Trying to knit, wondering what happened to my strawberry plant, math?, making small leaps of picking up Irish, playing a mean game of dominos, being a gigantic nerd or dork or geek depending on what horribleness I just inflicted on unsuspecting bystanders, yelling at my cat, leaping without looking (and by that I mean I've probably just tripped over something), teaching elementary school kids and then figuring out how to teach them better, drinking cider, doing puzzles both jig-sawed and cross-worded, and probably listening to records while doing any of the above… or watching television and movies on hulu or netflix. It really could go any which way.
My life often seems some giant Rube Goldberg machine for which the intention is yet unclear. Just in case, I had a pith helmet at the ready in my car because, yeah, you never know.
I can go from 0-awkward in 2.7 seconds.
Often I open my mouth, words fall out, and I’m as surprised as anyone at what they are.
...and the rest is rust and stardust.
Update: I was correct. Most things right now involve being bitten up by a puppy.
Right now I'm lucky enough to be the dean of, and teach at, an amazing elementary school and to be emeritus at an amazing yarn shop.
On the way there I've been many things from a bartender for the mexican mafia to a film editor in Los Angeles. Then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
My long time car finally had enough so I just sold it off. Instead I now have a good sturdy Russian motorcycle. It has a sidecar though, so I can, you know... still get groceries and take the school dog around and stuff. While I've traditionally been indoorsy, this change has prompted me to buy a tent. Now I really dig riding it up a mountain or down the coast and using that tent to then continue up a mountain or further down the coast.
It was recently pointed out to me that I have a different hat on but almost the same expression in just about every one of my photos. So... I guess I'm good at that?
I've been book binding and baking a lot lately. Let's all just assume I'm already really great at both of those things.
Also people tend to like my glasses or make note of my keen ability to bump into things.
could I start by asking everyone in tv shows and movies to STOP PUTTING YOUR HANDS IN MALFUNCTIONING GARBAGE DISPOSALS! I just can't take it.
A couple of relevant points: I have done the Truffle Shuffle in front of the Goonies house in Astoria. Also I am an official member of the funk mob, knighted by George Clinton and Bernie Worrell. It was better than my Bar-Mitzvah. As well I have fed and played with a giant pacific octopus. Their most advanced safety protocol was to caution me not to get my fingers too near the beak. This doesn't really relate to books, movies, shows, music, and food, but I felt it was worth mentioning.
Ok so, let's go deeper...
When people ask me the great question, "Beatles or Rolling Stones?" I like to remind them that Eric Burdon is the Kwisatz Haderach.
Pandora is a phenomenal thing. I found so many new things to like thanks to playing with it when I was working at the yarn shop. Except I didn't care all that much for the "Dirty Dancing Soundtrack" channel. Other employees like it and for the most part it was ok. The problem was that "Time of My Life" kept coming up and I expected an onslaught of customers to come charging at me expecting to be hip-lifted into the air.
I love roots americana and blues. Not that Chicago good time rockin' blues as much though. Good hip-hop and Funk have also always been a part of my life (the pinnacle of which mentioned earlier). I have a anachronistic crush on Anita O'Day. Then there's stuff like Jack White, The Heavy, Black Keys, The Cat Empire, Holly Golightly, etc, etc, likely things that everyone keeps putting here, which everyone agrees upon as good stuff.
In the recent past I've loved: Terriers, Louie, Party Down, Wilfred, Game of Thrones, Girls, Doctor Who, Freaks & Geeks, Flight of the Conchords, The League, Peep Show, Carnivàle...
I'm an escapist. Narrative fiction does it for me the most. I love science fiction, pulp, post-apocolyptic wastelands, eh, a bunch of stuff really. There are just some characters I really connect with (whether I like it or not), and that is what mostly draws me in. Don Quixote, Ignatius Reilly, Kilgore Trout, Richard Mayhew, Arthur Dent, these are my heroes. If I were cast in Shakespeare, I would likely make an excellent Dogberry.
Because of the teaching thing I read a lot of middle reader stuff these days. Luckily, there are amazing things happening in middle reader and young adult books. Currently I'm reading the Hunger Games (hey, easy now, this is for WORK) and I can say while it's no Harry Potter, ok, I'm in.
UPDATE: After finishing "The Hunger Games" I was left feeling pretty certain I would have been dead in the cornucopia. I moved on to "Ready Player One" and I kept wanting to shout My skills! They're relevant! the whole time. I am now on "The Golden Compass" and would very much like my own panserbjørne thank you very much.
FURTHER UPDATE: I'm doing "Wildwood" as a read-aloud and study on inspiration with my class. I think Colin Meloy sleeps with one hand cradling a thesaurus. Also, "Half Bad" feels like what would have happened if Irvine Welsh wrote Harry Potter.
I would like to open a restaurant that specializes in burnt cheese.
4. Placeholders for things I need to think more carefully about
7. A Bone Folder
8. ... <--- These Things
9. Spaghetti Carbonara
10. A very sharp Blackwing 602
What is the best paradox to crash a 1980's super computer that has just become self aware?
How can some of Chip Kidd's book covers be so brilliant and some just so awful?
Can you imagine what it must have been like to be the person who discovered popcorn?
Could Jessica Fletcher be part of the Wold-Newton universe?
Maybe we should just all wear a pin everyday that says how many hours of sleep we got the night before.
If you're eating a pigeon it's bound to mean either a 5-star or 1-star dining experience, but likely nowhere in between.
Are malaprops generally funnier than puns? Or is that purely situational?
I could conduct a TED talk on what an asshole my cat is.
Red Vines make for a MUCH better straw than Twizzlers.
Why would anyone settle on using two words when you could use ten?
What did I just walk into this room to get?
Why is the Hamburglar a gaucho?
At what point does a dramatic pause become an awkward silence?
What does God need with a starship?
Wait... Licorice is a LEGUME!?
Do I actually have a yen for sleuthing? Or does the combination of words just taste creamy and rich?
Why is the damn cat being so quiet?
No, seriously, didn't I buy a strawberry plant? Where the hell is it?
I prefer waffles to pancakes, pie to cake, tea to coffee, suspenders to belts. Seafood and I don't get along at all and I wish all vegetables could just agree to be fruit, because fruit is awesome. Especially pears and blueberries. I'm a Virgo-Rabbit, but I have a Scorpio moon so... that means... ? (I'm not sure how this works). I have a small collection of pocket watches ...and one pocket sundial ...because of reasons.
I am attending a cat circus at the end of the month because... cat circus.
UPDATE: That was amazing!
Here's a big one for Portland, I don't like beer. No, wait... come back! I do like whiskey and cider a whole bunch. Also Dark & Stormys... and Greyhounds.
Oh, I've never been to the Enchanted Forest, and there's a pretty good chance I snore.
You're ok with the fact that I get around by motorcycle
You might know how to read a pocket sundial.
You would like to see the films of the 70's and 80's at the Hollywood or Laurelhurst.
You have "spaceteam" on your phone or iPad and you're ready to go.
You confidently know which wire to cut before the countdown finishes.
You would like to grow a dye garden.
You would side with Bruno Kirby about the wagon wheel in When Harry Met Sally.
You can science.
You want to see where that road goes.
*sigh* or have a problem with your knitting that you need a yarn professional to take a look at...