31 Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
I'm charmingly belligerent. I make an award-winning eggplant parm and a legendary pecan pie. I've been called a 'brown Seinfeld' before (and I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a compliment). More recently, Eric Andre told me he got lost in my eyes.

I grew up in Maryland. I consider it the little state that could but have no desire to move back.

I think a sense of humor is a great indicator of mental acuity.

I am blundering down the path to gentleman-hood (word?).
What I’m doing with my life
Sublimating the urge to destroy my keyboard in a fit of pique.

I've started boxing. I skip rope more than a grown man should.
I’m really good at
* choosing produce
* shooting the shit
* giving and receiving neck rubs
* forgetting the details
* but remembering that restaurant that we went to that one time where that thing happened
The first things people usually notice about me
I am an excessively loud laugher but it's not always clear what the joke is.

That I need a haircut and a nap?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Invisible Man
The Godfather
Satanic Verses
The Ginger Man

Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Curb, the first two seasons of 30 Rock, Always Sunny, Sopranos, Mad Men, Community, West Wing before Aaron Sorkin got fired.

I like all food (but think ginger is a blight on society). And I'm a pretty damn good cook.
The six things I could never do without
stupid coming-of-age roadtrip movies
a good weekend trip to someplace impractical
cinnamon gum

I really like playing pool. Not more than any of these other things. But it seems worth mentioning.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
deconstructing humor.

And wondering about the jetpack the future promised me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've woken up on the side of the road before. And I talk to myself. A lot.

If I could be reincarnated as someone, I'd choose Louie CK, Larry David or Anthony Bourdain.
You should message me if
you want to move to Costa Rica and learn to surf

you know to whom I should direct my jetpack inquiries