akaMrFrench
63 Phoenixville, United States
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akaMrFrench
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My self-summary
I'm your Atypical Older Guy - ZERO interest in pro sports, cigars, scotch, golf, automotiphallic chrome, La-Z-Boy furniture, gold chains, wearing socks with sandals, or owning and driving a yacht-sized Buick that seats fourteen while wearing a dopey hat and leaving the blinker on for the last ten miles.

In other words -- I am indeed an older guy, but I'm not THAT flavor of "older."

Vital stats:
> Location, location, location: I work near Valley Forge, live in kinda nearby Phoenixville, occasionally play / recharge in Philly or NYC, and have adult sons who live on Long Island, so my availability-territory isn't limited to just "home"; it's more of a broad swath of the eastern seaboard and inland a smidgen. In other words: I may not live down the block, but even if you don't live five minutes away that may not pose much of an issue to me (though YOUR mileage may vary, and I get that).
> First marriage: after eight years of an on/off relationship, my first wife and I finally tied the knot when we were 34... and I was widowed by age 35. I married her knowing she was ill; we had high hopes she'd beat the disease. However, her illness had other plans and took her down before we made it to even one anniversary. That experience reshaped me in more ways than I can enumerate here.
> Wife 2.0: we were together for more than fourteen years, including eleven of marriage and ten of parenthood, until she jumped ship and moved to Long Island (it's a long story as to why, featuring two people who grew distant and the appearance in her life of Mr. Catalyst), leaving me to be effectively a single dad to our two school-age sons. Two years later, we both agreed the local school options in the Poconos weren't up to snuff, so we upended our sons' lives again and moved them to her place on Long Island, where they still remain a decade-plus later. She and I finally divorced a few years thereafter (her idea and expense); now, we're much better friends than we were in our last years together, respect each other, and can even joke about our shared past.
> Those two now-adult sons are amazing young men, and I love 'em more than mere words can explain (though I try).
> Financial note: having two college-student sons is an expensive proposition; child support, health coverage for them plus me, and both in college eats income like a hungry dog who's found the kibble stash. Come retirement (whatever that means), I may be negotiating with the cat for which one of us gets the first bite of dinner (though I have the advantage of opposable thumbs and superior skills with a can opener).
What I’m doing with my life
"Doing with my life..." - well, currently, I'd describe it as "working to live while slaving in a soul-sucking corporate cube farm west of Philadelphia." In a semi-parallel universe, I'm writing words, wallowing in music (both others' and my own), and waiting for the greater universe to come to its senses and realize that I deserve to get paid to do both.
I’m really good at
writing, music (listening intently to others', and making some of my own), breathing, witty repartee, petting my cat (apparently; she seems to like it), lovemaking, sarcasm, sensuality, empathy, heavy petting, open-heartedness, mild bondage, cursing at my computer, surprises, and wishing I was either taller or thinner.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably, my long hair. I can sense others' unspoken reactions: "I mean, WTF is with that dude having long hair like that as HIS age?! How... inappropriate!! Obviously, he's in denial, refuses to act his age, and willfully exploits the fact that Nature's been kind, pretty much leaving his full head of hair the hell alone (including leaving the color mostly intact). The nerve!!!"

Reality: last time I cut it was July 2015, after two years' growth. That's longer than I'd normally let it go, but I decided to grow enough to donate (which I did, to the non-profit Children With Hair Loss). Since as I write this it's the last throes of summer and I still haven't got 'round to cutting it, I've decided to repeat the same grow/harvest scenario. Watch your local papers for next summer's event.

The other "first thing noticed" is probably my full beard. Two decades ago, when I was showing off new-baby photos of my first born a co-worker asked if my son had my chin; I replied that it was entirely possible, since I hadn't seen the damn thing in fifteen years and wasn't sure it was still under there. Facts: 1978 marked the first time I'd ever shaved off all my facial hair, as I'd had a beard ever since it originally deigned to show up on my boyish teenage face. 1978 also marked the LAST time I shaved off all my facial hair, because after two weeks of daily bouts with an electric razor I decided shaving one's face was almost as pointless and absurd as the electric can opener.

