Don't open a restaurant unless you love it, which I do. I opened my first (and perhaps only) restaurant three years ago and so far so good. I designed the place and built most of it myself, and I'm the chef/accountant/manager/host/busboy/official toilet un-clogger and anything else I need to do when my 15 employees are busy making people happy with good food and drink. I basically live there Long Island City), but actually sleep in Brooklyn for those of you who are scared of Queens.
I realized recently that the reason I'm good at this restaurant/social thing, is that after 44 years of interacting with people, I remain blissfully unaware that each new person that I meet might have a bad side. So far it's worked out pretty well for me.
So...me. I could write lots of tasty little things here about myself, but
how accurate is anyone's self image??? Instead, here are some things that I've heard people say to me, , and by people, I do not only mean my mother/best friend/biggest fan....so if these are the things that you would want to say to someone that you might consider writing to...well...write already,
...you're pretty bright!
---you don't drink? But you love hanging out at bars? Weird...
....I don't know where your energy comes from.
....I thought the chorizo tart was amazing! Where did you come up with that..
....might be time to get a haircut..it's starting to look like you're wearing a hat.
....What are you reading this week?
....funk? soul? You have the musical tastes of a 60 yr old black man.
....will you come decorate my apartment?
...a straight guy with a sewing machine?
...what kind of restaurant?
....you played music for 10 years? Why not anymore?
Guess what....my name is nick. I was going to come up with some clever name but I imagine that my parents put a lot of thought into picking out this one, so I'll stick with it.
DEALBREAKERS (one's that you might have). I figure get these out in the open right away.
1. I don't drink. This is a weird thing for a lot of people, but I left it blank for a reason. After working for years for one drunk owner after another, I decided to stop before I opened a joint of my own. I don't go to AA. I ask my friends to "meet up for drinks." I still close down bars sometimes, and I'm completely comfortable surrounded by drunk people and I'm usually having as much fun as they are. The only difference between my new "lifestyle" and my old is what is in the glass in front of me. So put that in your one-hitter and smoke it.
2. I just quit smoking, which means I carry around one of those fake e-smokes. . If you hate that, I'm sorry. One day I will quit completely, but not until after this restaurant is open for a while. In the meantime:
"Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many--even more--things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.
- Fran Lebowitz
3. I'm not the tallest tool in the shed.
I'm 5'8" exactly…not 5' 7 3/4" or 5' 8.202983". That means if you are also 5' 8" and put on three inch heels, I will suddenly seem like I'm 5' 5". Thought it was fair for me to do the math. I have dated shorter (obviously), and taller...either way is cool with me, but not to all. So I'm not a swiffer with an extension, but I'm also not a hand trowel….something in the middle.
If I email you, a polite, "I don't date teetotalling shorties that 'vape'" rejection email would be appreciated. Thanks.
*Spelling - "It is a damn poor mind indeed which cannot think of at least two way to spell any word." - Thank you Andrew Jackson for my "out" on this one.
*not bumping into things
*being on time when it's not essential
*going to bed early
*sitting down for more than 10 minutes
*remembering to eat when I'm busy
*moderation (well, not horrible)
Things I'm good at: most of the other stuff.
Books: Vonnegut, Fitzgerald, Roth, Chabon, Murakami.
TV: House, West Wing
Music: Funk R&B, Soul
Food: Everything and Anything
Movies: I think it's interesting how many people like "foreign films." I like "good films." Did it ever occur to anyone that the reason that "foreign films" are good because the shitty ones don't get distributed? In Italy, for example, a country know for amazing directors, I'm pretty sure you could go into a movie house in Venice or Rome and see some real crap...
Music with a little bit of soul.
Good bedding...I spend 1/3 of my life there...pretty damn important.
Living in a city where I can find a pineapple at three different places within 3 blocks of my apartment at 3am. The 333 rule? It's new.
A sharp knife….kitchen knife.
Why NYC doesn't have a labor shortage when everyone seems to be a yoga teacher.
Why okcupid shows me all white people unless I tell it otherwise.
Why there are more choices for gender than for ethnicity here.
Why everyone seems to need to make it clear that they "love to laugh," and who are these people that hate to laugh that the aforementioned are differentiating themselves from?
I have a spreadsheet of all the books I own...very cool.