WEIRD, FUN, INVASIVE.
To be Fair: if an outpouring of egotism annoys you, just stop right here. I'm working on it though. Although the hardest time to hide the egotism is when monologuing about yourself.
On another note. I've seen a pattern (a handful really) of bisexual men who have felt the need to create separate profiles for their heterosexual behaviour and one for their homosexual behaviour. I think its sad that there is such a noticeable difference in the way (particularly women believe it or not) react on that basis. One of these guys, upon my first inquiry to the existence of two profiles for that reason, testified to a woman saying she was really glad he hadn't put bisexual on his profile because if he had she wouldn't have bothered. I don't think I want to have to give people ignorance as a blessing to overcome their prejudice; but instead I'll try this friendly reminder to point out that you can't know who I am or what I'm worth by that identification, which I only use here as a form of convenience. I am a person. Sexual orientation is a myth. People like what they like, they fuck what feels good and they love the people that are important to them. The rest is just cultural bullshit.
Its good to be honest: I'm an asshole, but I'm trying to be less of one. It's really only been in this last year that I've realized how selfish I can be. It's my greatest fault, but I'm working on it. Unfortunately it's also tied into some of my favorite aspects about myself.
For instance, I've got drive. When something comes into my focus I can put it in a tunnel vision and give it 100% of my focus. I imagine its some instinctual quality left over from the millenia of my hunting ancestors. I also want to spend more of my life learning to track and hunt. But sometimes you can see this come out in me and my attention will take a shock to my system to bring back to the moment. I'm not fond of that, its not exactly living in the world. It's not a quality I want to do away with, just re-focus.
I've never quite fit the mesh and that doesn't bother me in the least. But sometimes I push people away because of it, and that's not right. I'll change that, though I don't know how yet.
I'm also an amateur astrologist. At a party in Fairbanks, Ak once (this is before I gave any respect to astrology) a girl came up to me with her drink in hand and poked me in the chest and declared, "You're an Aries-Taurus Cusp aren't you? You guys are so frustrating." (I am, which is why it's not filled out in my details. The personality reflected by this cusping is too strong to summarize it as Taurus alone.) And since then I've had the chance to hang out with a lifelong astrologist who has inspired me to take up the art. And it is just that. Its an artistic language study, not a scientific study and I get frustrated when people talk to me about the pseudo-science behind it. I don't do pseudo-science. (Mars-Venus-Moon conjunctions in Pisces very much encouraged to communicate!)
Well lets see here... I'm an Alaskan boy. So the affinity for fresh air and running through the woods and the smell of campfires comes with the territory. Hiking and Kayaking and just being out doing things in the wild are always highlights of life.
Motorcycles. I don't mean those stereo equipped wind shielded couches. Just give me several hundred cc's strapped to wheels, backpack and the open road and I'm as happy as a 12 year old with automatic weaponry. Actually, give me the weaponry too. I'm a second-amendment kinda guy.
As for what I'm looking for? I don't know. I'm not looking for anything; I'm just looking at what there is. (I also remind myself to think like this if I'm looking for my keys or what have you, really chills oneself out.) In my short and young lifetime I've had lovers male and female and various kinds of flings. I don't really like making intimate relationships. I try to let those evolve. (Although I've been known to go up to people I've barely known and declared our newly forged eternal friendship; and been right every time so far.)
I really don't know what to say here. Does anything above give a picture? Oh well, onward ho.
I'm learning. Well, I also have some big long-term goals in my life that I'm working towards, but that's a longer conversation. And a non-disclosure clause wrapped up in non-compete that makes it a trifle difficult to talk about sometimes.
I'm good at going onward. I'm good at not getting stopped by ridiculous and imagined constraints. I'm good at walking. I'd like to walk across anything and everything. Some day death valley, some day the Darian Gap, but I have lots of less extremes coming up before then. Revillagigedo Island and the Pine Barrnes will be nice warm ups, and chunks of the pacific coast. My longest fully geared hike has been five days so far, but I'm not intimidated by reaching high!
