31San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
Some facts about me:

- I barely cried after the intro to Pixar's "UP".
- Gluten is sensitive to *me*.
- Your parents already like me.
- I once Tinder matched with Ivanka Trump, but was totally like: "no, thanks".
- I invented dubstep—at my 5th grade recorder recital.

*** None of these facts are true.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm looking for a partner in life and adventure...

This is a list of some things I think are—or might be—totally awesome. I'm not saying we should do them on our first date; I'm just saying that I hope you're excited by these ideas too:

- SCUBA diving the Great Barrier Reef
- Waking up early to watch the sun rise
- Thoroughly reading the Wikipedia entries on "The Donner Party", "Relativistic time dilation", "Origin of the domestic dogs".
- Backpacking the entire Pacific Crest Trail
- Jumping off a cliff (into water)
- Creating an extremely elaborate group Bay to Breakers costume
- Watching the movie "Sharknado"—a movie about a tornado hitting Los Angeles that is full of killer sharks
- Bicycling through Europe for three months
- Doing a bunch of drugs at Burning Man
- Driving a VW Van to all the Western US National Parks
- Internet. Cat. Videos.
I’m really good at
Thinking about dating if time ran backwards...

I would see you for the first time as your train backed into the station. We would then tearfully say hello. As we grew younger together we would drift apart emotionally—un-sharing experiences. We would un-climb Half Dome, un-watch Zoolander once a week and un-meet your parents.

Outrageous rent prices in San Francisco would fall to slightly less Outrageous. Progressively slower and slower iPhones would be released. (Your screen un-cracks). Baristas would methodically suck frothed milk back into espresso machines. I would carefully delete lines of code at work.

We would slowly un-discover each other's little flaws and foibles.

As we get less and less serious our lives would slowly untangle from each other; we would un-meet each other's friends. Eventually we would un-kiss for the last time. The final time we see each other would be over drinks a few days before messaging on OKCupid.

...Sooner or later you would start dating your ex-boyfriend.
The first things people usually notice about me
I make love like an eagle falling out of the sky.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Star Trek: The Next Generation had a profound impact on my youth.
You should message me if
You think the world is hilarious and weird and terrible and wonderful.

You like spicy food.

You're opinionated—but are considerate enough to have thought about *why* you have those opinions.

You can parallel park like a badass but don't own a car.

You're kind.

You call people out on their bullshit—but in a totally nice way.

You can disagree about something without getting upset.

You think grammar is important; I think I might be using the em dash (—) wrong—sorry.

You think most arguments can be settled with some judicious Googling and Wikipedia-ing.
The two of us