This letter is in response to your profile posted online requesting applications for the position of soul mate, companion, significant other and/or casual date. I believe your requirements and my attributes would make an excellent match and I have included some photos for your review.
Honesty, thoughtfulness, generosity, and jocularity/mirth are a few of my best qualities along with modesty, cleanliness, and crystal blue eyes. University educated, professional, never married, no spawn, antiquarian, anti-Bush, artistic, and all round good guy from a great family.
Having spent the majority of my career working in the remote wilderness, I have highly developed survival skills that are easily transferable to an urban setting or when it comes to dating. For example, I know how to rub two sticks together to make a spark and on occasion have used a similar technique to generate heat between moi and others who shall remain nameless.
Thank you for taking the time to review this application and please do not hesitate to contact me to arrange an interview/date.
Your Potential Future Date,
P.S. References available upon request.