: A Heartbreaking work of Staggering Genius, American Psycho, Ender's Game, Cat's Cradle, His Dark Materials, and anything by Isaac Asimov, Philip K. Dick or Arthur C. Clarke.
Movies: The Room, Oldboy, I Saw the Devil, City of God, Encino Man, Primer, My Left Foot, Terminator 2, Troll 2, Demolition Man, Moon, Red Dawn, Wristcutters: A Love Story, anything by Harmony Korine, the Coen brothers, or Charlie Kaufman
Shows: X-Files, The IT Crowd, Workaholics, Skins, Seinfeld, Arrested Development, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Peep Show, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Twin Peaks, Broad City
I used to have a list of bands here but it was way too long. I listen to some of everything (but mostly metal, punk, hip-hop, and various forms of electronic music) and here are some albums currently in my rotation:
Lorn - Ask the Dust
Altar of Plagues - Teethed Glory and Injury
Om - Advaitic Songs
Oddisee - Tangible Dream
Fall of Efrafa - Elil
Deafheaven - Sunbather
Eagulls - Ullages
Run the Jewels - RTJ2
Playboy Manbaby - Bummeritaville
Playboy Manbaby - Electric Babyman (Everybody needs to listen to Playboy Manbaby, they're incredible. If you take anything from this list, it should be that you should listen to this band. Please go look them up and give them all your money.)
Soundwaves penetrating my earholes
Flavorful fermented beverages
Headphones that don't suck 80 butts
Hair that grows out of the lower portion of my face
Moving to Reykjavik in the distant future, moving to Detroit in the slightly less distant future, but still at some sort of nebulous point in the future.
Where the spiders are hiding in my house. Arachnophobia. Kill all spiders.
Electronics and general audio related stuff. I will never ever stop nerding out on things that have knobs and keys.
At a bar watching some dude growl about wizards, sitting in my room listening to some dude growl about wizards, wishing I was in a doom band that wrote songs about wizards, not being a wizard
Fuck man, I'm not a wizard. That sucks.
I unironically like RiFF RAFF.
I unironically like Fetty Wap.
I am obsessed with Jaden Smith's eyebrows.
...you rarely feel like an adult
...you have synesthesia
...everything you do is a balloon
...you get stoked on any of the following; getting stoked, Kurt Russell movie parties, drinking with cripples, high fives, canadians, killing spiders, settlers of catan, drinking cheap beer, drinking fancy beer, wizards, tommy wiseau, ice cream trucks, synthesizers, explosives, watching terminator 2 as many times as you can in one day, christmas sweaters, white russians, being in the vicinity of nerds, moxie, ufos, nostalgia, mustaches, beards, neckbeards, wizards with beards, Tommy Wiseau with a beard, a beard with a beard, hot beard on beard action
...you think any of the following is total bullshit; pants