Oh... and you also may notice my blue eyes. Allegedly, they twinkle when I'm putting you on. Caveat emptor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite music: impossible to sum up in a text box this size. Broad swaths: rock (progressive, especially), jazz (NOT SMOOTH JAZZ; that stuff's suitable only for elevators and public toilets), instrumental bluegrass, classical (though not keen on 19th century romantics or most opera), some "new age" (though let's not get too navel-gazey, 'k?), and maybe even some pop that may surprise you (hell, it might even surprise me). Personal "A-list": Peter Gabriel, Steven Wilson (w/ or w/o Porcupine Tree), Ralph Towner (w/ or w/o Oregon), King Crimson, Michael Hedges, Mark Isham.

Favorite foods: Non-Boring. Cuisine preferences: Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Spanish, Mexican, Indonesian, Turkish, Japanese, Chinese, Cajun, Greek, and occasionally even some "nouvelle American" will do (and I probably missed a couple others that are fabulous). Diner fare is suitable only when everything else is closed; fast food is suitable only when everything else is closed and I'm desperate.

Favorite books: ones with words, unless it's a collection of visual images. Shocker: I like to write, but I'm not much of a book reader. Apologies (if necessary).

Favorite movies: ones that challenge me to think or inspire me to laugh (or both). I'll watch 'most anything if asked, though not explicit horror (I'll take macabre over mayhem any day) or really dreadful animation. And I am indeed a guy (trust me, this has been independently verified), but action movies don't get me h... um... excited.

Favorite "shows": dear Cupidistas, do you mean TV? If so, here's the deal: I own a television, but it's connected only to my BluRay. I don't have cable; if there's something I'd really like to watch, I'll go try to find it online. When I did bother with cable, former faves included Rachel Maddow, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Six Feet Under, Monk, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, and I can get sucked into a show or series if I find it interesting (which is an adjective that excludes most reality TV, 99% of sitcoms, and all prison shows).

... but if shows means "theatrical performances," I like most plays (everything from Shakespeare to absurdist), some musicals (mostly Sondheim works), and many types of dance, especially modern dance.
The six things I could never do without
Okay, I'm omitting obvious answers like carbon, oxygen and the rest of the Periodic Table of Elements, essential nutrients, water, lavatories, a heartbeat and gravity. We laughed, it was fun, let's move on.

> My sons.
> Love.
> Music.
> Expressive language (written or spoken).
> Sensual pleasures.
> Light and shadow.

Well... black coffee, margaritas, good red wine, real champagne, and dark craft beer could have made the list, too... though most likely they'd fall under the "essential nutrients" category noted above.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
music, social and political outrage, women, sensuality, light, color, sex, the world's troubles, words, ideas, what I'll next be writing about, our quirky human race, where can I get a decent cup of coffee at this hour, and seriously, just what on earth is my downstairs neighbor cooking that smells like boiled gym shorts and when is she going out so I can air out the joint and crank the music the hell UP.
On a typical Friday night I am
On a typical Friday night I'm pleased that I survived another week with minimal loss of soul at the cube farm. I have no "Friday night ritual," aside from feed the cat, prepare/consume supper and adult beverages, and exercise my mind, wit, and digits.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well, there was the time that I... um... er... no, I'd better not. Okay, how about the night that I... um... no, never mind. It's inexplicable. What was I thinking?? Hope the videos were destroyed...

But once we're better acquainted, I might tell you. Or demonstrate. Or ask if you'd be willing to... er... no, I'd better not.

...just yet.
You should message me if
...you'd like to spend some time around someone who's genuine, honest, humorous, friendly, libidinous, sensitive, and a bit eccentric. Bonus points if you want to meet. Additional bonus points if you bring handcuffs, but not a lot of baggage.
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