Look out, there are llamas...
Marilyn Monroe said, "If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." You'll understand why I mention this in a minute.
I love the outdoors and often can't be found because I'm off on some back-country adventure.
I've traveled extensively around the U.S. and am working on the rest of the world, mostly for the purpose of expanding my perspective. Currently any long-term or -distance travel is on hold due to a horrible economy that forces me to accept 1/3 the pay I earned 10 years ago.
I love animals and am currently working to befriend a grouping of crows. Originally I thought I could train them to be my minions, but apparently I got it backwards.
I aspire to find true peace and happiness and believe in finding it in the liberation of others.
I'm a socially conscious, left leaning, anarchist who votes and doesn't find those last two to necessarily be in contradiction (that's an interesting conversation we should have some time).
I wear hats as they are far more sensible than umbrellas.
Photography has been a life-long interest and I still shoot with a film camera.
I can easily be drawn into any art project that falls into a legal grey area.
I spell "grey" with an "E" but "color" just like that.
I sometimes confuse people when I ask "what that does that come in?"
I believe that surrealism is over-fished, but I'm the first to cast a bulldog.
I can fix your oboe, and that's not a surrealist joke or innuendo.
I'm actively trying to find a perfect balance of expression and employment.
I'm too poor to buy cheap crap so I buy the best that I can afford of anything.
I love cooking, but am terrible at doing it for one and have trouble with leftovers.
I have a weird fear of man-eating plants that stems from watching a Peter Sellers movie in my early childhood.
I've been know to play with gyroscopes.
I don't think of the glass as either half-empty or half-full, the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
Actually I am an optimist and will be the first to say "this is nothing, we can deal". I'm also often quite the realist though, and sometimes the opportunist who will drink the water while the other three argue about the glass (especially if instead of water it contains scotch).
I vote YES! on laughter.
I believe in often using the seven words you can't say on T.V. but have enough tact to know when not to.
I studied shamanism in Peru and want a Tibetan sky burial when I die.
I failed the Meyers-Briggs personality test.
I'm pretty honest about my faults.
Most of my friends say I'm eccentric, I happen to know they just think I'm weird.
I enjoy the beauty of simple things like when the moss is flowering.
I almost always root for the underdog.
I almost always am up for trying something new.
If you make me laugh out loud until I cry I will follow you like a puppy until I get you alone, then I might be inclined to chew up one of your favorite shoes.
Important things you should know-
I'm polyamorous- Like so many who identify as poly have said this does not mean I'm promiscuous or only looking for sex, to me, it means nearly the opposite. I am interested in long term relationships, that are emotionally based, with more than one partner. Not for you? That's fine, we can still be friends!
I'm not monogamous- Didn't I just say that? Well, sort of but no. As I often have only one partner at a given time some poly folk think I'm mono and to them I say sorry, you're wrong. I don't become emotionally intimate with just anybody and am not really interested in sleeping with you if I don't at least see that potential.
I am kinky, but there's nothing wrong with vanilla- Yes, I have a drawer full of all sorts of toys. This does not mean that whenever we're intimate we first have to discuss who's putting which toys where . It means that I enjoy that kind of play and will expect my partners to enjoy it with me. Often times I just want to have vanilla sex though- it makes the kinky play that much more exciting.
I'm heteroflexible. Such a strange concept that spellcheck has never even heard of it. That doesn't mean I'm bisexual, it means that I sometimes enjoy sensual play with men but have never been able to develop the emotional relationships with them that I have with women. I specifically don't say I'm bi because I don't want bi or gay men thinking they might find a love connection with me.
Now that I've put on my Sunday best for you let me show you the rags I've been known to wear (this is where Marilyn comes in) -
I can be arrogant.
I can get moody, which may include depressed, angry, anxious, and/or neurotic.
I can be brutally honest (I've had a few people tell me this isn't a negative thing. Those who don't think it is should never ask me if their jeans make their ass look fat if they'd be upset should I say yes. I won't be insulting about it, just honest).
I have little tolerance for hypocrisy, passive aggression or flakiness, even though I can sometimes be either of the last two (yes, along with honest about them, I mock my faults).
I have been known to be vindictive, at least in my thoughts.
I think most of us probably have a few of these traits, if not all of them and more. Ultimately, I think I'm a pretty nice guy, and the fact that I have a large circle of non-asshole friends who love me dearly speaks to that effect.
Here's a funny tidbit that I don't really know where to place, see as neither negative nor positive, but feel is important to mention:
I'm pretty poor right now which doesn't mean I can't do things, just that they need to be inexpensive. If this matters to you at all you should just move along because I can't guarantee that I'll ever not be poor. That said, I'm still generally happy and know that I am quite wealthy in other ways.