I'm pretty excitable.
But when I'm just being calm and getting to know people, I have no idea what people notice about me. I'll have to make the time to observe this. (Since the dedication to observe people observing me, a common reaction is that people notice I'm interested in topics that surprise them that anyone would share and that I obviously enjoy listening.)
As for films, I worship Fight Club as the best adaption from a book ever done. I love a good epic battle scene, and I enjoy new or unique things so I try to get a healthy dose of Independent Films (always hit & miss).
As for Television, I come from a family of Trekkie's. Some people learned their morality from Sesame Street, I learned it from Roddenberry's modern take on morality plays. But I don't watch a lot of television most of the time. Just once in awhile its there and I don't mind indulging.
As for Music: Tchaikovsky is my favorite of the classical, and I'll listen to anything I can dance to. I try not to judge by genre but by the quality of the soul of the music. But if one were to look at my inner-music-child, he's still rocking the purple hair half shaved on one side banging away to that punky-rock genre that encompasses Billy Talent, Korn & Mindless Self Indulgence.
Food. Well food has at times been a hard part of my life. Long story that ends in dealing with poison. As such I've had to become more careful about what I eat, which has lead me to a much more philosophical perspective on food. Thank everything from nutritionists to Tom Brown Jr.; as well as experiments in diet. I generally do not eat meat that I consider industrial or if the kill is too far removed from me. As a traveler I try to follow the politeness of being a guest however. So it basically means I mostly don't eat meat. I'm always curious and willing to discuss the philosophy of food to all and willing; but know I find the 'moral' highground of vegetarianism and veganism generally unsound. Best to keep it simple, I can always love someone for eating in a way to avoid pain. That is beautiful.
Open horizons to traverse or towering peaks to conquer
Friends who welcome a couchsurfer
Stories of every form
And my faith
I also think a lot about Humanities direction. Climate change, the economics of the world energy situation, Gerard K. O'Neil's plan that I feel could save the world but gets ignored and scoffed at instead. I spend the rest of my time trying really hard not to think about this.
Or I'm in a rage and loooking for a little destruction till my inner demons feel fulfilled.
But in the manner of science... lets observe:
Last Friday: I was finishing preparations for a west coast road trip with several goals in mind but no final destination.
Friday before: I flew down from Alaska to attend Barterfair! A wonderful hippie festival full of drum circles bartering (naturally) and ever sort of cultural exchange you can imagine. When one old barterfairian was asked about how many years he had come to Barterfair he responded, "you never have to leave Barterfair, you can always be at Barterfair."
Earlier Friday: Driving a skiff across a third of Revillagigedo Island to pick up a friend from the lower 48 (that's what we Alaskans call you people) who had been working all summer at a fish hatchery to cross Behm canal to the mainland so that we could hike some miles to these most wonderful natural hot springs. Nothing like hours in a small boat arriving at an unknown trail in the dark and wet that has partially collapsed into a lake, weighed down by full gear, then to come upon pools of water perfectly tempered around the low 100's.
Wow, these last few Fridays were good. I hadn't realized how packed my month has been. Awesome.
Oh, and I guess I should admit because I recently noticed that most of my best friends for most of my life had not understood this about me: I don't like manners. Sure I can be polite, and I'd like to think I make an excellent introduction because of that; but deep down I feel manners are a dishonest way that we can distant ourselves from each other. It may not be logical, but manners to me feel cold and heartless and alienating. If you tackle or throw something at me on our first occasion of getting to know each other, I'd consider it the affirmation of a workable friendship.
Or if you want an adventure. Or have an adventure to share. Or are just looking to sit outside and trade stories. Where are all the bards?
If you understand why jobs are the worst way to make money.
(And if your thinking you have another half, and it might be me... Turn around. You know we couldn't ever meet if it were true. The UNIVERSE WOULD IMPLODE.)
IF YOU KNOW WHO GERARD K ONEIL IS AND YOU WANT TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. WE SHOULD TALK.