40Cambridge, United States
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My self-summary
About me: I do things with quiet gusto- I've always got something that I'm way into. The biggies over the years have been dancing, various sports & physical activities, music, taking pictures, and family tree sleuthing. I also love: travelling (favorites have been India, Iceland, and Italy) and spending time outside. That said, I also have a very strong domestic/cozy, quiet, indoors, early-to-bed, family-member-calling, old-fashioned side that plays a big part in my life too. INFJ.

What I'm looking for: someone who is both nerdy and physical (like me) who loves simple pleasures, and isn't too cool for puns. Someone with a good healthy drive who is authentic, self-directed, sensual, and warm. He's balanced, he's playful, he's had great relationships before, and any personality similarities with Dale Cooper (Twin Peaks) are a plus :)

The harder part: emotional guts are key. I go for someone who's open/brave with himself and able to share. In my best relationships we could diffuse things as they came up: be open with what we think/feel and with what triggers us, get in each other's shoes, and understand it together. Not in a touchy-feely-24/7 way, just honest and direct- it feels awesome to me. I want that again, so I'm looking for someone who's up for that sort of thing, patient, knows himself reasonably well (and still learning), and is comfortable being open with what he finds.

In terms of seriousness, I'm ready. I've had wonderful relationships and learned a lot, and I'm also quite content on my own. It would be lovely to meet the fella I'll want to be partners with- I'm not interested in rushing anything along (it'll be the most important decision of my life), but that's where my mindset is. (Not looking to just 'have a good time' or date casually if it's not an especially promising match).

PS: If you're gracious enough to email and say hello, tell me your favorite desserts- it appeals to my sweet tooth and also tells me you're a profile-reader :)
What I’m doing with my life
My first life was philosophy/academia, then software: testing, then team-growing and management- funny as an introvert that my day was nearly all meeting with people. In the past few years I've added night classes back into the mix (bioinformatics and computer science) and been coding a bunch more, and I've switched into a new, more hands-on role at my dream company. Software has its share of 'does this even MATTER' moments, so I've gravitated toward companies doing meaningful work. I can get swallowed up in the stuff that interests me, so I need to be deliberate about making time for people, travel, rose-smelling... for some reason it's considerably easier to do when I'm in a relationship.
I’m really good at
communication, compromise, flag football, whack-a-mole, and baking cookies. Planning too, but that's not usually considered sexy profile fodder. Dancing is historically my favorite- all types, from having fun at the cantab lounge to partner dancing like swing or salsa- but in recent years it's been eclipsed by working out.
The first things people usually notice about me
No clue about the first things, but I've been told I have an approachable/comfy vibe
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Some musical favorites: bjork, radiohead, robyn, prince, M.I.A., pixies, metric, jill scott, sam cooke, otis redding, and lots more. I've also been pretty heavy into swing and salsa dancing through the years, so that's in there too.

Favorite TV shows: I live under a rock and haven't watched any of the shows everyone tells me I need to watch- but sometimes I get there years later when nobody wants to talk about them anymore. My favorites have been 30 Rock, Twin Peaks, and Arrested Development (all watched after the fact). The one recent exception that I get to enjoy with everyone else: Stranger Things, so good! Otherwise, I see a lot of PBS NewsHour & So You Think You Can Dance, and I'll willingly admit that I used to watch Jersey Shore (yes I have no shame)- I don't leave a lot of actual time for tv, but when the desire strikes there's enjoyable stuff all over the spectrum.

Books: my reading list can be pretty schizophrenic, but the non-fiction stuff I gravitate toward usually involves biology/evolution/health, and the fiction I like best has well-developed characters/dialogue/mood. Neuroplasticity stuff (bonkers), the Secret History of Twin Peaks on audiobook, and just finished The Gene: An Intimate History.
Six things I could never do without
my friends & family (I really hit the jackpot there, and I'm thankful every day)
music & dancing
time to myself
working out
hugs & kisses & that kinda thing
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My family, my next delicious 'splurge' meal, making fun weekends with a little of everything, how to get dancing back into my life despite my earlybird ways...
On a typical Friday night I am
basking in it. I keep friday night flexible so I can make a gametime decision: usually between swing dancing or relaxing/cooking at home. Though now that November Project* has turned me into an even-earlier bird, friday night dancing has become more and more rare

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am truly ambivalent about having kids. I'm domestic and warm and always imagined myself raising a couple little bearcubs- (I've even got 21 eggs frozen safely away so I'd have more breathing room to decide). But having a front-row seat with my brother/nieces makes me equal-parts inspired and daunted; that lifestyle change is something, and having gotten more fired up in recent years with classes/coding, there's more I'd be giving up- ultimately it'll be a question I can only answer in the context of a longterm partnership. It's a great quandary to have though- I can see myself being fulfilled either way.
You should message me if
the stuff above resonates with you. Happy, long-term relationships are familiar territory, and you're someone who's comfortable in his own skin. You're also probably geniune, warm, and playful, and I'm very much looking forward to meeting you :)

Note: in an effort to fit the online dating stuff into my life gracefully, I give it a limited amount of time. So I can't reply to every message, but I truly wish everyone the best of luck out here in the trenches- may we all find our best partner and be done with these sites forever!
The two of us