I can count the number of times I’ve used condoms on one hand.
The answer is zero, you put them on your penis not your hand.
I think Batman and Wonder Woman make a better couple than Superman and Wonder Woman but not a better couple than Batman and Superman.
When I ask for a glass of water and someone hands me a glass full of sand, I turn it over, make a sand castle, and pretend I'm king. When someone throws a stone at my head, I pretend the bruise is a faded tattoo, and that I was once a sailor who ran a sweat shop in Singapore. I'm not too proud of that time in my imaginary life, but I'm comforted by the fact that my friends, who made me stick a banana in my crack, feel even worse.
In case you were wondering, my spirit animal is a pink fairy armadillo.
experimenting with baking in the kitchen
looking to learn more about the city by going on some guided walks
vacuuming cat hair
reminding myself that I do actually pay to go to the gym so I should use it
The Back of the Box - Frosted Flakes
The Stranger - Albert Camus
Haroun and the Sea of Stories - Salman Rushdie
Lamb - Christopher Moore
The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Choke - Chuck Palahniuk
ZZ Top - Eliminator
Pinkerton - Weezer
Moving Pictures - Rush
Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030
Madvillainy - Madvillain
Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) - Wu-Tang Clan
Kennedy For President - Kennedy
Singin' in the Rain
The Royal Tenenbaums
South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
The Venture Bros
The Walking Dead
Game of Thrones
a good cuban sandwich
the smell of fresh cut grass
watching a movie
being around a cat won't kill you
you're interested in going on some historic SF walks to learn about different neighborhoods
you know how to trim a man's beard because I have no idea what I'm doing
you know who would win in a fight between a taco and a grilled cheese sandwich