33San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
Currently in a committed relationship. We're looking to meet someone nice and see where it ends up

I can count the number of times I’ve used condoms on one hand.
The answer is zero, you put them on your penis not your hand.

I think Batman and Wonder Woman make a better couple than Superman and Wonder Woman but not a better couple than Batman and Superman.

When I ask for a glass of water and someone hands me a glass full of sand, I turn it over, make a sand castle, and pretend I'm king. When someone throws a stone at my head, I pretend the bruise is a faded tattoo, and that I was once a sailor who ran a sweat shop in Singapore. I'm not too proud of that time in my imaginary life, but I'm comforted by the fact that my friends, who made me stick a banana in my crack, feel even worse.

In case you were wondering, my spirit animal is a pink fairy armadillo.
What I’m doing with my life
working at a print on demand book publishing company
experimenting with baking in the kitchen
looking to learn more about the city by going on some guided walks
making lists
vacuuming cat hair
reminding myself that I do actually pay to go to the gym so I should use it
I’m really good at
getting things off the top shelf
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm six four. I have great eyes. Lately I have a beard which is borderline young Santa.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The Back of the Box - Frosted Flakes
The Stranger - Albert Camus
Haroun and the Sea of Stories - Salman Rushdie
Lamb - Christopher Moore
The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Choke - Chuck Palahniuk

ZZ Top - Eliminator
Pinkerton - Weezer
Moving Pictures - Rush
Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030
Madvillainy - Madvillain
Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) - Wu-Tang Clan
Kennedy For President - Kennedy

Singin' in the Rain
The Royal Tenenbaums
Reservoir Dogs
Weird Science
South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
Young Frankenstein

Breaking Bad
The Wire
Arrested Development
The Venture Bros
The Walking Dead
Game of Thrones

a good cuban sandwich
Six things I could never do without
my genitals
my cat
iced tea
the smell of fresh cut grass
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Is my cat an asshole to me only because I'm gone for eight hours a day and she's mad or is my cat an asshole to me because that's how cats are? what should I eat for lunch today? why can I remember my credit card number but not my social? did I cook this chicken enough? how am I going to get cat hair off of this?
On a typical Friday night I am
drinking with friends
watching a movie
baking something
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I will probably begin with a very classy first line... something like: say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?
You should message me if
you're interested in hanging out with a couple and seeing where it goes

being around a cat won't kill you

you're interested in going on some historic SF walks to learn about different neighborhoods

you know how to trim a man's beard because I have no idea what I'm doing

you know who would win in a fight between a taco and a grilled cheese sandwich
The two of us