Now back to my good side...
My laugh, which can sometimes be heard in the next valley.
That I sometimes dress quite well for a person who lives at just above the poverty level.
I know this list doesn't reflect well the fact that I read mostly non-fiction. I especially especially dig the soft sciences.
I go through bouts with books. I used to read them voraciously, but not so much lately. I have an ongoing internal dialogue about this and am OK with it knowing that I still read a lot, just mostly on-line.
Movies and actors- classics, film noir, (too much of both to name) Blazing Saddles, Twin Peaks, The Bourne Trilogy (I do love a good, intelligent action/suspense), The Ocean's Trilogy (I also like a good clever comedy), Dr. Stangelove et al by Kubrick, Jim Jarmusch, The Coen Brothers, Redford and Newman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Emma Thompson, Bill Nighy, John Turturro, Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Peter Sellers, Frances McDormand, Robert Downey, Helen Miren...
TV- I probably watch more than I should, though I notice that I've cut down lately. NCIS, Doctor Who, Craig Ferguson, Jon Stewart, House, Breaking Bad...
Music- far too much to go into, but I'll try. My life has a soundtrack. If there's nothing playing I'm often caught singing or humming, sometimes quite loudly. I like most music outside of contemporary country, whiny hipster music and gangster rap. Personal favorites include Ornette Coleman, Dizzy Gillespie, King Crimson, David Byrne, Tom Waits, The Violent Femmes, Radiohead, The Rolling Stones, Brian Eno, Joaquin Sabina, Motown, Fanz Ferdinand, Bach, Spinal Tap, Lyle Lovett, OK-Go, Ray Charles, Spoon, Otis Redding, Charles Mingus, Joni Mitchell, The Breaking Winds, Eric Dolphy, Procol Harum, Elvis Costello- looking at this list it seems I prefer classic rock to contemporary, which is somewhat true and based on my opinion that there just hasn't been a lot of good music to come out in the last two decades. The fact is though, I like most music- 'nuff said.
Food- I'm a vicious omnivore. I will try just about anything once and have found a lot of weird things that are amazingly yummy for having done so. Sadly, a lot of those things are unavailable here (pan toasted beetle grubs, roast guinea pig, etc.)
I love pizza and could eat it (and have) every day.
I love to cook and am pretty damn good at it; from barbecue to traditional Italian, to Asian, to Darkest Peruvian. I can take almost any four ingredients from your cupboard and make something you'll enjoy and I'm looking for someone who puts me to this challenge.
Favorite artists- Jackson Pollock, Christo and Jeanne-Claude, Edward Hopper, Rothko, De Kooning, Mark Tobey, Jacob Lawrence, Diego Rivera- can you tell I love an eclectic mix?
Favorite movie quote- "We'll blow that bridge when we cross it"- if you know what movie this is from you score BIG points, and don't try googling it, that will only bring you right back here (try it, it's true!)
Note- apparently a character on Ugly Betty used a very similar line. If you google this line without quotes you'll find it. That's not where I got it from though.
Favorite punctuation- the ellipses... (and parenthesis) I overuse them both, but can't stop myself; I love them so much!
a good plan (though it doesn't have to be followed)
a pocket full of peanuts to feed the crows
OOOOOH look parenthesis AND ellipses!
I might be out with friends, or planning my next project, or might be knitting at home. If you come up with something for us to do on Friday let me know and I'll be there!
I spin bullshit in entertaining ways. I'm really good at making up plausible answers to questions I don't know the real answer to and often my answer is incredibly convincing (occasionally it's even right). I have fooled genuine experts doing this. I will tell you when I do it, though I hope to find partners who recognize it, give me a skeptical look and say "wait a second, did you just make that up?"
Listen to a Tom Waits live album and you'll get some idea of what I'm talking about, I might have stolen this act from him.
That said, I'm very honest and certainly won't bullshit you when it matters.
you're looking for a good friend (the kind who helps move a body)
you're looking for a not-as-good-as-that friend (the kind who won't help you move the body, but probably wouldn't turn you in if he found out)
you're looking for a fun and kinky play partner
you want to collaborate on epic art
you want to go backpacking, especially in mid-August to watch the Perseids.
you want me to cook you something yummy from four ingredients in your cupboard.
*note- I'd like to pick one of them, and the spice cabinet is open season (no pun intended).
you're not full of shit (OK, you can be full of shit, but only in a fun, Tom Waits kind of way which, as I just said, I am.)
you want to feed the crows that come to my window
I don't really know what to write here to be honest with you, but any of these things would work. Try me, I'm open.