a_royalnonesuch
31 Brooklyn, United States
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a_royalnonesuch
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My self-summary
Queer, hard high femme. My self-care is frozen yogurt and horror movies. I value exploration (of self and otherwise), am fascinated by politics, and feel deeply, deeply grateful to be excited and inspired by my work. I love to challenge my own beliefs on a regular basis and am absolutely up for a debate on a host of issues. I'm more than willing to admit when I'm wrong and often get excited to find new places to learn. I read voraciously, love music (playing, listening and even understanding theory), and figuring out different ways to be physical. I love exploration and new challenges and when I'm trying to wrap my head around something and get frustrated, I ground myself by putting things in order or doing math. My last op-ed was completed in tandem with color-arranging my bras (ROYGBIV!) and alphabetizing my playlists. I'm a curious cook and a tea drinker, and consider this opening to be painfully awkward. Keep reading. The directed questions are better.

Im not looking to jump into anything at the moment, so I'm here primarily for a sexual connection, casual hookups and new people to hang out with.

Please note: I want to populate my life with wonderful queer people, so if you're a cis/straight man, please say so in your initial message and know that I'm only open to casual, NSA hookups. And it's even a high bar for that. Queers: let's hang and see how we click!
What I’m doing with my life
Learning exactly what my limits are.
Picking my next tattoo.
I'm a policy advocate around laws on the sex trade, so I get to explore a lot of different areas of thinking and spend time with awesome people. I spend my days in my office getting to really dig into issues of criminalization, HIV, economic justice, and trafficking in persons (not "sex trafficking" - that's a phrase made up by disingenuous advocacy groups who wanted to single out and stigmatize the sex trade and it's really offensive. Please call it all "trafficking in persons." It's a thing with me. Seriously, if you use "sex trafficking" anywhere in your initial message I will not respond.) And I absolutely love my work. It's a privilege to love your job this much. I also watch a lot of Top Chef and read every chance I get.
This sounds so weirdly formal...
I’m really good at
Finding the silver lining.
Making a crass joke when necessary. OK, mostly when it's unnecessary.
Excel spreadsheets. I'm amazing at Excel spreadsheets.
Falling asleep in moving cars.
Unabashedly eating cereal straight from the box. Food is really good. It doesn't need much. Sometimes not even a spoon.
The first things people usually notice about me
I smile a lot and I very often wear a bow or flower in my hair. Today it's an orange zinnia with a picture of a phonograph in the center.

I also wear incredibly short skirts, so I'm sure that doesn't go un-noticed. Especially considering the ridiculous number of pairs of tights/socks I will wear underneath to stay warm in the winter.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Music for Torching, Lolita, Angelica, Crash and Mrs. Dalloway. I'm generally reading one book to supplement the reports I get at work and one book for pleasure. My library cards get worked.

Movies: If I could go back to any pre-career-ish job and make a living, it would be as the video store girl, so this is tough. Pulp Fiction, Zodiac, Frida, Rosemary's Baby, Death Proof, Love Me If You Dare, We Don't Live Here Anymore. I'll watch whatever David Fincher or Quentin Tarentino put in front of me. And I love horror movies. Love. Love. You'll know I like you when I want you to come over and watch a horror movie and get takeout with me.

Food: There is something special about good fish tacos and a delicate jalapeno margarita. My perfect meal. But generally, I eat anything. I'm trying to expand my palette at the moment so you score points if you're a cook as well.

Music: Yo Yo Ma when I sleep. Elvis and Johnny Cash when I shower. Guys with guitars when I work. Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan when I want to feel like a femme fatale. Tom Petty's American Girl when I want to be in a great mood. Rack City at the gym. Patsy Cline, Melissa Manchester and Miranda Lambert when I want to karaoke. Dandy Warhols when I want to walk down the street in the city. And everything in between.
The six things I could never do without
Stacks on stacks on stacks. Of books.
Black tea.
Liquid eye liner.
My boots.
Space and time to work out in some way. I get really anxious when I can't get my energy out.
Curiosity to know more.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How things fit together.

The balance of building community identity versus respecting individualized experience.
The balance of providing leadership and guidance with promoting autonomy in capacity building.
The balance of complimenting colors and contrasting patterns when wearing tights, over-the-knee socks, and knee socks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I'm having a bad day, I hate-tweet Nick Kristoff.

I've also seen Gigli. Twice.
You should message me if
You actually read this thing and you're still curious.

You're queer. I'm open to all folks across the gender spectrum. I prefer hanging with queer folks, and would love to find some amazing friends where there is also a strong sexual connection. Straight, cis men, please feel free to give me a shout - as long as it's cool that I'm only open to something casual and fun and NSA. In your first message, though, I request that you let me know that you're a cis dude.

No, seriously, if you don't mention it I'll let you know that you didn't read my profile and just get annoyed you're bothering me at all.

You're not looking for someone to whom you can ask invasive questions about trafficking and the sex industry! I'm very political and I'm really passionate about my job and the subject that I work on. That doesn't mean that I *always* want to engage in answering questions about sex work, the sex trade or trafficking. Do feel free to ask - especially if they're "I want to learn more" questions, but please be respectful if I'm not up for answering informational questions about trafficking at that given moment. Or donate $50 to my organization and I'll muster the energy. Google works 25 hours a day for free! I don't. I often like to talk about it, I really do - but please respect my limits. And at the very least - ease into the conversation. Even when I'm on panels they start with an introduction.

Oh, and if you have a problem with a picture of the tattoo on my thigh... get off the internet.
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